I need a proper burial

Lifestyle Relationships
1

Sending an email to her didn’t lessen my burden as expected. Her response has killed my hopes but her memories refuse to go away and I keep having that sinking feeling in my heart all the time whether I think about her or not.
It’s like a story that finished abruptly without a proper end.
I know time will bury it but I don’t know when will that happen and by the time it happens i will already have a deep psychological scar that will affect my future life.
How do I bury it myself instead of waiting for it to happen?

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Re: I need a proper burial

You can write the ending to this sad story yourself, remember as long as you stay in control of the the situation, by expressing what you feel and not let it control you by driving you into despair!

3

Re: I need a proper burial

find a hobby. make yourself busy. stop reading romance.

4

Re: I need a proper burial

do shaa'irii...start writing your feelings and let it come out in beautiful words...Urdu shaa'irii is very well suited for expressing emotions. i found solace in she'r o shaa'irii! :)

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Re: I need a proper burial

edited

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Re: I need a proper burial

I can imagine it must be a really really hard blow emotionally .. the best thing is you already know that time will heal it , you already know that you want to bury this emotional experience .. thats a very good start ..

I would suggest you do the following:

  • Like Kaka said, stay away from any romance related shows/movies/books etc .. these wont let you heal and you will constantly feel the loss, which you dont want to.

  • Become extra social.. go out with friends for movies, just travelling , cycling, hiking, anything that will keep your thoughts blocked .. tire yourself out .. meeting new people always helps . it may seem like an uphill task in the beginning but believe me, I have seen people heal quicker when they are amongst people rather then when they keep alone ..

  • Dont hide away from the negative feelings, face them, let them come out occasionally and keep telling yourself that you deserve someone in life who will love you with equal intensity as you would love them .. if this person hasnt been able to reciprocate your love, then clearly you are losing out on being loved equally and this relationship isnt being fair to you ... know this in your heart and mind that you deserve nothing short of an equal relationship.

I think these are the few things that should help you gain closure emotionally , inshallah

7

Re: I need a proper burial

Dude just know there are bigger sadmas to deal with and your sadma (though feels very difficult atm) but like even after 6 months you will look back and habve a very different perspective than you have now. Give yourself time to have a differnt perspective to the given situation. meanwhile focus on what you can change and leave time to change things that u cant.

(i am so samajhdar mA mA mA)

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Re: I need a proper burial


shaa'irii ko kiuN bhool gaiiN? :(

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Re: I need a proper burial

KKF , mainly coz I dont understand poetry, so no clue how effective is it :(

Secondly , I feel poetry just doesnt let you get out of this hurt phase .. i know a friend who was in a similar situation and she was into poetry .. and believe me she is going through a hell time to overcome this grief .. some people are just too sensitive and poetry can only aggravate their situation ..

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Re: I need a proper burial


i agree on 'the degree of sensitivity' thingy. poetry helped me immensely...yeh do she'r ne mujeh accept karne men madad dii:

chalaa jaataa huN haNstaa kheltaa mauj-e-Hawaadis se
agar aasaaniyaaN hoN, zindagii dushwaar ho jaaye

AND

ranj se khoogar huaa insaaN to miT jaataa hai Gham
mushkileN mujh pe paRii itnii k aasaaN ho gaiiN

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Re: I need a proper burial

I feel you, I'm going through the same. I think the poblem is with us, or atleast me. Can't seem to accept what has happened, keep thinking there has to be more than this. No solution yet bro. Sorry :(

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Re: I need a proper burial

I lost control a long time ago. Infact I'm in this situation only becoz I lost control. For me expressing what I feel to her will make any difference and I never got a chance for that. I have expressed myself here and to many other people but it didn't work.

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Re: I need a proper burial

Will that not make it a permanent part of my life instead of forgetting it?

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Re: I need a proper burial

I know romantic songs sound horrible now.

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Re: I need a proper burial

I have been doing that and a lot more and it helps a lot. But it has worked for a short time only but i will keep on trying.

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Re: I need a proper burial

What happened to you?

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Re: I need a proper burial

I guess Im not caught up, what happened?

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Re: I need a proper burial

^ I got rejected and shut out from her life.

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Re: I need a proper burial

maait and lil_ash its really okay for you guys to be like this, we all know its hard to accept. our sole in love just grow like a beautiful plant and the time we have a heart break and try to live with some other way its equal to pull that plant out with roots and place it some other place. At times it does dye or reach near to death and then come back to life.

if your sad allow your self to be sad a little, visit some children, play with them or look at them playing doing funny things, do some gardening, watch fishes in a fish tank all these things are medically proven to help heal human sole, dont try to be too much lonely and stay away from things that trigger your feelings.

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Re: I need a proper burial

*Na bacha bacha kay rakh issay kay ye aaina hay wo aaina

Jo shikasta ho tau qareeb tar hay nigah e aaina saaz main
*

Try giving extra time to quran, you may not like to read initialy, but carry on with reading for a week, try reading some good tafseer then you will never believe how quickly your condition improves.

Like one has the option to use fire to burn a house or to do some thing productive. This kafiyat of Ishq is highly admirable in deen.

Can you read some good urdu?