I read it and laughed, then i cried, then i laughed

[X2]

laughed because it was funny, cried because there are characters around of which this punk is a caricature of, and then laughed again because its good that we can address this stuff in such a manner.

NAKED LUNCH: Blow Daddy -DAWN Images; January 04, 2009

By Nadeem F. Paracha
Daddy?

Yes, son.

Are we going to have a war with India?

Perhaps.

Oh, goody. We will thrash them, right? Like we did in 1857!

It wasn’t in 1857, son.

Oh, okay. But whom did we thrash in 1857?

The British, son…

And the Hindus too, right?

Well…

Did Quaid-i-Azam fight in that war along with Muhammad bin Qasim and Imran Khan?

No, son. The Quaid and Imran were born much later and Muhammad bin Qasim died many years before.

Then who ruled Pakistan in those days?

There was no Pakistan in those days, son.

But there was always a Pakistan! It has been there for 5,000 years!

Who have you been talking to, son?

No one. I’ve just been watching TV.

It figures.

Daddy, why are all these people against us Arabs?

Arabs? But we aren’t Arabs, son.

Of course we are because our ancestors were Arabs!

No, son. Our ancestors were of the subcontinental stock.

Sub-what?

Never mind.You seem to like wars, son.

Yes. I like to watch them on TV.

But real wars are fought outside the TV, son.

Really? How is that possible? What sort of a war is that?

Never mind.

Daddy, you look worried.

Of course, I am, you little warmongering punk!

Daddy! Why are you scolding me?

Because TV is talking rot and so are you!

Daddy, are you supporting Hindus?

No!

Daddy, have you become a kafir?

Keep quiet! No more TV for you! Go watch a movie on DVD or listen to a CD.

Can’t do that.

But we have so many DVDs and CDs, son.

Not any more.

What do you mean?

I burned them all.

What?!

I burned them all.

I heard that! But why?

They spread obscenity.

Oh, God. Son, go do your homework. What happened to that science project you were working on?

It’s almost complete.

Good boy. What are you making?

A bomb.

What?!

A bomb.

I heard that! But why?

Because I am a true Muslim who hates America.

But only last week you wanted to go to Disney Land.

That’s different.

How come?

Mickey Mouse is Muslim.

No, he isn’t.

Is so. He converted when he heard azaan on the moon.

On the moon?

Yes. Because the earth is flat and…

What??

The earth is…

I heard that!

Daddy, do you want to see my science project, or not?

Gosh, that bomb? But your science teacher will fail you.

No, she wont.

Really?

Yes. I plan to blow her up as well.

God, what is wrong with you? Go call your mother!

She can’t come.

Why not?

I’ve locked her in the kitchen.

But what for?

A woman’s place is in the kitchen. I will not let her out until she covers herself up peoperly!

But she’s your mother!

She’s also a woman!

So?

So she should be hidden.

Hidden from whom?

The whole world and Tony.

Tony?

Yes, Tony.

But Tony’s a cat.

Yes. But he’s male.

Son, have you gone mad?

No. By the way, I’ve made sure Kitto starts covering up as well.

Kitto?

Yes, Kittto.

But Kitto’s a cat!

Yes. But a female cat.

But she’ll suffocate.

Oh, she’s already dead.

What?

She’s already dead.

I heard that! But how?

I buried her alive.

You what?

Yes. To avenge Tony’s honour. But now I will behead Tony.

But why?

To save mom’s honour!

Oh, God!

Don’t say that. Always say Allah.

What’s the difference?

Daddy, do you want to be beheaded too?

No!

Do you want to be stoned to death?

No!

Do you want to be flogged?

No!

Do you want to get your arms chopped off?

No!

Then stop asking silly questions. By the way, I won’t call you daddy anymore.

What will you call me then?

Whatever that is Arabic for daddy.

I don’t know any Arabic, son.

That’s because you are a kafir.

Who the heck are you to tell me who I am, you little fascist twit!

