I wanna marry this girl...

Lifestyle Relationships
1

Salaam.
I am in love with this girl, but she is not a pakistani, but she converted to Islam a few years ago.. But she is also from Asia. I wanna marry her, she learned Islam through many friends, and she is more practicing than many other girls I know. She is sweet, gentle and caring, and perfect. I think my family will be ok about her, but I am not sure about my relatives. She is the one who made me realize how powerful Allah is, because she never knew Islam before, and Allah guided her and now she is a strong Muslim.. Only Allah can do that.

Her friends also told me she was the inspiration to them, and looking at her made them start praying for those who haven’t prayed regulary before. And in Islam, there is nothing wrong in marrying her, Allah created us in many different races so that we can learn each other, and I read marrying out of your race will spread Islam more as a result, and I read it is recommended too.

But some people believe in culture more than in Islam, which is bad, and might be against this marriage. But I don’t wanna lose her.
What would you do if you were me? I met her at my work, and she has been a Muslim for 4 years. She doesn’t mix with guys at all, and cares about others a lot. She wears hijab, very modest, never curse… warm..

But all those relatives might react very bad if I say I wanna marry her. But to me, as long as Allah says it’s ok, why do we have to create some cultural invention to go against Him? To me, that kind of marriage will go to ashtray in the end.

again, she is a strong Muslim, she doesn’t give up on her parents, and they are now even reading some books on Islam, and learning about Allah, because she kept guiding them. I don’t know how many girls these days can do that after they treated her badly for a few years after her conversion.

I don’t wanna lose her. I vomit if she was gonna marry someone else and live her life with another guy.

anyone went through the similar situations?

ok, I gotta go.
salaam, guys.
ali

2

so marry her already you moron!?

What exactly is your problem?

Who's approval is more important.. ?

Allah's or your relatives?

3

^ Ditto to what he said. You're the one that's gonna be spending the rest of his life with her, not your relatives (unless ur a Mirpuri from Small Heath ;) )!

4

There shouldn't really be anything stopping you. People will probably still talk even if you married someone of the same ethnicity. If you parents accept her, that is fantastic. Even if they don't, if you are willing to stand by her and she is as great as you claim she is ... then there really should not be anything stopping you. At least she's a good person, is Muslim and you are compatible. That is all that should really matter. Sod the relatives if they are unhappy.

5

I personally think that parent's permission is equally important. In the end, people suffer when they don’t give importance to parent's decisions (As far as they are not wrong Islamically).

So try to convince your parents first.

6

Grow some balls and take a stand mate :)

7

MashAllah. Marry her. She sounds great.

Mindless is right tho. Parents' input is important. They are probably concerned about cultural differences. If you realize there might be problems and that you will both need to be patient and commited, inshAllah you will be fine. Hope for the best for both of you.

InshAllah, your friends and families will come to terms with the match and realize what a good decision you made.

8

I think you should marry her...Allah will make things easier for both of you. InshALLAH!

PS.
I agree with Mindless & Sahar.

9

she sounds so nice! mashaAllah :flower1:

if your parents will be okay with her (and of course there’ll be a little static, its expected) and its just ure relatives that have a problem forget abt them :k:

with time and a character like her’s they’l come round for sure :slight_smile: inshaAllah

and really, i hope everything works out for you inshaALlah :flower1:

10

[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by MehnazQ: *
People will probably still talk even if you married someone of the same ethnicity.

[/QUOTE]

Yeah, that's so really true. I never thought about that..

11

Marry her...She seems like she's on the straight path.

Also sounds like she has deen and duniya both.

12

Getting married through active involvement and consent of parents is recommended...Its better to work on that and wait a year or more than to do it and suffer for the rest of ur life. The hauntings wud never leave u in peace if us just give a damn to parental consent.

13

Yeah, I will never say "I won't give a damn to what my parents say".. I knew better than that.
And I have been stupid enough to realize the value of something very important to me after I lost it for my entire life till this day,,, and it was always too late when realized what I let it go to avoid some immediate fears or troubles.. but I can't afford to make the same mistake again..
As a mature man, I think once or twice in my life, I have to really stand up for something, and I believe this is one of those cases... Also, if I just let her go, I am sure she will think me as an irresponsible man who can not stand up for anything... like a little boy,, and it's gonna be her final image of me for life when I actually love her so much, and she's gonna end up being with someone else, which kills me...

but more than anything, she is a good gentle warm girl with morals, she is very important, she deserves to be happy, and I wanna make her happy and protect her, and I believe I am the one who can do that....

I really gotta talk to them about her.
Like Xara said, I think they will come around in the end, because of how she is...

thanks for your opinions,,,, Reading them teaches me a lot.

salaam.
ali

14

Yeah, marry her.
I have this story I can tell ya!
My friend (guy) was in the similar situation like yours, and he ended up letting her go, and got married with a girl his family chose for him.. and it was 6 years ago, but still till this day, he tells me that it was the biggest mistake he made in his life.
He seemed to be having a happy marriage from the third person's eye, but he tells his friends that he misses this girl every day and night, and his life is not the same anymore...

He knew this girl (the one he let go) for a quite long time, and they knew that they were compatible, and he realized that the compatibleness they built up for years was something irreplaceable, and I even feel so bad for him, because this girl will never be back to him anymore.

So, brother ali, stick to the girl you love and talk to your family now!!
In shah Allah, everything will work out for you. :)

Mashah Allah,, the sister sounds really nice..

As salaam alekum.
farrah

15

[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by ali30: *
thanks for your opinions,,,, Reading them teaches me a lot
[/QUOTE]

If I start dating that girl...it would teach you a lot more...apni bhabhi ka number do shabash jaldi say...
How is that for motivation :-D

16

good luck.

17

your a really nice person Ali :slight_smile: inshaALlah everything will be okay for you, just remember patience and perserverance :flower1: if you need anything pm me :wave:

18

Have you proposed to the girl yet??

You only have to worry (and convince) about what your parents will say. Forget what everyone else thinks, lifes to short to worry about what people might say. As long as you do the right thing, dont worry.

Inshallah it will work out for you.

19

Just a question to all those who say he should take a stand. How many of you would disobey your parents that have cared for you all your life for a man or woman you choose to marry?

Yeah i thought so.

20

,