Most of them are looking for someone to sleep with. Since in our society , culture and religion it is very hard to sleep with opposite sex without marriage that is why they get married.
These people do not believe that marriage is a contract , marriage is holy , marriage is an institution , marriage demands work to nurture and work to turn it into a beautiful relationship it is meant to be.
They are lazy , they do not want to work on mending the fences. Before they get married they think all their problems they are facing as a single person will be resolved and married life is a cinch. Once they get married they find out to their dismay that marriage has its own set of problems and issues and it is not that bed of rosed they hoped for , then they start to look for a scapegoat to blame for their misery. So their husband , their in laws , their parents are an easy target to put the blame on for their misery. If they put same amount of time in working on their marriage as they put in basing everybody for their misery, they will lead a happy and healthy life.
Can you relate to or oppose my POV ? If you can, go ahead, who is stopping you ?
Re: If marriage has so many problems then why do they marry ?
as they say there is always a first time for everything , so how do people know how to be married , what is right and what is wrong until they are married ?
so once they are they experience all problems and then learn how to handle them
no one gets married and has a manual on how to be married
at times marriage is not what people imagine , damn those films and dramas
i myself was one of them , but with time you learn
however there are those that do not wish to leanr and continue being silly
Re: If marriage has so many problems then why do they marry ?
Being a veteran in this area compared to many people on this forum, here's my analysis.
Marriage is important for social order... yeah throw rotten tomatoes at me but, just imagine if none of us were married, we'd be uncommitted and in the hospital every second month for various issues ranging from sexual to mental disorders. Marriage is sunnah...as much as I try to keep religion away, it's not possible. There is blessing in marriage.
So a lot of emphasis is placed in marriage. When I was a young girl, I too thought that parents want to get rid of us but now that I have children of my own, I can understand that after education, etc etc., I would want my daughters to be married off to their husbands so they can enjoy the blessings.
So why can't we have a normal life without getting married... oh yes we can by all means. I have a couple of family members who never got married for whatever reason, and they are both well settled, happy and healthy. So yeah sure you can survive. But my question is that if you have the opportunity to get married, why refuse it?
Why all this chaos about marriages not being what you expect them to be and all that? Why so much analysis? Why so much speculation? And then, why so much expectation? I see young girls getting into marriages with the expectation that their in laws will be mean, or their husbands will be nasty... so much goes into the planning of a wedding that the focus from marriage is shifted. When reality strikes, it's a big surprise that marriage is yet another relationship and like any relationship, it requires a 100% effort from each partner.
No, husbands don't bring in your breakfast tray in the morning on your bed of roses and carry you around the house and write messages in their blood on the bathroom mirror claiming their eternal love...and no wives aren't supermodels or insensitive aliens or vacuum cleaners that should suck up every piece of crap their comes their way. But the journey is beautiful if you decide to make it work.
Re: If marriage has so many problems then why do they marry ?
I too love being married! I am blessed mA! I think people have WAY TOO MUCH expectations from their spouses. (I also include MEN in that)
But Niksik - I think if you are NOT ready for marriage - you shouldn't get married. If you have baggage, you are not willing to commit - you shouldn't get married.
It is sunnah but it's not farz. Sometimes parents SHOVE their children into marriages that they don't want and cannot commit to.
Re: If marriage has so many problems then why do they marry ?
njgal, if you have obvious baggage then yeah, definitely make things lighter before getting into marriage...but for some people, it's invisible baggage... that comes in form of fear, a fear so great that there's no room for adjustment. I also agree that parents shouldn't force their kids...unfortunately all that still happens.