What’s a fascist?

An irrational, violent, self-righteous mad man!

W… aaaaaaa…

Why are you crying?

You scolded me.

Okay, I’m sorry. You have to be tolerant and rational, son. Now be a good boy and go read a book instead of watching TV.

I have no books.

Of course, you do. I bought you so many books.

I burned them.

What?

I burned them.

But why?

They were all in English.

So?

It’s a non-Muslim language!

But we are speaking English, aren’t we?

W… aaaaaaa…

What now?

Zionists made me forget my Arabic.

But you never knew any Arabic, son.

W… aaaa… yes, I did until you and mommy gave me the polio drops… aaaaa…

Okay, tell me, can you do me a favour?

Sure, dad.

Can you blow up something for me?

Oh, goody! Of course, dad. What should I blow? A CD shop, a hotel, a school…?

No, no, something a lot more sinister.

Mom?

No, no…

What then?

The TV set!

What?

Blow the TV set.

I heard that! But why?

Just do it!

I see. Dad?

Yes.

You’re so unconstitutional!

[firenze]

Re: I read it and laughed, then i cried, then i laughed

^^ Pir sahab it was posted in Jokes forum yesterday but later moved to review forum.. some members found it offensive… but i wonder why ..

[X2]

Re: I read it and laughed, then i cried, then i laughed

Jokes is not the right place for it, so on grounds that this is not just a joke, I am fine with that being moved from there.

In my case, I was not sure what would be the right place, its funny, but it has to do with media, with education (or lack thereof), with our society and with ofcourse national politics. so allviews it was because it can be discussed from many different angles, and thats what I am interested in.

And lets just put it this way. I am putting it here, and this thread is not being moved anywhere.

tanz o mazah is a part of our soiety, some of the toughest topics have been tackled by people like ibne insha..anyone read urdu ki aakhri kitaab? seen studio dhai and ponay teen? seen alif noon? seen andehra ujala?

[firenze]

Re: I read it and laughed, then i cried, then i laughed

^^ Insha Jee one ? yes !

[X2]

Re: I read it and laughed, then i cried, then i laughed

yeah recall what his views about who is a pakistani? it looked at ethnocentrism and ethnocentric politcs, and asked out loud that punjabis are in india too, sinhis are in india too, urdu speakers are in india too, so why even bother to make Pakistan and that chapter closed with the statement " ji ghalti ho gayee aindah naheen banayen gaye" ..now someone can choose to get offended without understanding the message there and thinking that insha ji is mocking teh creation of the country, while he was merely illustrating that such ethnocentric crap and provincialism have no place in the nation.

and his points about who is a muslim- it can be summarised by the illustration with a mullah swinging a stick in a circle moving people out of that circle, and teh caption wrote "chal nikal islam kay dairay say'

people need to use their brain cells and understand what is being said. and the message my natkhat shahrti baccho is that the author is lamenting that fact that our media is spewing crap to pollute impressionable minds and then we get these 2 bit johnny come lately extremists who dont even know what the hell they are talking about, just like those little khilafah punks of hizb ul tahrir and mohajiroun. feel free to argue and disagree that paracha does not know his elbow from his arse, kinda like his bong afflicted off target views on music in past..but do try to think before reacting.

I have seen it personally and in my own family, I have a jamati cousin, who has no issue watching bollywood movies but declared me 'wajib-e-qatl' because I live in dar ul harb and shyt. so sadly...morons exist and its failure of our educational system, our carricaturing of people of people of other faiths..come on you know it exists. Interestingly enough now that he is married, all that dramay baazi is gone.

