when and if people get married, my greatest fear in marriage is the spouses breaking each others’ trust.
what are some of the ways in which, without annoying each other, one can prevent infidelity?
i am shocked to know about, so labeled - ‘open marriages.’
really, if we look at the issues, youth does not stay forever and both parties will be embarrassed of their actions, there is no solid family back ground ever created. people remain lonelier than ever, so what is it worth?
any thoughts?
Re: i sooooooooooooooo fear infidelity in marriage
Probably open communication. Make each other feel comfortable enough to talk about anything.
Re: i sooooooooooooooo fear infidelity in marriage
I think I would've been afraid of all of this stuff if I thought of "marriage" and "husband" as something abstract. But once you know and trust a person, things change. It's about a genuine commitment between you two.
There can be infidelity, but there doesn't have to be as long as you are open and honest and work hard to keep the relationship going.
Re: i sooooooooooooooo fear infidelity in marriage
^ ICAM. It really comes down to trust. However, you shouldn't just become complacent and "let yourself go" once you are married. My grandmother always told me that there was no need for a man to go out for dinner when he had steak at home, if you get my drift.
Keep an open communication with your husband, stay interesting and interested in him, and dress nicely. It goes without saying that you shouldn't be wearing and old salwar kameez or sweats every night when he comes home. Talk to him about his day, have a date night every other week or so, and treat him nicely. Marriage should be work, like any other relationship.
Re: i sooooooooooooooo fear infidelity in marriage
Victoria’s Secret:faizy:
Re: i sooooooooooooooo fear infidelity in marriage
Re: i sooooooooooooooo fear infidelity in marriage
Marriages fail because women treat is as a deal. Nowadays, women want a 'suggar dady' who will pay for their shopping expenses and deal with their 'open mindness' and at the same time has to remain 'good' otherwise dam to him. What will that guy in return? He'll get, you know.... well be reasonable and think, if a guy is willing spend money for shopping and be a suggar daddy, what girl won't wanna piece of him.
You need to go back to the basics, which is arrange and family marriages where the main reason of marriage is to further the legacy of name and heritage of a family and to preserve it and where both parties are pulling the weight. Superficail (sp?) things are not in play and family comes first. A guy only marries a girl to further his legacy and children, not for love, passion or sex.....get over it. He can get it anywhere he wants...its too easy these days.
Re: i sooooooooooooooo fear infidelity in marriage
^ i dont tihkn thats wat all women want
and to sum ppl marriage means a lot moree
Re: i sooooooooooooooo fear infidelity in marriage
That’s depressing 
Re: i sooooooooooooooo fear infidelity in marriage
very honestly described...this abnoxiously demeaning thinking reflects the actual trend in the lives of which many young men have and therefore, they deserve a lonely life, a burdened soul, a tainted conscience, and an HIV-gifted body.
You need to go back to the basics, which is arrange and family marriages where the main reason of marriage is to further the legacy of name and heritage of a family and to preserve it and where both parties are pulling the weight. Superficail (sp?) things are not in play and family comes first. A guy only marries a girl to further his legacy and children, not for love, passion or sex.....get over it. He can get it anywhere he wants...its too easy these days.
Re: i sooooooooooooooo fear infidelity in marriage
Those three don’t mix and are very extreme to the actual reality. HIV is a result of unprotected sex not a lonely life. Also, can be spread via other means.
Girls need to get over this Cosmopolitan/ Sex and the City life. Its a fantasy…
Re: i sooooooooooooooo fear infidelity in marriage
Truth! :k:
Re: i sooooooooooooooo fear infidelity in marriage
lol…you are so unromantic, how many bi$$tch have you met ? i’m sorry for you so many ladies made you think bad about women…you know there are also good ladies out there
o wait you care only about look, not what’s in their heart?
Re: i sooooooooooooooo fear infidelity in marriage
sara don’t get too depressed…come to NWFP:D there are nice real men there:halo:
Re: i sooooooooooooooo fear infidelity in marriage
Sara don't get depressed. There are amazing guys out there who actually will love you for you, don't you see as a baby producing machine and cheating is incomprehensible to them. The ones who think like the views described on this board believe all men to think the same way because they themselves do. It's not true. Just be selective when you pick : )
Re: i sooooooooooooooo fear infidelity in marriage
thanks for this comment, Solar.
I hope u are who u say u are, do mean as u wrote and then, may u
be able to tell other men to change their view as well.
thanks,
best
DUSH
Re: i sooooooooooooooo fear infidelity in marriage
Not every guy is a shallow jerk. Many guys are not comfortable sleeping around with just any woman they don’t love.
Re: i sooooooooooooooo fear infidelity in marriage
Assalamu Alaykum.
I think the best way to prevent this is to "stay clean before marriage". I think men appreciate that a lot. To know that one woman has waited all her life just for him and saved herself from the other men shows just how grateful he should be to her and how much he needs to be loyal to her. That does not mean that the women who stay pure before marraige get all saint husbands. In real life things are bound to go wrong. I think it's important also to "choose the correct husband". Meaning, after getting a proposal, a girl or a guy should check their partner's background. He/she shold talk to the people who know the person they're getting married to such as friends, family, and even neighbors. The more you know the details of your partner's characteristics the better off you are.
Re: i sooooooooooooooo fear infidelity in marriage
You need to go back to the basics, which is arrange and family marriages where the main reason of marriage is to further the legacy of name and heritage of a family and to preserve it and where both parties are pulling the weight. Superficail (sp?) things are not in play and family comes first. A guy only marries a girl to further his legacy and children, not for love, passion or sex.....get over it. He can get it anywhere he wants...its too easy these days.
No thanks, I prefer the Islamic type of marriage. The one that has nothing to do with legacy of name, but rather goodness of spirit and actions. Some love is needed, and love does not mean the same thing as lust. And actually, if a female is putting in the effort of birthing and rearing, which a man simply cannot match up with even 20 million diamonds, then I don't think its too much to ask of a guy that hey - YOU pay the bills. And you know what's really cool? Allah agrees with me.
Re: i sooooooooooooooo fear infidelity in marriage
Quote"I think the best way to prevent this is to "stay clean before marriage""
I agree there nasima but what is important is LOVE+RESPECT. If they are
missing forget it. STATs are 70% of men cheat on their wives yes 70 % and
40-% of women cheat on their men or have flings with other men.
what is the right order we all need.
Love will give in to
=Respect
=thru communication
=make Committments
=will come trust
=then understanding
=then we make promise of a life
=promise to share dreams
=promise to marry till death
In my case it was nothing but ex-boyfriends calling - gupshup - breakup because she did not have a clean past. I accepted
it because I was divorced so I let itslide. You are right both
of you Nassima and Man with a Plan - One has to examin
the family background - their past history is very important &
the worst thing for INFIDELITY make sure she committs to
you to marriage to love. The best test one can do is this.
if they can be your friend for few months w/o a fight theycan
be your spouse for life - guaranteed -