If after marriage.....part 2

Lifestyle Relationships
1

you have asked all the appropriate questions, looked for every red flag possible, done your homework and your due diligence in seeking out a sincere guy and family that are supportive of you…and then you find out after marriage that he was …
..
.
.
Gay
But says, is reformed (dunno any other suitable word)

How will you react?

2

Re: If after marriage.....part 2

Being gay is not a lifestyle- it is not a choice. Do you think if they could, they would choose to be gay?..No.
So if you mean he pretends not to be gay and is basically in the closet about it, then no..why would I want to be married to a guy who is not physically attracted to me?

3

Re: If after marriage.....part 2

How would you find out that he is gay though? Most desi women don't have experience before marriage so most of us would not know what a straight man would be like and what a gay man would be like unless he comes out and announces to you and to his family that he is a homosexual which would cause his family and himself a lot of issues and problems amongst the desi community..........so no he won't come out if he's a gay desi man.

Basically whichever woman he marries would be incredibly traumatized if she does figure out that she's married to a gay man, a man that's not attracted to her.

4

Re: If after marriage.....part 2

Okay, so I do know of a few such cases - one guy was gay and they divorced because the marriage was unconsummated and the other case, he was bi-sexual and he had several kids with his wife.

I actually suspect there are a fair number of bi-sexual men in PK, but because of the gay taboo, no one talks about it and the wife either knowingly or more than likely, unknowingly lives with it.

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Re: If after marriage…part 2

Great going, Iconay :k:

Just when PCG thought that a guy against a working wife was the worst of her fears. :confused:

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Re: If after marriage.....part 2

More so, if he is a passive type. He would like PCG for her domineering personality.

How come you figured that? Just curious.

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Re: If after marriage…part 2

in that case i’d make him do the bartan maanjing while i went to work. :snooty:

as long as my kuttaji okayed his cleaning skillz.

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Re: If after marriage.....part 2

Send him to the 'un-gay camp'.

Or sing along to Abba with him :/

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Re: If after marriage.....part 2

Gay people exist in every community - we see plenty of examples in North America, Europe, South East, etc. of openly gay men who have acceptance for their sexual orientation. And there are also plenty of men who are in the closet - and marry to hide their orientation only to come out later.

I don't doubt that the same is true in Pakistan - we all know there is a gay community there as well where there is far less acceptance and greater need to hide this about themselves. I wasn't suggesting that it's a sizeable population - just that the scenario (woman marries a man, only to find out he's gay after they are married) isn't as isolated or unheard of as some might think. And probably the reverse is as likely - closet lesbians getting married.

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Re: If after marriage.....part 2

main to bi-sexual ka pooch raha tha. Aaapko kaisay pata chala?

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Re: If after marriage.....part 2

That's not wise. Once they'd get exposed in any case. I am sure the other partner would be interested in having kids.

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Re: If after marriage.....part 2

Because the example I spoke of - that's what happened. She (wife) knew, but did nothing about it. And as for how I know, certain stories come out...

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Re: If after marriage.....part 2

I wanted you to clarify something since people seem to be going all over the place with this hypo. By "reformed"….do you mean that the guy claims he is not gay anymore and in the marriage, he is sexually attracted to his wife and is able to maintain a normal sex life? And the guy is interested in staying married, having kids etc?

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Re: If after marriage.....part 2

I would play Y...M...C...A
to test his claim of being reformed.

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If after marriage.....part 2

I don't think I'll be accepting.

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Re: If after marriage.....part 2

get the hell out of the marriage...it's NOT worth it! :)

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Re: If after marriage.....part 2

I don't know. If he was good to me, a good dad, wanted to stay in the marriage have kids, live a halal life and stay away from affairs of any sort, and have a heterosexual practice to fulfill his Islamic beliefs, I'd be ok with it. Might take some weird role play I guess behind closed doors.

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Re: If after marriage.....part 2

yes

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Re: If after marriage.....part 2

Being gay is an orientation or preference, its not that gay men cannot be attracted to a woman or cant have physical relations with them (as far as i understand).

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Re: If after marriage.....part 2

I can't imagine being married to someone who wants to be with a man and not me. i would help him come out, find a guy and get out of his life.