if in Khulla, the woman cannot give haq merh back..then?

Lifestyle Relationships
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JUST A general question, just had a lively debate with family members about this topic, and a question that no one can answer…whay happens if women wants khulla cannot give her haq merh back-either is spent, or if gold, she lost or hasnt got it…then what…

now im asumming, she gives the value of the gold…but how can the boys side prove the amount its worth, what if they dont have the receipts…

also i have noticed people are very clver nowadyas, in the haq merh section writing gold tola as well as the money amount, when really shouldnt it just be money…usually gold is given as a gift, not on haq merh terms…

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Re: if in Khulla, the woman cannot give haq merh back..then?

What you mean if she hasn’t goten it…like they never gave it to her?

in that case, she doesn’t have to give back anything she didn’t get :konfused:

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Re: if in Khulla, the woman cannot give haq merh back..then?

noooo, i meant they gave 5 tola gold for example, and she doenst have it anymore.....then.....

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Re: if in Khulla, the woman cannot give haq merh back..then?

well then she gives that amount back. haq mehr is WRITTEN out on the nikah nama. Whatever it says, u return that

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Re: if in Khulla, the woman cannot give haq merh back..then?

yessssssssss, but the question is what if you cant ive it back ....does the khulla still happen...i know it does if husband forgives it, but if he doesnt then...

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Re: if in Khulla, the woman cannot give haq merh back..then?

Somebody correct me if I'm wrong...but in the case of a talaaq, the wife keeps the haq mehr...and in the case of a khulla she must give the haq mehar amount back, right? THat's what I always thought.....but then a few weeks ago someone told me that the haq mehar is for the wife to keep either way...but in the case of a khullah she must give back any additional gifts. So, which one is it?

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Re: if in Khulla, the woman cannot give haq merh back..then?

The previous one, she has to give up her Haq Mehr in case of a Khulla, Keeps it in case she gets Talaaq.

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Re: if in Khulla, the woman cannot give haq merh back..then?

I dont think the Khulla wouldnt go through. I think it would just be owed to return the haq mehr at some point. Beyond haq mehr btw, gifts do not need to be returned. Khulla would go through. The haq mehr can be forgiven or owed.

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Re: if in Khulla, the woman cannot give haq merh back..then?

That's what I had thought. Cuz what my friend suggested just seemed odd...I had never heard that before. Thank you :)

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Re: if in Khulla, the woman cannot give haq merh back..then?

On a separate note, in Pakistan a "right of divorce" clause 18 would mean that a girl can initiate a divorce and can keep haq mehr and all

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Re: if in Khulla, the woman cannot give haq merh back..then?

Hmm, I don't know about it going through regardless, in Saudi there was a case of a young girl who had gotten infected with HIV from her husband who had not disclosed his status and was refusing her divorce! The girl's family had no choice but to apply for a Khulla and cough up the Haq Mehar. I don't remember the exact details but there was a general outcry over the whole issue.

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Re: if in Khulla, the woman cannot give haq merh back..then?

She gives it back if its a Khula and keeps it if its Talaaq.

Gifts are hers to keep.

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Re: if in Khulla, the woman cannot give haq merh back..then?

Haq mehr can be kept by the woman if during the khulla proceedings it is determined that the man has breached the rights of the woman either nullifying the marriage, or committing a major sin which is strong grounds for khulla ... if a woman is deemed to have no pressing reason other than not herself willing to continue in the marriage, she may acquit the marriage by giving back her haq mehr by judge approval. Either way whether the woman keeps the haq mehr, gives it back or carries a debt to give it back as a deferred amount is the outcome of the khulla process on a case by case basis.

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Re: if in Khulla, the woman cannot give haq merh back..then?

As per religion teaching it is not a MUST, it is advised to men to let the women keep their mehar in case of Khulla...

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Re: if in Khulla, the woman cannot give haq merh back..then?

we are going through an ordeal regarding khula in family :sigh: and the lawyer explained that khula means the girls tells her husband to tell her whatever he demands to ‘release’ her from the wedlock.it is upto the husband either to demand nothing, the haq mehr, or anything for that. Now I dont know if this is by law or by shariah but he referred to the first example of khula in islam where a woman came to the Prophet Muhammad seeking the dissolution of her marriage, she told the Prophet that she did not have any complaints against her husband’s character or manners. Her only problem was that she honestly did not like him(physical appearance) to the extent of not being able to live with him any longer. The Prophet asked her: “Would you give him his garden (the marriage gift he had given her i.e mehr) back?” she said: “Yes”. The Prophet then instructed the man to take back his garden and accept the dissolution of the marriage.

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Re: if in Khulla, the woman cannot give haq merh back..then?

i think the concept of haq mehr needs to be probably explained to people, especially durign the nikkah ceremony. the haq mehr, is what its called: a haq. ie. her right. The wife has the right for this gift - whether cash or gold. it is a wediding gift from the groom to the bride and she can decide what she wants to do with it.

a lot of people think that the haq mehr is some sort of alimony and only given when there is a divorce. not true. it shoudl be given as soon as the husband is able to give the wife the gift, like on the wedding day, for example. and it is hers for her to keep.

if a husband does not give his wife her haq mehr, he will be asked about this on the Day of Judgement.

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Re: if in Khulla, the woman cannot give haq merh back..then?

If it no fault of man then the maher has to be returned , if it was fault of the woman then she needs to return mehar if the man so demands.
Some men will not ask it back , most will do demand it back .

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Re: if in Khulla, the woman cannot give haq merh back..then?


And most times that clause is crossed out automatically.

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Re: if in Khulla, the woman cannot give haq merh back..then?


In that case he owes it to her, even in the case of a khulla, right?

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Re: if in Khulla, the woman cannot give haq merh back..then?

tes sahar. i believe so.

The marriage payment or dowry (mahr) is the right of the wife/bride by which she is honoured and formally entered into wedlock (nikah).
Allah Most High says:
�Give them (women) their dowers.� (Surah al-Nisa, 24)
Hence, the husband is obliged to pay off this dowry, especially after divorce. If the marriage was consummated, then the full amount will have to be paid, otherwise the husband will have to pay half of the stipulated amount.
Allah Most High says:
�And if you divorce them before consummation, but after the fixation of a dower for them, then the half of the dower (is due to them), unless they remit it� (Surah al-Baqarah, 237)
This dowry is the right of the wife and must be paid to her and not her family. What the man gave the girl�s father as gift will not form part of the dowry, for it was not given to the girl, and also because it was given as gift. However, if the man clearly stated at the time of giving the money to the girl�s father that this is the dowry for his daughter, then it will be considered as dowry.
Therefore, you state that over the period of five years he gave his wife�s father money as simple charity (which in effect is a gift), hence this money will not form part of the dowry, and the husband will have to give his ex-wife the stipulated amount of dowry.
And Allah knows best
Muhammad ibn Adam al-Kawthari
Darul Iftaa, Leicester, UK