Re: I wish a new tradition would arise, spend the least amount of money on weddings.
generally speaking the relatives are the one who start bickering if you say no to any of the following.
1) Video or photo shoots.
2)Food for barat.
3)Namaz is held and thus no music is there.
4) No to any of the rasms including mehndi,mayoon,nashta,muklawa or showcasing the dowry.
In my opinion if the relatives are happy meeting each other they dont need these boosters. Ofcourse my observations are based on my experiences and those around me. I have never come across a wedding which was kept simple,the namaz timing were giving due attention, showoff was resisted. My father and i tried to have one and succeeded mostly but that was only because my in laws are reasonable folks who even if didn't agree to my perspective didn't push their ideas onto me or my family and neither did my parents had a fear that i would get mistreated because of having a wedding my way. It hugely depends on the guy's family in Pakistani culture in my opinion.
Re: I wish a new tradition would arise, spend the least amount of money on weddings.
Bhai, you have your own way of defining what kind of wedding you want. You wanted what was important for you. Good for you that you got it.
Not everyone wants to have a wedding devoid of all traditions. So there is no one size fits all here. Everyone should do/get what they are comfortable with.
Extremes are bad. Be it too flashy to the point of over-indulgence or too simple to the point of being miserly.
Re: I wish a new tradition would arise, spend the least amount of money on weddings.
Bhai, you have your own way of defining what kind of wedding you want. You wanted what was important for you. Good for you that you got it.
Not everyone wants to have a wedding devoid of all traditions. So there is no one size fits all here. Everyone should do/get what they are comfortable with.
Extremes are bad. Be it too flashy to the point of over-indulgence or too simple to the point of being miserly.
That is the point every one wants what they want. Its my opinion that if you are on the end wanting simple wedding it nearly impossible to have it due to social pressure. It is sadly considered miserly. Hardly have i (once again my experience) come across a situation where people are pressurised into having small scale wedding mostly the undeserving demands arise in the veil of tradition. Its my opinion that trend setting should emerge from well off families, it has more effect that way.
Re: I wish a new tradition would arise, spend the least amount of money on weddings.
Do the latinos or goris really convert to Islam? Whats the big deal waisay... She's just converting for the guy and not for God. I don't know whats actually in practice but you can throw a bit of light as to why they don't stick to their own religion, if its most of them.
How did you reach this conclusion, and just how many converts do you happen to know? Many are more piuos than "born" muslims because they don't fall in with all of the cultural bs. Are you suggesting that someone "stick to their own religion" if they don't believe it to be true? This is probably one of the most jahil comments I've seen on this site in awhile, and that is saying a lot.
The practice in Arab countries is called "mehr" and happens to come from ISLAM, although the amount has become excessive. It isn't "selling" the girl, because the money belongs to her. The wife and her family do not have to give anything to the groom or his family. Jahez is a Hindu tradition.
Re: I wish a new tradition would arise, spend the least amount of money on weddings.
The practice in Arab countries is called "mehr" and happens to come from ISLAM, although the amount has become excessive. It isn't "selling" the girl, because the money belongs to her. The wife and her family do not have to give anything to the groom or his family. Jahez is a Hindu tradition.
Mehr is different than 'hail' (please read post #5 above). Of course Mehr is from Islam and its given to the bride as a wedding gift. As long as it is reasonable I don't think anyone has a problem with it. What I commented on was the money given to bride's father ('hail') in some Arab countries. Its not mehr, and in my mind I don't understand how getting an exorbitant amount of money from the groom is any different than selling your daughter to the highest bidder.
Re: I wish a new tradition would arise, spend the least amount of money on weddings.
Yeah money given to the bride’s PARENTS IS akin to selling her off…haq meher is the bride’s gift from her husband, nobody has the right to butt in on that subject and then call her names when she says something I dont’ find anything wrong with the concept of jahez. It’s only wrong when it’s abused and in-laws wil give crap to her because of that. I also believe that the reason alot of weddings are expensive are because of the jahez/barri/shopping that’s done, again nothing wrong with it if it’s done willingly by both parties and the recipients appreciate whatever they get. My mother wanted to give things to all the members of his family, even though some relatives were totally against it (its not like they were actually paying for anything, so dunno y the bakbak )…
It is kind of sad that “suddeN” and simple marriages kinda have a negative implication, that the parents are somewhat “ashamed” of it thats why they aren’t having a big huge typical wedding party… of course the real story is always different, lekin that’s how it is viewed in our culture mostly, that small/simple/“boring” weddings are something to be ashamed of…if one really IS against all the dhoom-dhaam, then they’re more than welcome to fight for it if they think it’s worth it..
No girl should ever be forced to have a boring blurry day of a wedding if she always wanted the special, fun, lively wedding and no guy should ever be forced to spend money that he doesn’t have on ridiculous of expenses. It’s all about compromise.
Re: I wish a new tradition would arise, spend the least amount of money on weddings.
