I need a reality check.

Lifestyle Relationships
41

:biggthumb

42

sure!!

sharpens his witch hunting tools

43

**Its a typical problem. When you don’t have BFs, people will tell you, you should have some. And when you’ve had some BFs, then people will tell you, you’re an “typical” girl who has affair before marriage. In other words, loogo ka kya hai? loog tou baatein karein gey!

What you’re doing is great and perfect. And some day you’ll realize that. :sadiyah:

**

44

Re: I need a reality check.

Just be yourself Cat-Woman.

45

Re: I need a reality check.

Welcome back arshad, long time no see!

46

Re: I need a reality check.

I don't understand Cat In your D head thread you told that you have experience with good looking guys and said why they are D head.

Here you say you are sati sawatri.....I'm confused.

Two Words That Go Together
47

Re: I need a reality check.

^ Ignore him

48

Ignore him because you said same thing you found out so you did same thing and you won't like asking question.

Did you chase good looking guys and then you found out they are D heads.

49

Re: I need a reality check.

catwoman i'd say there's nothing wrong in that. i think every muslim should be like that.
drinking, clubbing etc isn't the only type of "FUN" you can have. i myself hate it when people think like that. but i guess its quite hard specially when your living in a non muslim country.
and u just gotta deal with people like that. tell them to mind their own business and stop interfering its your life and i think you are living it in a much better way than them.
don't let their stupid comments effect you and carry on the way you do.

good luck

50

Cat, you're not alone in feeling this way. Believe it or not I go through some of these issues while negotiating between being a Muslim and also being involved in the secular world. I don't claim to be some angel here but I am damn better than some people on Gupistan and elsewhere, who think that they are holier than thou.

I pray 5 times a day but also go out clubbing, parties with friends, work colleagues. I have never had a drop of alcohol while being out but will dance to my favorite beats. I have more friends that are girls but never dated forget kissing or even touching a girl inappropriately. My parents are much more liberal than I am, so dating, drinking or anything else would be no big deal to them, but my imaan stops me from crossing over to the haram side. So yes, I don't just go to work and come home to pray tahjjud, but my rep at the *Islamic *Center has never been questioned. May be I am a biot materialistic, like my suits and cars, but I also give 12% of my gross income in the name of G-d and do 2 nights at the soup kitchen. I am not a hypocrite becuase i work hard, believe only in G-d and his beloved Messenger Muhammad (PBUH), an treat everyone (Muslim or not) with respect and humanity.

I am not going to step back because I am Muslim. EVERY single rule of Islam is rooted in the scientific inquiry, metaphyics, and logic. So it's NOT difficult for me to follow the rules of Islam - it is something that I embrace.

I usually don't get personal here, but reading your note struck a chord. Keep smiling, stay fly :)

51

Re: I need a reality check.

^ Are you jewish? We're allowed to write God, they're not.

52

Becareful when you say those bolded words. The best of our Shaikhs always said (Maulana Ashraf Ali Thanvi being one of them)- "I am the worst of ALL Muslims"- and they were one of best Muslims, and if they thought that, then well I don't think we have any right to think we're better then anyone else either- even if they do have the holier then thou attitude (and honeslty your whole post sounds"I am holier then thou."). Mashallah, it's great you do all this stuff, but honeslty but please stop with the "I do this, and I do that"- I hate it when some guppies do that to prove there point.

53

Dude, did I not write about being Muslim? I now happen to agree with Jews when they write G-d. I used write it the normal way but decided to change it to G-d based on some good logical reasoning.

How do you define this?
54

Brother, I have no quarrel with what you write. Please note my join date and the number of times I have posted. SOME people here expect all Muslims to act a certain way and are not not afraid to issue fatwas (when they're hardly qualified), so my comment was directed towards those people.

As for what "I" do, it was a personal post, so I am not going to be arguing the merits of Hazrat Ali's lifestyle. I am a sinner as much if not more than my fellow Muslims. However I am not going to come out here to say generic things when Cat made thread about the challenges she has faced - challenges I have been navigating as a single 20s, Muslim Pakistani, Male who wants to do well in deen and duniya.

Like I said, my comment applies to less than 1% of gupistan's membership, rest of you guys are cool :D

55

I found this article and I thought it was relevant here:

Dilemmas of the Muslim student: Between Clubbing & the Qurâan

Muslims at university are faced with many problems, obstacles and challenges. Whether they are in their home cities or have moved, having left home for the first time. They prepare themselves for the problems of coping with the workload, organising their time, accommodation and coursework. Although these problems are real and cannot be overlooked they are just the tip of the iceberg.

