I said no to marriage with my cousin - and getting emotional blackmail....

[saimab33]

re: I said no to marriage with my cousin - and getting emotional blackmail…

@CEO1

You’re 28 which is rather late for a woman not to be married by desi standards but more importantly haven’t you found someone yourself?
I can see they’re concerned by the fact you’re not getting any younger but as you said there is no point getting into a loveless marriage.

The best people to ask about potentials could be friends who are already married? They might know someone or even your own siblings?

Ok, I really dont think your advice or comments are very helpful. In this day and age, 28 is not old. She is educated, and will inshAllah start working in her own field soon. That is more than can be said about this cousin of hers.

PinkOrchids, my cousin went through this exact ordeal, but she did not have the courage like you to stand up to her parents. The guy was her chacha’s son (her chacha passed away, and that is when her chachi started telling her parents that she wanted her son to marry their daughter, for her husbands sake - even though everyone knew it was for a visa). They had their nikkah done over the phone, but my cousin stalled the visa process until her dad forced her to get all the paperwork in order. 3 years after their nikkah, the guy got his visa and came, and they had their rukhsati. My cousin still didnt say anything. She lived with this guy for 4 months, and at the end she was so depressed, and couldnt handle it, she ended up running away from home. Her parents finally listened to her after that…

Im not saying run away…cause thats not a good idea. But stick up for yourself, and stand up for yourself. Be strong, and dont go to Pakistan…cause even if the guy and his family know that you dont want to marry him, when it comes to a visa, no one cares. Thats exactly what happened to my cousin. He didnt want to marry her either, but he did it for the visa.