[firenze]

Some excerpts from the Urdu ki Aakhri Kitaab .. :D

[quote]
Jahangir ki biwi ke alawa uska adal bhi mashoor hai...usne mehel ke bahar aik zanjeer aur zanjeer se aik gahnta latka rakha tha..paas hi derban bitha diye thay ke koi feryadi nazdeek aany ki koshish karay tou us ke danda raseed karain phir bho koi na koi shakhs ghanta bajanay main kamyab ho jata tha aur Badshah ko be-waqt jagata tha ....uski saza bhi pata hoga.
[/quote]

[QUOTE]
Akbar ke baad Jahangir takht per baitha...woh Akbar ka beta tha agar uska baap hota tou yaqinan us se pehley takht per baith-ta.....Uski biwi Noor Jahan thi jo Malka-e Tarannum tou na thi laikin baaz aur kamalaat rakhti thi....Abhi no-umr hi thi ke logon ke kaboota pakar ke ura dia kerti thi khusoosan Wali Ohdon waghera ke..............Baad main aisi zordaar malka sabit hui ke baray baron ke haath ke totay usay daikhtay hee ur jaya kertay thay...............Jahangir ko bara hi zeerak aur samajhdar samajhna chahiye ke us ne mehez kabootron ke uranay se Noor Jahan ki liaqat ka andaza ker ke us se shadi ker li.
[/QUOTE]

[princessjojo]

Re: I read it and laughed, then i cried, then i laughed

That's a great piece. Very creative.

It reminds me of a true incident. We once visited a family and witnessed a 5 yr old doing to his mother something similar to this warmongering punk locking his in the kitchen! We were amazed. He even threw his mother's CDs out.

[zobia]

Re: I read it and laughed, then i cried, then i laughed

Nadeem F. Paracha...i always loved his analysis on Pakistani music scene.
...but this piece is really creative, but at the same time sardonic.

ur reaction is very appropriate that we [the paradoxical ones] don't know how to respond to the current situation of our country....cuz of our own actions.

we neglect the rational and instead of seeking the knowledge ourselves we heavily depends on others knowledge....such as TV.
it is not necessary that the people appear on the TV will provide u with authentic reasonings. so it is elders duty to guide their younger ones but also encourage them to seek knowledge themselves.

[Faisal]

Re: I read it and laughed, then i cried, then i laughed

Obviously extreme, but quite funny actually and makes a very good point (several good points, actually). I only laughed when someone sent it to me via email this morning, and did not do the prescribed laugh-cry-laugh routine ... Presumably you only shed literally tears too. Seriously, dude!!

[Niksik]

Re: I read it and laughed, then i cried, then i laughed

Oh my goodness. A perfect example of freedom of speech, freedom of the press etc... going wild.

Regarding impressionable youth, I personally know a very academically bright kid who argued with me about Neil Armstrong having heard the azan in space and then having converted right away.

We need to stick to the basics, don't we know?

[UZ]

I didn't find it much funny but it really is creative and it tells the sad truth.It is well written.

[UZ]

@X2

yeah recall what his views about who is a pakistani? it looked at ethnocentrism and ethnocentric politcs, and asked out loud that punjabis are in india too, sinhis are in india too, urdu speakers are in india too, so why even bother to make Pakistan and that chapter closed with the statement " jo ghalti ho gayee aindah naheen banayen gaye" ..now someone can choose to get offended without understanding the message there and thinking that insha ji is mocking teh creation of the country, while he was merely illustrating that such ethnocentric crap and provincialism have no place in the nation.

and his points about who is a muslim- it can be summarised by the illustration with a mullah swinging a stick in a cirle moving people out of that circle, and teh caption wrote "chal nikal islam kay dairay say'

people need to use their brain cells and understand what is being said. and the message my natkhat shahrti baccho is that the author is lamenting that fact that our media is spewing crap to pollute impressionable minds and then we get these 2 bit johnny come lately extremists who dont even know what the hell they are talking about, just like those little khilafah punks of hizb ul tahrir and mohajiroun. feel free to argue and disagree that paracha does not know his elbow from his arse, kinda like his bong afflicted off target views on music in past..but do try to think before reacting.