Ironically in the first week at university the first problems they face will not be organising their time or coping with the workload.** In the first weeks they're likely to be invited to a party by their department, their colleagues will invite them to go clubbing and the Student Union will invite everyone to a pub-crawl. At the fresher’s fair every society will try and sign them up including the clubbing society with their promises of cheap beer and discounts at the clubs and the Asian society who will be promoting their bhangra and parties.

This leaves Muslims with a real dilemma: should we go with the flow and compromise our identity or stick to our principles and risk being called “anti-social”. So how do Muslim students face this dilemma?
**

Differing responses

Some people will accept everything from the Kufr society wholeheartedly and totally forget Islam. So they may not pray all year and when non-Muslims attack Islam they may even agree. This is seen as extreme; more commonly people choose to take the ‘middle ground’. So they enjoy the pubs and clubs but still pray on a Friday, they would indulge in drugs but would never touch a ham sandwich.

As term progresses, more and more Muslims forget Islam until this becomes normality. This is the natural consequence of taking the common ground. Surely the one who drinks but does not get drunk is compromising Islam.

Accepting compromise is the basic reason behind the identity crisis within Muslims at university. Compromise is what leads people to relax some parts of Islam that don't seem to fit in to their new lifestyle. This is why many Muslims limit Islam to something they do every Friday or when they return home for the holidays.

Many see nothing wrong with the ideas of live life to the max or you only live once, dreaming that after student life they will settle down and then think about Islam. Others may fully engage in their study, greeting fellow Muslims with complimentary Assalamu Alaikum, but leave Islam on the shelf.

Muslims may even lose their emotion for Islam, becoming numb to the problems the Muslims are facing around the world, justifying to themselves that it doesn’t directly affect them or that they are only problems for the people of that nationality.

An Invitation to Think

As Muslims, we are always in danger of falling into the traps of society, of abandoning our beliefs or relegating Islam to “spiritual issues” alone. In fact we must question ourselves and ensure that we understand our life. We are taught not to question the basic yet most fundamental questions in life; “Why am I Muslim?”, "What is my purpose in life?", "Is there anything after death?"

These questions, although basic, may be sidelined or ignored by us and often remain confused in our minds. Some of us may be dumbstruck with the question of, “Why are you Muslim?" Others may answer, “Because my parents are”, yet if posed with the same question about their choice of bank account or degree course they would reply with an elaborate answer.

Some of us when posed with this question may say, “Islam is the truth” but when questioned further as to how to prove the truth of Islam they would give a vague reply.

We need to realise that Islam is the definite truth. Islam is not a belief like those of other religions and creeds, which resort to notions like, "I can feel Jesus in my heart that’s why I’m Christian", or "Man is free to do as he pleases because he is good in nature". Rather we know for sure that Allah (Subhanahu Wa Ta’aala) exists and that the Qur’an is the word of Allah (Subhanahu Wa Ta’aala). The proof of Allah’s (Subhanahu Wa Ta’aala) existence is found in our surroundings, which leads to the fact that everything in the universe could not have resulted out of nothing as some may have us believe. Allah (Subhanahu Wa Ta’aala) has emphasised this in many places in the Qur’an. He (Subhanahu Wa Ta’aala) says:

"Verily, in the creation of heavens and earth, and in the difference between night and day are signs for those who have minds" [TMQ Ale-Imran: 190]

We should acquire the knowledge of our belief and our identity so that we have no doubts and can easily refute any of the erroneous arguments that the society bombards us with.

Sticking to Islam

As Muslims having firm belief in Allah (Subhanahu Wa Ta’aala) and certainty in the fact that the Qur’an is guidance from Him, we can build our lives according to Islam and must shun the notions of freedom and "live life to the max" that create a society where rape is common on university campuses and where crime has become a norm which students attempt to protect their property from.

*Applying Islam selectively in our lives is tantamount to burning the pages of the Qur’an. We should realise that restricting Islam to the mosque or merely Halal food is compromising our position both in this life and in the hereafter. We are accountable for all our actions and upon this basis Allah (Subhanahu Wa Ta’aala) will assign to us Jannah (paradise) or Jahannam (hellfire).
*

“So do you believe in some part of the Book and disbelieve in some. The penalty awaiting those who do this is nothing but humiliation in this life and the severest of punishment on the Day of Judgment” [TMQ Al-Baqarah: 85].

Allah (Subhanahu Wa Ta’aala) has warned us about partaking in the evil gatherings that take place in nightclubs, raves, “bhangra do’s” and the like. Allah (Subhanahu Wa Ta’aala) says;

"Cooperate in righteousness and piety, and don't cooperate in sin and transgression" [TMQ Al-Ma’idah: 2].

