I said no to marriage with my cousin - and getting emotional blackmail....

PakWoman · February 18, 2011, 4:28pm

re: I said no to marriage with my cousin - and getting emotional blackmail…

Well, one of the reasons the parents get so angry and start talking about their “izzat” is they expect thier children to repsect their decisions and it is pretty hurtful for any parent to think that their child thinks the choice they are making for them is not good. They can accept the girl to say “no” to a few rishtas but saying “no” to every single one that they propose is really insulting for some parents. The parents aren’t really trying to harm their children, are they?. One of the big problems is that girls start looking down on everyone living in Pakistan and would not consider any rishta from Pakistan, even though they are brought up in the same culture. It is the right of girls to refuse abusive marriages like the sad story chameli420 told, but it also important to be a little humble and respect the choice of your parents. Your parents most likely had an arranged marriage, set up by their parents , didn’t they?. Looking at it now, do you not agree that it was a good decision made by your grand parents?. Give your parents the benefit of having more experience to make decisions about your life, feel free to debate those decisions, but do not forget your cultural heritage and values and who you are, not superior or inferior to anyone living in Pakistan or abroad.

Lets not forget, that many times… what parents choose for you can lead you to living a life of hell, we get many such cases on GS, don’t we? The parents definitely are experienced and all, but they should not forget that their child will be the one who will be directly effected. To make decisions without discussing it with your child, not keeping their likeness or preference in mind will always cause such complications.

PS: this has nothing to do with disrespecting your parents… one should always respect their parents and give them immense love, but that also doesn’t mean let them single-handedly make the most important decisions of your life.