I can’t really tolerate my brother’s attitude towards me anymore. I am tired of hearing taunts that I should finish up my education for free, work full-time, take care of house responsibilities, and be a good mixture of both men and women. I have been cooking everyday, investing my time in house chores, and no one appreciates that. I’d like to pursue Master of Science degree in another state so I am planning on moving out to give myself peace of mind. Girls don’t move out in my primary family, however, my cousins are allowed to. I hate taana baazi because it really digs me down deep. I love my family but I can’t do anything being dependent on them. I just want to run away and fight against the norm! I hate gender inequality and people bossing me around since I am the youngest!
Re: I want to move out from parents house! (24yr old girl)
Try talking to your brother or your parents about his attitude if you haven't already done so. If you're planning on moving out, then I'm guessing it's based on the idea that your parents will be somewhat flexible about this. If not, then work on convincing them and consider getting some support from maybe an elder/relative from your family who can help persuade your parents. If your parents are not going to budge, you can still pursue a Master's degree in your own state... close to home. It's better than not pursuing your educational/career goal at all and it'll keep you busy and out of the home and away from your brother for a while. Although you shouldn't use this as an escape ....the problem with your brother needs to be addressed. If you (and ur parents) have talked to him...and it's been useless...then try ignoring him. Siblings tend to bug you more if you react to them. Also, consider thinking about any mistakes you might be making on your end that is leading to this problem.....maybe you're more focused on the cooking and not other tasks......maybe it's because of your expenses that you're being asked to get a job,.....maybe your brother is concerned about your future and wants you to be secure but isn't tactful about it, etc. Not saying you're in the wrong....but try to look at it from both sides and see what you can do to makes things better and easier for yourself. Easier said than done, I know. Hope things improve soon.
Re: I want to move out from parents house! (24yr old girl)
Try talking to your brother or your parents about his attitude if you haven't already done so. If you're planning on moving out, then I'm guessing it's based on the idea that your parents will be somewhat flexible about this. If not, then work on convincing them and consider getting some support from maybe an elder/relative from your family who can help persuade your parents. If your parents are not going to budge, you can still pursue a Master's degree in your own state... close to home. It's better than not pursuing your educational/career goal at all and It'll keep you busy and out of the home and away from your brother for a while. Although you should't use this as an escape ....your brother shouldn't be bringing you down and that problem needs to be addressed.
The issue is money to them. They want me to work full-time but not give me independence. I just wanna run away now! Live alone, die alone. I have been accepted to the University in other state. I cant pursue my goals being dependent on them. I am the one who is getting affected because everyone else will be happy in their lives. What will I have? My education and qualifications. I am really fed up with taana baazi and I cant survive in this house!
Re: I want to move out from parents house! (24yr old girl)
If you've been accepted into a Uni...then talk to your parents about moving out and pursuing your education. And how do you know for sure that you won't be given more independence if you start working? If you have a job....you'll have your own money....you have greater flexibility in spending it your way....that would give u independence to a good extent. With a job, you'll be out of the house...and managing things on your own...and it just shapes your personality in a different way...it can make you more responsible/self-reliant/confident....and with this development...maybe your family ease up and trust u more/give you more space.
But if education is your main goal...then get one of your cousin's patents to convince your's to move out. Do you have a scholarship? Are your parents concerned about educational expenses? If so, consider getting a part-time job. If you have over-protective parents....and that IS really tough to deal with.....you have to try to take more "initiative" with things to give them the idea that you can handle things on your own and be trusted. As frustrating as it is, it's not gonna happen over night.....it'll take time and will power from you to do things you hadn't before....and less complaining.
Re: I want to move out from parents house! (24yr old girl)
I moved out young. First I moved out for uni, took OSAP but also worked part time and through the summer to pay rent etc. Once I graduated I moved back home for a few months. I was lucky I found a full time job right away too. I never told anyone how much I made and saved at least 25% of my salary every month. When I had enough for the 5% downpayment I bought a condo (again without telling anyone). My parents weren't happy but they came around once I already had a place. The key to all this was that no one ever knew what my real income was. Even now I don't tell anyone, not even my husband. I suggest you do the same. Don't make hasty decisions because then you'll end up where you started and hear more tanas then ever before. Maybe move out for school but still come live with them during summers. Don't tell anyone your salary. Make a separate bank account for your salary and another one for your family to see and save save save.