A Muslim must take care to stay away from environments that are dominated by boyfriend-girlfriend relationships and pre-marital sex. The Prophet (Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam) has encouraged us to control our lust and our speech.

Sahl ibn Sa’d (ra) narrated that the Prophet (Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam) said,

Whoever can guarantee what is between his two jaw-bones and what is between his two legs, I guarantee Paradise for him” [Sahih Bukhari].

If we are tempted by intoxicants such as alcohol or drugs whether in large or small quantities, we should take heed of the words of Muhammad (Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam) who said:

"All intoxicants are unlawful, of whatever thing a large quantity intoxicates; even a small quantity is prohibited" [An-Nawawi].

“No fornicator commits fornication in the state of being a believer so long as he is busy in committing it. No thief commits theft in the state of being a believer so long as he commits this. No drunkard drinks in the state of being a believer so long as he is busy in drinking” [Agreed upon].

This advice is not aimed at attacking Muslims who don’t follow Islam; rather it is an advice that is aimed at provoking thought in all of us to enable us to follow the truth.

The Prophet (Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam) said,

"Each of you is the mirror of his brother, so if he sees any fault in him he should wipe it away from him" [Tirmidhi].

Whilst at university individuals spend hours of thought upon the topics of their courses and even their social lives. It would be hypocritical not to think about their belief and their way of life. The most definite thing in life is death, it would be irrational for us to ignore the inevitable and attempt to escape thinking about it as so many of the non-Muslims do.

The Messenger of Allah (Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam) said,

“The clever one is he who disciplined himself and worked for what is after death, and the feeble one is he who followed his desires, then made (vain) prayers to Allah.”

If any of us haven't started to think about Islam seriously, now is as good a time as any. Those of us that are practicing Islam should ensure that we do not become complacent and should do our utmost to develop our Islamic personality and guide those around us.

It is important that whilst at university we keep an Islamic atmosphere amongst Muslim students, we should also support the Islamic activities taking place such as talks, seminars and debates. This atmosphere will help us to remain strong amidst the tide of Kufr at university.

"The good and the evil are not alike even if the evil looks like the good and is followed by the majority. So fear Allah, O you that understand; that (so) you may prosper" [TMQ Al-Ma’idah: 100].

Abdul-Hamid Jassat

I have a stalker...
56

Re: I need a reality check.

^
**
Exactly my point about these "well meaning but impractical" articles. These articles don't even apply in Wahhabist KSA, so lets not even talk about the West.

I will NEVER judge a Muslim guy or girl who has gone clubbing, has friends of the opposite sex etc. We are humans trying to live a Muslim life but also living in Western societies and cultures vastly different from ours. I don't believe that Muslims should be isolating themselves. It's a fine line between integrating into the society while maintaining our religion - I applaud all those trying to walk the tightrope.
**

I have a stalker...
57

It's a view point from the other side of the fence.

I was born and raised in the US. I have plenty of friends and we do a lot of things together. I have never gone clubbing - and honestly I never even knew a single Muslim that went clubbing. I wouldn't say it's impracticle, based on my life experiences. (and please don't think I went to some kind of Islamic school- I didn't. I went to public schools all my life and am now at a public university)

Some people like to hang out with people that share the same values as them. I personally don't hang with them or go clubbing- I don't judge them on what kind of Muslim they are. It's just not my style and I would feel like I was committing a sin. Whether or not I am, that's for Allah to judge. Thus I would hang out with the same type of people that share the aspirations that I share, that view the deen in the same way I do (and that's my right to do so). I judge people on how they will effect my Iman (which is different then judging someone on what kind of Muslim they are)- and I have a perfect right to do so.

In the masjid they told us that

On the Day of Judgement you will be raised with the people that you hang out with. So even if you never drank alcohol, but you did everything with them, then you will be one of them. If you arent a Hijabi, but you do everything with them, you will be raised with them.

I personally don't feel it's right. SO I don't do it. Just because you believe that something isn't right, doesn't make you judgemtal. But Allah knows best.

58

**

Does the opposite apply? **

59

YES! and he based this on a hadith or Quran ayah- which I am forgetting at the moment- but I will ask him, iA and tell you at the end of this month when I will see him.

So he said that say you aren't a good person - you just can't be like the maulanas but you want to be them and you love them for the sake of Allah, so you hang out them,etc- then you will inshallah be one of them, and on the Day of Judgment, you will be raised with them.

60

Miss, care to share the good logical reasoning? I'd love to be able to benefit from your knowledge.