I have seen it personally and in my own family, I have a jamati cousin, who has no issue watching bollywood movies but declared me 'wajib-e-qatl' because I live in dar ul harb and shyt. so sadly...morons exist and its failure of our educational system, our carricaturing of people of people of other faiths..come on you know it exists. Interestingly enough now that he is married, all that dramay baazi is gone.

kabhi kabhi jamaat waley had bhi ker jaatey hain .I was thinking of opening a new thread on two things which some jamatan have recently told me and they are well at extreme level.

[X2]

@Faisal

Obviously extreme, but quite funny actually and makes a very good point (several good points, actually). I only laughed when someone sent it to me via email this morning, and did not do the prescribed laugh-cry-laugh routine ... Presumably you only shed literally tears too. Seriously, dude!!

i am very sensitive sniff

[X2]

@zobia

Nadeem F. Paracha...i always loved his analysis on Pakistani music scene. ...but this piece is really creative, but at the same time sardonic.

ur reaction is very appropriate that we [the paradoxical ones] don't know how to respond to the current situation of our country....cuz of our own actions.

we neglect the rational and instead of seeking the knowledge ourselves we heavily depends on others knowledge....such as TV. it is not necessary that the people appear on the TV will provide u with authentic reasonings. so it is elders duty to guide their younger ones but also encourage them to seek knowledge themselves.

BINGO- that is one piece that is a big take away even though paracha sahab did not point at it, upbringing is very important and its the parents job, why is it that family members living in same mohalla, same economic status produce kids that go in different directions.

guidance, making people appreciate knowledge and being open minded and seeking answers etc etc.

good observation

[goodnews]

@X2

Jokes is not the right place for it, so on grounds that this is not just a joke, I am fine with that being moved from there.

***In my case, I was not sure what would be the right place, its funny, but it has to do with media, with education (or lack thereof), with our society and with ofcourse national politics. ***so allviews it was because it can be discussed from many different angles, and thats what I am interested in.

And lets just put it this way. I am putting it here, and this thread is not being moved anywhere.

tanz o mazah is a part of our soiety, some of the toughest topics have been tackled by people like ibne insha..anyone read urdu ki aakhri kitaab? seen studio dhai and ponay teen? seen alif noon? seen andehra ujala?

Mujhe filhal hansi nahi rona hi a raha hai:(
,Like Jab kisi ne mujh se pocha frustration main kiya kerti hu main ny kaha music sunti hon. Toba toba tabhi tu:tasuf bhara smiley ky muslman khwateen music bhi sunti hai)
Ab hansi a gai on ka andaz yad ker ky. Dars p tadrees suna kijiy kaha giya ab GS per tu ju mu main ata bol daiti that was talkh haqeeqat ham chup rahe or muskura diy kuch yun:) ab ham aise ho giy

[X2]

Re: I read it and laughed, then i cried, then i laughed

^ teri zindagi mein yoon to kai gham aayen gaye..
muskuraye ga to gham bhag jayen gaye

[Niksik]

Re: I read it and laughed, then i cried, then i laughed

Hai, kya yaad dila diya. Zoheb and Nazia. Awesome :hinna:

[goodnews]

@X2

^ teri zindagi mein yoon to kai gham aayen gaye..
muskuraye ga to gham bhag jayen gaye

Bilkul thanx:D

@Niksik

Hai, kya yaad dila diya. Zoheb and Nazia. Awesome :hinna:

:hinna::hinna:

[Iconoclast]

Re: I read it and laughed, then i cried, then i laughed

I neither found it funny nor creative and no way near the reality.

The type of mentality he is trying to portray is NOT created by watching Pakistani tv channels but somewhere else.

And Nadeem F Paracha frankly i find him twisted.

[saieen]

Re: I read it and laughed, then i cried, then i laughed

i said it in the other thread an am saying it again here...

islam is a joke now and muslims are jokers. funny thing...they are the only ones who laugh at islam and jokes related to it. others are too busy bringing islam into the 21st century from caveman era....1500 years ago.