Re: I want to move out from parents house! (24yr old girl)
Hey Everyone,
I can't really tolerate my brother's attitude towards me anymore. I am tired of hearing taunts that I should finish up my education for free, work full-time, take care of house responsibilities, and be a good mixture of both men and women. I have been cooking everyday, investing my time in house chores, and no one appreciates that. I'd like to pursue Master of Science degree in another state so I am planning on moving out to give myself peace of mind. Girls don't move out in my primary family, however, my cousins are allowed to. I hate taana baazi because it really digs me down deep. I love my family but I can't do anything being dependent on them. I just want to run away and fight against the norm! I hate gender inequality and people bossing me around since I am the youngest!
Instead of complaining...do something about it. If you want people to take you seriously...stop allowing things to happen. Find a solution and get it done. You're not a child, you're 24 years old.
Re: I want to move out from parents house! (24yr old girl)
I used to have similar issues. Be INDEPENDENT! Be UNIQUE!!! Get SUPER EDUCATED AND CHANGE THE WORLD.
And now look at me. LOOK AT YOUR FUTURE.....
buahahaha.
Sorry. Now if you excuse me ,I have to go rub a specialized cream I had to buy for my feet calluses on my tired, callused dry feet, and then I gotta go scrummage in my car which is an excuse for a closet, to find that water bottle, so I can hydrate myself with my first real glass of water all day....
Re: I want to move out from parents house! (24yr old girl)
I moved out at 22 for very similar reasons. Ha....I packed my stuff and drove to my new home (4 hours from parents) literally the day after my undergrad graduation. One of the best decisions I ever made. Absolutely no regrets.
You wrote you've already been accepted for the masters program....so do you have a plan for the move? Living situation...transportation? What about $? Do you have an idea on how much $$ you'll need to every month to live on your own? And do you have enough savings to move out on your own? I assume you'll be going to school full-time so do you plan on working part-time?
What is the solution if they refuse me to go?
Are you serious? LOL! You're 24....not a child. It would be nice to have your parents blessing when moving out but it's not like they can actually prevent you from leaving. Like Reha said, instead of complaining about your life, do something to make it better! And since you know your own family.....only you can decide the best course of action. If you have goals of your own and you're set on achieving them, then the ONLY person who can stop you is YOU.
Re: I want to move out from parents house! (24yr old girl)
Are you serious? LOL! You're 24....not a child.
I agree with your comments, but you also know that there are 40-year-olds out there who still behave like kids when confronted with their parents. They exist. Really!
Re: I want to move out from parents house! (24yr old girl)
Oh yea…I totally agree with you. People like that exist. I just read the first few posts by OP talking about her being so set on being independent, how she’s fed up and “cant survive in this house”…so when I got to the what if mommy/daddy say “no” part… I was just amused.
Re: I want to move out from parents house! (24yr old girl)
pardon me for being bit conservative here but are you sure a 24 years old girl can survive in this society alone in another city? i am afraid.. well, Allah sab behtar karega insha Allah.
Re: I want to move out from parents house! (24yr old girl)
People, stop being rude to her. It is not easy to just up and leave, especially when it means hurting the parents.
BSB, your parents would never support any of your plans unless they are practical. It is never practical to run off and start renting without a proper and secure job and savings to fall back on if anything happens. I know someone who got laid off last week. He came in to work on Friday morning and was told that he could go home. No notice given. Things like this do happen. If you haven't got a good plan you'll just end up back at your parents place. You need to live with them and save until you are financially stable enough to move out on your own. That way your parents would be at peace knowing that you'll be able to handle things on your own.
As for your brother's taunts - in one ear and out the other. You are not living at HIS house, or eating food HE paid for. Your parents are the ones supporting you so simply ignore him. In fact if you simply smile and walk away whenever he taunts it will drive him nuts.
Re: I want to move out from parents house! (24yr old girl)
I think its a good idea to move out of your house to do your masters (especially since you've already gotten in to the school)...it'll give you a break...sometimes we all need a break..and most masters are a year or two long...perhaps once ur gone ur family will miss you and realize how important u were to the household a little bit more...and there's no harm in living an independent fun life with no responsibilities for awhile...go dorm, make some frnds, live independently...enjoy some peace...really...moving out for a little bit especially for school should be no big deal! grls do it all the time even in pakistan and ur in the US...comeon be brave, and go get ur masters degree...ur not doing anything wrong or unislamic....parents just wana control u like there's no tomorrow.
I was just amused.