Yeah i kinda know what you mean, I loved everything abt my wedding, buT I was very relieved on the valima night (because it was all oveR).. we didn’t do the muklava or the nashta dayna, we were going to but then at the last minute decided against it…
Re: I wish a new tradition would arise, spend the least amount of money on weddings.
**And then people would brag about how they only invited 10 people and only spent $400 (or whatever local currency). Then everyone listening will go, inshallah I will do the same. Some will get really jealous and not invite anyone.
**that will be turmed as if doing it 'secretly'. people adopt this sadgi when it is second marraige or something like that
Sorry but the whole concept of wedding is celebration as it is union of two families akin to merger of two companies so why keep it low profile ? when most probably it would be the only time the couple would be getting married.
Inviting family and friend should be the norm. but spending should be kept under control
Re: I wish a new tradition would arise, spend the least amount of money on weddings.
Speaking of fancy weddings hear this: $60 million to say ‘I do’
Indian steel tycoon throws
6-day bash for daughter’s wedding
AMIT BHATIA AND VANISHA MITTAL CELEBRATE EXCHANGE OF RINGS IN PARIS
Reuters
Amit Bhatia (left) and Vanisha Mittal celebrate at the exchange of rings ceremony during their wedding festivities at Versailles in Paris, June 20.
PARIS - An Indian steel tycoon reportedly paid $60 million for his daughter’s wedding — a six-day bash for 1,500 guests in France’s most sumptuous settings, including Versailles.
Lakshmi Mittal rented the Tuileries garden in Paris one night and a gallery at Versailles another night to celebrate the marriage of his 23-year-old daughter, Vanisha, to 25-year-old Amit Bhatia, according to Thursday’s edition of Paris Match magazine.
Louis XIV’s lavish chateau apparently was not enough — Mittal also had a makeshift castle built at a park in Saint-Cloud, outside the capital, Paris Match said. The actual wedding took place Tuesday at another chateau, Vaux-le-Vicomte.
The $60 million price tag was about the cost of an Airbus A320 passenger jet.
The wedding put on by Mittal, named by Forbes magazine as one of the richest people in the world, cost more than the recent royal wedding in Spain. Paris Match said the wedding of Spain’s Crown Prince Felipe to TV anchorwoman Letizia Ortiz cost $35 million.
Re: I wish a new tradition would arise, spend the least amount of money on weddings.
A fancy wedding is just wrong. You can do a tasteful wedding within your budget or by saving money in the right places. Fancy weddings are just a dikhaava. See, after your wedding is when the real kharcha will come. Your honeymoon,a car perhaps, a apartment/house to live in, bills to pay, doctor visits(if bachey r to come), etc etc. So I say, spend wisely on the wedding so you may live a comfortable life afterwards. Getting married Islamically is a very simple and personal process between a man and a woman done at the nikkah. Islamically there is no such thing as a mehndi, maiyoun etc but there is nothing wrong in having those parties but remember..have you given money to the poor? If you can afford to give money to the poor then do so before thinking about a lavish wedding. In my opinion the places that need the most spending/priority are: 1. dulha/dulhan dress (Hey all eyes r on you and you wanna look your best) 2. Food ( you want guests leaving full and saying good things about it. The food can make it or break it) 3. Location- you want to remember this day forever and you want to be able to find a place that will fit every1 you're inviting. Plus, the better the wedding venue, the less decorating you will have to do ( It also saves money so you buy less deco. I went to a wedding where the ceilings were very high and the lamps on the walls were very beautiful and the curtains equally nice so thus there didn't need to be as much decorations besides the stage itself and the table centerpieces)
Going further, I feel a wedding is a personal thing and should be celebrated by those close to the bride and grooms family. there is no use sharing your special day with ai bai shai people. The more people the more shor and hungama. But that can be fun in itself except the bride and groom don't want unnecessary attention. See, there is no need to invite that auntie who your mom met once at a party and liked. Unless they are the best of friends and have hung out many times since that party then there is no need in calling her. The less people, the less you'll have to spend. No need to be kanjoos, but just cut out unnecessary people. I went to a wedding where there were two tables full of American people. I asked the brides sister who they were and she said everyone who worked at her dads office even though they were not that close or even though they had not hung out much after work. He should have invited only one family from his work whom he has actually hung out with or is true friends with. And thats a personal opinion..
I dont’ find anything wrong with the concept of jahez. It’s only wrong when it’s abused and in-laws wil give crap to her because of that. I also believe that the reason alot of weddings are expensive are because of the jahez/barri/shopping that’s done, again nothing wrong with it if it’s done willingly by both parties and the recipients appreciate whatever they get. My mother wanted to give things to all the members of his family, even though some relatives were totally against it (its not like they were actually paying for anything, so dunno y the bakbak 
)…
Yeah i kinda know what you mean, I loved everything abt my wedding, buT I was very relieved on the valima night (because it was all oveR).. we didn’t do the muklava or the nashta dayna, we were going to but then at the last minute decided against it…
