I was talking to this good friend of mine today. I am so disturbed by her comment on her marriage…
She went nia I have everything from where you are standing or anyone else but as close as you get to me there is nothing in my marriage.
She said:
I am very happy he is the best husband one girl can possibly want. He takes care of me and our daughter. But you know nia I cannot have a conversation with me for no more than 5 mins.
I want him to talk to me tell me what he wants let us od things together. But slowly and slowly we do live our own lives…
I know he loves me and I have fallen in love with the way he is but you know I still miss -------the other one every now and then and i do wonder how things could have been.
Ouch I wasn’t expecting a married woman to say this. She has been married for over 4 yrs at this point. It scars me…..
Re: "I still miss the first one- every now and then!"
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have fallen in love with the way he is
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maybe i'm wrong, but the way she says it, I understand she does not love him....cause she loves only "the way he is" not HIM.
Did she had arranged marriage?
Re: "I still miss the first one- every now and then!"
I think it is the men that derive women in that direction! If the husband gave her love and attention....she would never be comparing him with her past or thinking about the other guy. Although, i don't think she is doing the right thing but that is what most women do when they are not happy intheir marriage. Some do it openly...and some just do it in their heads.
It is sad but i have seen it happen more than once! Women outright tell you how they wished they were married to so and so and how their lives would be much different and content.
Re: "I still miss the first one- every now and then!"
he knew she was i love with another man... he was even willing to let her go even after marriage for her happiness...
but that man walked out on her... was a total jerk....
I would never ever want to be with someone and few years down the line i have this thought going through my head.. what if things could have worked with someone else... its scares me
Re: "I still miss the first one- every now and then!"
nia -if the first guy left her anyway....how can she even think things would have been better with him....like you said he was a jerk for leaving...
I can understand if a girl and guy love each other and they are FORCED apart for some reason and still love each other.....thats a diffferent story. but in this case he left her and was a complete jerk....how can she even think of him? it doesnt make any sense.
Re: "I still miss the first one- every now and then!"
abey yar i am serious here ....
she is empty from inside.. its scary...she cant seem to have a intellectual conversation with him..
this is reminding us we must be carefull before choosing a life partner, good look and money are nice at first, but after some years, as this is the case for your friend, communication is the most important. I guess a husband must be a best friend ...
Re: "I still miss the first one- every now and then!"
abey yar i am serious here ....
she is empty from inside.. its scary...she cant seem to have a intellectual conversation with him..
May be that's why he doesn't want to to talk to her anymore. She prolly bores the crap out of him.
More Schopenhaeur on women:
...Neither for music, nor poetry, nor the plastic arts do they [women] possess any real feeling or receptivity: if they affect to do so, it is merely mimicry in service of their effort to please. This comes from the fact that they are incapable of taking a purely objective interest in anything whatever, and the reason for this is, I think, as follows. Man strives in everything for a direct domination over things, either by comprehending or by subduing them. But woman is everywhere and always relegated to a merely indirect domination, which is achieved by means of man, who is consequently the only thing she has to dominate directly. Thus it lies in the nature of women to regard everything simply as a means of capturing a man, and their interest in anything else is only simulated, is no more than a detour, i.e. amounts to coquetry and mimicry.
Re: "I still miss the first one- every now and then!"
More Schopenhaeur on women:
...Neither for music, nor poetry, nor the plastic arts do they [women] possess any real feeling or receptivity: if they affect to do so, it is merely mimicry in service of their effort to please. This comes from the fact that they are incapable of taking a purely objective interest in anything whatever, and the reason for this is, I think, as follows. Man strives in everything for a direct domination over things, either by comprehending or by subduing them. But woman is everywhere and always relegated to a merely indirect domination, which is achieved by means of man, who is consequently the only thing she has to dominate directly. Thus it lies in the nature of women to regard everything simply as a means of capturing a man, and their interest in anything else is only simulated, is no more than a detour, i.e. amounts to coquetry and mimicry.
schopenhauer was born in 1788 and died in 1860, so he had no occasion to see active university educated women.
women at the time were socially dominated by men, he is only describing what women WERE at the time, today the situation has changed:Dthough some women are still like that
