Re: I wish a new tradition would arise, spend the least amount of money on weddings.
Yeah money given to the bride’s PARENTS IS akin to selling her off…haq meher is the bride’s gift from her husband, nobody has the right to butt in on that subject and then call her names when she says something 
I dont’ find anything wrong with the concept of jahez. It’s only wrong when it’s abused and in-laws wil give crap to her because of that. I also believe that the reason alot of weddings are expensive are because of the jahez/barri/shopping that’s done, again nothing wrong with it if it’s done willingly by both parties and the recipients appreciate whatever they get. My mother wanted to give things to all the members of his family, even though some relatives were totally against it (its not like they were actually paying for anything, so dunno y the bakbak 
)…
It is kind of sad that “suddeN” and simple marriages kinda have a negative implication, that the parents are somewhat “ashamed” of it thats why they aren’t having a big huge typical wedding party… of course the real story is always different, lekin that’s how it is viewed in our culture mostly, that small/simple/“boring” weddings are something to be ashamed of…if one really IS against all the dhoom-dhaam, then they’re more than welcome to fight for it if they think it’s worth it..
No girl should ever be forced to have a boring blurry day of a wedding if she always wanted the special, fun, lively wedding and no guy should ever be forced to spend money that he doesn’t have on ridiculous of expenses. It’s all about compromise.