you have asked all the appropriate questions, looked for every red flag possible, done your homework and your due diligence in seeking out a sincere guy and family that are supportive of you…and then you find out after marriage they are now asking you to drop your job…
how would you react to it?
As in WHAT WOULD THE WORDS BE THAT WOULD COME OUT OF YO’ MOUTH.
Re: If after marriage...
LOL PCG, I like all these simulation scenarios you have been posting ...
Re: If after marriage...
Laikin aapnay to kaha tha.... :(
Haan laikin AB Mae yay keh raha hoon :{ (<-- that btw is a guy with a mustache)
Re: If after marriage...
Laikin aapnay to kaha tha.... :( Haan laikin AB Mae yay keh raha hoon :{ (<-- that btw is a guy with a mustache)
lol .. i don't even know why guys keep mustache anymore .. except for movember of course
If after marriage...
"Kya kya kya?!?!" Bollywood style
"Nahinnnnnnnnn.....!" dramatic Bollywood style
Re: If after marriage...
"Jo hukum soorTaj. App ka liya khana la aoon"
Re: If after marriage...
A good homework and due diligence should result in a rishta that would allow your next 7 generations to not need a job. :P
Re: If after marriage...
This doesn't make sense.
Surely if you have done your 'homework' - asking the employment question should have been in there somewhere?
If you did ask and at the time it was ok but now after marriage the answer has changed, then that's a pretty sad situation to be in!
Re: If after marriage…
nd then you find out after marriage they are now asking you to drop your job the guy can’t get it up.
Now? What about this scenario?
Re: If after marriage...
Assuming the question was answered affirmatively prior to signing the papers, I would look at the problems they are presenting and try to find other solutions for them. If they keep insisting, I will tell the husband it is not happening unless I think that's the right thing to do. And IF I do drop my job it will be to solve temporary problems.
Only time I would decide to quite working for life is when I am truly frustrated with work life.
Re: If after marriage...
how do you come across so many scenarios in one day?
Re: If after marriage…
I am lol’ing now, but maybe one day I may be very sad.
Re: If after marriage...
The words out of my mouth:
"Ain't nobody got time for that", as I rush out the door trying to be out of work on time.
And next time it's brought up.
"No".
Then the next time.
"No"
Then again.
"No"
Then again.
pretend like I can't hear him
Repeat the above until he wants to throw himself off the balcony in frustration and his mom throws hissy fits beyond galore.
Re: If after marriage...
you have asked all the appropriate questions, looked for every red flag possible, done your homework and your due diligence in seeking out a sincere guy and family that are supportive of you...and then you find out after marriage they are now asking you to drop your job...
how would you react to it?
As in WHAT WOULD THE WORDS BE THAT WOULD COME OUT OF YO' MOUTH.
No arguments or tantrums but it would be a clear 'no' and that would be the end of it.. Am not stupid enough to give up something inoffensive which I enjoy and gives me financial security..
Re: If after marriage...
I've seen families pull a girl out of her career after false promises prior to marriage. It's actually VERY common. And a lot of women give in because of stupid bribes. My cousin was forced to leave her job, otherwise they were gonna keep her baby and kick her out of the house. This was in Pakistan. Naturally, for that to happen in other countries isn't so easy, because other countries actually offer justice in the court, but it happens. I know a bunch of professional girls who once upon a time had great careers, now sitting at home, at mummy in laws insistence.
Re: If after marriage...
how do you come across so many scenarios in one day?
Lolz
Re: If after marriage...
That is why I say, no matter how many guarantees you take upfront there is no guarantee whats gonna happen later so just do basic scouting and trust your instincts and perhaps experience of your folkes...leave the rest to Allah / God / Bhagwan / Randomness whatever you believe in.
Re: If after marriage...
You could put this stipulation in the nikah Nama, someone I know actually did this, she lives in Canada now, wedding was in Pakistan. Actually now the husband gets nervous if she talks about quitting her job due to loss of the extra income.
Re: If after marriage...
There are NO guarantees in marriage PCG. None.
One more thing...every situation is what you make of it. Remember that...if you want to work, you'll find a way.
Re: If after marriage...
That's not acceptable Reha. Men need to be held to their promises. That mindset is what allows guys to get away with their stupidity in our culture.