My parents and brother have just come back from Hajj all clean and pure from sins with a purpose in life, they all look so calm, spiritualised and at peace with everything and here’s me I feel so filthy, I have no sense of direction, nothing to refer to for moral and spiritual guidance, I feel ****ed and so depressed, I left Islam a while back and decided hedonism was my only purpose in life (knowing what I was doing was wrong), I resorted to getting wasted on crack and alcohol and just ‘doing it’ with any ****er who’s willing. But it just doesn’t feel right, I feel like the scum of the earth, I want all that to change now and need your prayers. Wish me luck.
It’s ALLAh’s love for u that He:swt: guided you to the right path… Keep your faith up brother…
True that Hajj with correct intentions makes one Pure and sinless like a new born yet that is not the only medium to get to such status…
Allah says in Quran:
39:53 Say: "O my Servants who have transgressed against their souls! Despair not of the Mercy of Allah. for Allah forgives all sins: for He is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful.
–Az-Zumar (The Groups)
May Allah :swt: guide you, Ameen…
Islam is excellent medicine for a broken spirit, pk taz, I've been there on march 14 th, it will be one year since I came out off rehab, during this time I've reflected upon where my life was taking me, so for an answer,I started looking into my religion, reading books and al-Quran and praying Namaaz, I have much to learn,however for the first time in my life, finally I am at peace.
Re: I want to be a Muslim again…
[QUOTE]
Originally posted by pk taz: *
My parents and brother have just come back from Hajj all clean and pure from sins with a purpose in life, they all look so calm, spiritualised and at peace with everything and here’s me I feel so filthy, I have no sense of direction, nothing to refer to for moral and spiritual guidance, I feel *ed and so depressed, I left Islam a while back and decided hedonism was my only purpose in life (knowing what I was doing was wrong), I resorted to getting wasted on crack and alcohol and just ‘doing it’ with any **er who’s willing. But it just doesn’t feel right, I feel like the scum of the earth, I want all that to change now and need your prayers. Wish me luck.
[/QUOTE]
O ki gaal hai ! Tu we khush ho lay, hajj chalaa ja!
Well, u sayin all that shows that u ALLAH swt has given u guidance.. jus hold onto it.. an its never too late...
Brother it is ALLAh subha na wa taala ihsan on u that HE has again shown u the right path…these things happen to common muslims…some time they feel to break free from all prohibitions and do what ever they want…but after some time one realizes that it is only in islam where one can get peace of mind…Hadrat fazail bin ayadh was a famous tabaayee(student of sahbah)…before he repented he was a thief…
Try to remian firm on ur new and right decision…u will feel peace at heart…
Try to go to umrah …when u feel like going there…it will be of much help…
As Imam ghazali has said …Those who have the tendency of doing bigger sins …also have the tendency of doing bigger deeds
Dont feel dishearted…just repent and …keep praying and asking ALLAH’s help…
Remember us in ur duas…
Pk Taz May Allah guide you to the right path 
Bao bhai please excuse my ignorance, yeh Imam ghazali kon hain?
Thanks, I broke the SIM card and msn address I had for my dodgy contacts and we’ll be moving abroad soon so I’m looking forward to a new decent life…
I'm really very happy for you Pk_Taz :) May Allah always guide you. Best wishes.
good 4 u tazza , all the best :k:
peace
Re: I want to be a Muslim again…
[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by pk taz: *
My parents and brother have just come back from Hajj
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Never understood how people (parents, etc..) go off to Hajj with their own children in such a misguided state. I think guiding your children and being right by their side to bring them back to islam is the more important and bigger first 'hajj'.
Just my opinion...
Good luck to you PK Taz...
Thanks for replying people. Strongman my parents didn’t know about what I get up to...
there was a hadith i read about a man who commited many sins and killed 99 people, he felt guilty and very bad about his life so he went to see a poius man.
when he asked the poius man if there was anything he could do to be forgiven, the pious man told him No that there was nothing.
he was angered by his reply so he killed him too.
soon after wards he felt bad again and felt a yearning to be forgiven and to start anew, he found another pious man and told him of his predicament
the advice the man gave was to move away to a new place, to start a better life in a place with better people and to leave behind everything of his evil past
the man did as he was told, he packed and set out for this new settlement, but he died just as he set out for it
when the angels came for his soul, the angels of hell said they wanted to take him because he had killed 100 people, the angels of heavan argued that he had set out to start a new life void of sins
so Allah (swa) asked them to measure the distance of how far the man had travelled to the new city, if he was closer he would go to heavan if he was further he would go to hell
the man was actually further away from the city, but Allah (swa) brought it closer to him out of his mercy so he could go to paradise and so he was forgiven all of his sins
inshaAllah if you start over ina new place with better people inshaAllah ALlah will forgive you, our prayers are with you
May Allah help u in each & ever way, ameen.
& ameen 2 all the above duas.
This reminds me of 2 stoies, I'll find then & post here , again, inshaAllah:)
I believe there is a hadees Qudsi in which Allah says 'if you come to me with sins the size of the earth and seek sincere repentence, I shall forgive you'
Pk Taz, thank you for sharing here, your story gave me hope.
I said a dua for you, I hope you find peace inshallah.
Wishing you all the best
Re: Re: I want to be a Muslim again…
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*Originally posted by STRONGMAN: *
Never understood how people (parents, etc..) go off to Hajj with their own children in such a misguided state.
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you know u are right but if u look at it, i beleive they had such a pure intention and love that ALLAH guided their child:) for guidance is only in the hands of ALLAH... right? :)
Wish you all the best pk taz
:)
Wish you all the best. May Allah swt guide you and all of us towards the right path Ameen