I see this as a lack of self respect

Lifestyle Relationships
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Re: I see this as a lack of self respect

I am disappointed with what's going on and what I am reading these days.

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Re: I see this as a lack of self respect

^ To OldBoy and the other guys:

I honestly think the attitude of the OP is an exception and not the rule despite how many threads we read posted with similar ideas. Most women, jin kai dil mai thoRi si bhi insaaniyat ya khuloos hai, would NEVER treat another person like the OP describes, let alone their own MIL.

No one has a perfect relationship with their in-laws, with their own parents, with their siblings, spouse or their child. But we only read the negative stuff online, because the stories about happy families are "boring."

To the OP, Allah aap ko hidayat dai aur aap kai dil mai apni saas kai liyay mohabat aur izzat ka jazba paida karay.

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Re: I see this as a lack of self respect

rolling eyes

:hehe: Chor kee darhee main tinka

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Re: I see this as a lack of self respect

Not to derail the thread but some of the responses got be curious.
So if the MIL is not your husbands’ birth mother, a step mum who did not carry him for 9 months and yada yada yada.....what is the stature of MIL in such scenario? A DIL can get upset with a MIL for staying longer if she is not the birthing mother??

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Re: I see this as a lack of self respect

A step mother who raised the kid well deserves even more respect cause she raised even though the biological bond was not there.

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Re: I see this as a lack of self respect

Look you guys it's simple.. a mother is a mother.. Mother's heart beats for her kids at all times in happiness and sadness.. when the child is sick the mother nurtures the child and spends sleepless nights caring for the child.. If the time comes when it's her son's or daughter's turn to care for her for 1/10 of what she has provided to them at her young years then I think the kids are lucky to have been able to do so.. and i am not going to take that away from my hubby!

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Re: I see this as a lack of self respect

I say we punish Ajuba for doing sachchi sachchi baatain and change her nick to Saasu jee ke nokarani

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Re: I see this as a lack of self respect

Im not sure what to say to that post! parents have the first right ! regardless of being married or not. once one gets married you have to find a balance, a way of maintaing harmony and that comes if both husband and wife have a understanding.

I am married and always told my husband , that we have are own parents but we should and must always encourage each other to do what we can for our parents. His parents are his responsibilty and as a wife i must encourage him to fulfill his responsibilty properly, that is to show them love, respect, take care of them and be there for them. We will all be mothers one day Inshallah , imagine if you wanted to see your child or move in with your child in your old age and all you got was a cold shoulder! Karma what goes round comes round.

Children and Elders are a blessing in disguise and i feel sorry for people who are so self absorbed that they cant appretiate this blessing.

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Re: I see this as a lack of self respect

I see this post as a sign of deep seated insecurity and nothing else.

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Re: I see this as a lack of self respect

quote=TLK;7763230]A step mother who raised the kid well deserves even more respect cause she raised even though the biological bond was not there.
[/quote]

But that would nullify the resons for respect that people are using in their arguments for MIL.

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Re: I see this as a lack of self respect

Aap nay aisa kyun kaha? Na meri koi saas, na merey chehray pay darhee, to kahan ka chor aur kahan ka tinka?

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Re: I see this as a lack of self respect

please add to this , na maine kabhee jharoo laga'i so thinka kahan se aa gayaa ..

I was just commenting in jest but looking at the number of MIL related threads (as you also mentioned) .. its hard to believe your claim that attitude of OP is an exception.

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Re: I see this as a lack of self respect

i'm not gonna bash ajuba this time as i already did in her previous thread. i think u should discuss this matter with ur hubby. it should be a mutual decision. also u should make a list that y u don't want her there, y u can't tolerate her. then read that list everyday. slowly u'll realize those things aren't that big. from my pov unless a mil creates differences b/w a couple, encourage abuse, do jado tona etc nothing is too serious and she should be treated with respect like any other guest or family member. i'm not sure wat all ur issues are with her but unless u discuss them we can't advice u.

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Re: I see this as a lack of self respect

Unless your MIL has treated you badly or given you hell or takes pleasure in taane-baazi etc, I see no reason why you should have such an extreme attitude about her. If your loss of privacy is the only reason for your attitude, then such extreme views are very disturbing. It's time for some introspection.

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Re: I see this as a lack of self respect

wowsa at the hatred lady! .... where is your compassion?

If you care for your husband, how can you not care for his mother .... she made him the man he is.

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Re: I see this as a lack of self respect

I wouldn't mind it, bur mashAllah we have a good relationship.

If they live far away, it's understandable.

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Re: I see this as a lack of self respect

Agree

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Re: I see this as a lack of self respect

Agree

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Re: I see this as a lack of self respect

Agree but do also agree with ajuba regarding the bit she wrote at the end about how wives' mothers don't like to stay with them for fear of upsetting the husband. If a DIL has her husband's mother coming to stay her own mother should be welcome as well. Also, both sets of inlaws should not interfere in the day to day running of the household or act in an unreasonable way, be overly critical of the DIL, expect her get up in the middle of the night to cook for them etc. Respect is a two-way thing..

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Re: I see this as a lack of self respect

It’s amazing to see how women switch sides from thread to thread. Most of other threads on MILs show that MILs are the least wanted and most hated relatives for these women. And in threads like these, they backtrack.

To the OP: To make it easy for ur husband to decide, why don’t u just kick the MIL out of the house? If your husband needs u more than his mom, he will let it happen. If not, then he will kick u out and solve everyone’s problem :hehe: