Shak
January 5, 2015, 1:17pm
131
Re: I wrongfully accused my husband of abuse—please please help!!!
No, Hadeel.
I don’t have any issue with you saying that she should be ashamed of herself.
I also don’t care how common this “doob mar jaanay” waali saying is in our culture, but I don’t think it should be said. What she did is wrong; there’s no doubt about that. But suicide is haraam for even the worst of sinners.
I have talked to the OP via PM. And I have come to know of additional details which explain why she feels so deeply ashamed to face her husband. I am not going to reveal them out of respect for privacy. But considering what I know…she feels pretty ****ty already. I will admit that I feel disturbed by the story just as everyone else here does. But you never know whether or not someone, in their vulnerable state, will act upon comments like “go kill yourself.” Again, I know that it’s a common saying…but I don’t even think one should say it to their own kids.
And like I said earlier, we are acting as though we were the ones she falsely accused of violence. The one who is the most hurt is her husband and it’s rather big- hearted of him to consider forgiving her and still wanting to give the marriage a shot. To say that one should be ashamed or to question/mock their sanity and is one thing and I get that…I really do understand that. But to express disapproval to the extent of saying that one doesn’t deserve to live…is taking it too far.
With due respect RV, she feels so ashamed that she can’t face her husband, yet that shame doesn’t extend to telling her dad to shut up about allegations or humiliating her husband on the forum? Why tell others her husband is on the forum at all?
Noone really empathises with someone who is feeling shame yet displays ten times more shameful behavior.