Re: i sooooooooooooooo fear infidelity in marriage
Noor, how many years have you lived in NWFP? or even PK? If you had, you wudn’t say this ^^ NWFP on the whole is notorious for snubbing women and not giving them their due rights under the false pretence of religion and culture. Sorry, I have nothing against pathaans, and not all are alike, but ur comment about NWFP was so far from reality, I had to say this.
Re: i sooooooooooooooo fear infidelity in marriage
^I think her comment may have been sarcastic.
Re: i sooooooooooooooo fear infidelity in marriage
So true, that is why we r expected to have a deep respect for mothers...paying bills seems like childs play compared to child birth. There is nothing a child can do to repay that act that his/her mother did for him/her.:)
Re: i sooooooooooooooo fear infidelity in marriage
Well, I am disappointed. I mean I say two honest words and women here are all up in arms, either misquoting me or making personal comments. The topic with hand is why do marriages fail, I believe nowadays girls want to marry their prince charming, who can pay bills, take them out blah….and I believe that’s the reason they fail because women are expecting less for what they deserve. If you want to marry someone for money, you are actually degrading yourself. That is what I think and it is majority in every society, I am not saying all girls are like that but majority….
Now, what do I mean by my second paragraph? Simple, you need a comfortable atmosphere for husband and wife to produce a new generation of healthy, faithful and virtuous children, you know carry on the name of the family and raising children that are close to faith and with morals. What is so degrading about that for women? Nowadays, a marriage done on basis of love, lust and love…life is very long and you need to think about future. You need cordial friendship for marriage to be successful where both parties expected to pull the weight.
Re: i sooooooooooooooo fear infidelity in marriage
somewhat…
we have on gupshup some “western” desi who make guys look like…they think girls are all money driven, shallow creatures, and far from pure especially if born in the west…
i think these guys are a minority in the west
in reaction to this attitude that depress sara, i recommended her to look for the minority of well educated and open minded pathan from NWFP who have a very high respect for women.
yes it’s true! but there is two side of a coin, on one hand women have less “rights” but on the other they are far more respected and cherished by their families…
In the west we have more “rights” but we are also far more “exposed” to the harshness of life, like striping in clubs to pay uni fees 
and guy who think we are playdolls and not future wifes 
Re: i sooooooooooooooo fear infidelity in marriage
sorry Man with a Plan, you have used bit too harsh words in your first post…this one is far more sensible :k:
ps, girls should not marry! they are toooooooooooooo young and dream of prince charming
only WOMEN should marry! i mean female human beings with good education, strong personality, a life of their own and who feels right in their lives!
BUt I know this is at odds with what most desi aunties believe 
Re: i sooooooooooooooo fear infidelity in marriage
No you don't. Islamic TYPE marriages require immense patience and a deep faith in God.
Re: i sooooooooooooooo fear infidelity in marriage
What r Islamic type marriages, other than having a deep faith in Allah swt.
Re: i sooooooooooooooo fear infidelity in marriage
witch dr.,
please elaborate ur perspectives if u will. what is an Islamic type marriage?
don't we know that marriages are plainly life long commitments, and the 100 % of work to maintain a marriage is based on mutual respect and trust.
what else is needed?
people spend time with each other, discuss the fears and dreams, work toward them as a team of 2, do try to persuade each other with well-reasoned arguments that are operating on deception. the joy in married life, who knows, is what unless, people get married.
so how can marriage be typified? Islamic or any other, marriage between two people is BUT their independent and private matter. all issues related to 2 peoples' marriage are but their business & no one else's'.
culture, religion, extended family all have their own guidelines or no guidelines, as much of what a truly content marriage might be, it has become a victim of modified self-righteousness. domination, intrusion by others are prime factors for the breakdown of a marriage.
people need to have practice in letter, spirit and deed ONLY that what is essential for their own married relationship & the world will be really cruel if it pounces upon the comfort of the couple, merely because it gets the sense of importance by messing with lives of otherwise normal relationship. does this make sense?
*
afridi,
*deep faith in Allah has to do with spirtuality & good luck in life, in all things.
but, in marriages,
after Allah's preordained plans, ultimately it is the couple's
responsibility to either make it work or split in a sec & hit the separate roads, peacefully.
Re: i sooooooooooooooo fear infidelity in marriage
lol marrying western girls is asking for troubles:p ...issiliye merai piyarai bhaiyo kisi seedhi saadhi paindo larki sai shaadi karna .:D ......puri zindagi araam sai ghuzrai gey.:o ..
Re: i sooooooooooooooo fear infidelity in marriage
true :)
Re: i sooooooooooooooo fear infidelity in marriage
Well said Afridi jee - I couldn’t agree more 
Re: i sooooooooooooooo fear infidelity in marriage
Are you getting married?
Re: i sooooooooooooooo fear infidelity in marriage
Now, what do I mean by my second paragraph? Simple, you need a comfortable atmosphere for husband and wife to produce a new generation of healthy, faithful and virtuous children, you know carry on the name of the family and raising children that are close to faith and with morals. What is so degrading about that for women? Nowadays, a marriage done on basis of love, lust and love…life is very long and you need to think about future. You need cordial friendship for marriage to be successful where both parties expected to pull the weight.
Infidelity happens and I agree to your first paragraph somewhat.
You have made some real good points in the secong paragraph......
However, our youth is facing a big problem of confusion since they have opened their eyes in an environment where development of these fears is very normal.
Re: i sooooooooooooooo fear infidelity in marriage
why, how do you look like?
Re: i sooooooooooooooo fear infidelity in marriage
make time for each other…do new things…“try new things” 
and try your best to maintain your looks so that you can grow old together gracefully and not look like a couple of slobs!
most of all…dont push each other away. talk about whats on your mind…keep the lines of communication open.
Re: i sooooooooooooooo fear infidelity in marriage
hussain87
So not fair said…
Bandah bannay ki kosish karey, thnx!
Re: i sooooooooooooooo fear infidelity in marriage
Any man with alternatives, will always justify his reasoning.
Ive seen elder married women flirt with strangers, even in Pakistan.
The less interest a man takes in his wife, after a long while, she will
repay his lack of interest in her, by flirting. Some have affairs, because they
have a overseas marriage going on.
Times have changed, only God fearing people sense it is a crime to betray each others trust. Zinaii men will end up with cheap women as their mates, perhaps even without KNOWING it. Its their "luck".
I stopped believing in the institution of marriage. Its always so crowded.
Re: i sooooooooooooooo fear infidelity in marriage
No at that time I was not engaged or getting married, so yes it was somewhat depressing to hear that.
But what Sahar said is absolutely right, marriage in an abstract sense is alot scarier, but when you meet someone, and actually get into it, its not so scary anymore. I think the same goes for alot of things, they seem scarier than they actually are.
Re: i sooooooooooooooo fear infidelity in marriage
This thread ought to be re-titled, I soooooo fear nothing, but My Last Breath. 