I’m sorry I accidentally ended up in wedding/rishta thread. It’s always interesting to read what kind of qualities one looks for in his/her potential life partner. It felt great to scroll through really nice guys and girls. But then something got stuck in my mind, and I thought of questioning it here.
‘We would prefer a guy/girl from west/abroad, so our children can fulfil their dreams’
What?
Since when living in West is considered a ‘quality’ ?
I’m sorry I didn’t mean to hurt anyone. It’s just something I’m unable to understand.
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It’s not a quality. It’s a quick ticket to fulfilling their kids’ “dreams”.
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West does offer a lot of financial opportunities and a great quality of life and mostly protection of females. There is also a lot more gender equality and safety. I would not want my children to live in the east, I wouldnt even send them for a visit mainly because of safety and hygiene reasons. My niece went on a volunteering trip and she got really sick and they brought her back urgently. In most cases if the girls had a choice they would tell the sassu ma to keep the boy and handover the green card.
For me the prejudice against the other castes or ethnicities is disturbing and the height weight complexion crap. No one seems to be bothered with personality traits, Larki baadmizaaj naa hoo, larkaa badtaameez naah ho, raat ko soonay sai pehley daant brush kaarta ho..etc. Suusraal waaley humaari baitee to naukraani naah samjhein..etc.
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It’s sad though to take advantage in this way. Many marriages dissolved because of that.
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It’s considered ‘taking advantage’ if the other party is unaware of it. Arranged marriages are usually like business deals. Both the parties gain some advantage in the contract. Just like looks, degrees etc are preferences, so is the ‘location’. I’m not saying it’s right or wrong. It just is.
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Sorry, But your niece could get sick anywhere on the earth. America doesn’t impress when it comes to food quality and safety. I’m sorry there are over 3 million illicit users of drugs in US . I know many Pakistani families settled abroad who want their kids to get married in Pakistan. Because they somewhat believe that pakistani children still have some family values and they respect elders and all that. I dont get that either.
Lol Bobby, you are the first person who has talked about ‘raat ko sonay se pehle daant brush karta ho’. It really made me laugh, and on a honest note yeah I would want my guy to brush his teeth Lol.
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Yeah I agree. We are not here to call it wrong. But it’s awkward.
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Yeah I gotta say I find the “complexion” requests more disturbing as well… but you know this is why I stay the hell out of that area Girlie!
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**Actually marriages dissolving cannot totally be attributed to the move from East to West like Bobby1 here implicates with such extreme prejudice…i.e. Eastern Empathy vs Western Empathy 
if we compare the divorce rates… Western lack of Empathy for their partners, is like a setting Sun on relationships!
**
This very funny poem by Mubarak Siddique kinda points out the differences in the two cultures
*Asi kithay Aa Baitay Aan
Goray hass kay loot Janday nay
Kalay aiwain he kutt Janday nay 
*
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An eye candy to begin with. Trophy wives.
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It is more they think girls from back home make better naukranis, girls born here know their rights. Even when we go to Mexico we are advised to only drink bottled water and only eat at resorts. Our immune system can’t handle stuff there. The thing I admire most about my wife is her pearly white teeth. I could never marry a girl with poor hygiene.
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MOST? Seriously!! 
I’m sure she’d be disappointed to know that 
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You married a girl from Mexico?
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right looks like Bobby1 does not fully understand Women!
if She reads this Bobby1 will surely get some sleeping on the couch time!
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Yeah make better naukranies and since they dont know much about their rights, they wouldn’t mind their drug addicted son. Sorry just a personal question, what does your wife like the most about you?
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“The West” is good if you have a middle class or higher social status. Otherwise it is going to be a struggle in a location you aren’t even familiar with. Pulling up one’s social status is not guaranteed, or even going to be a fair battle (you can work as hard as you want, but sometimes the luck you need to exponentially make your financial status great won’t reach you). But let’s be real here. Trying to gain status and a better financial state in “the West” is probably more possible than doing that in Pakistan. This is also omitting the 5,000,000 other factors that would indicate a better quality of life in the West compared to Pakistan. I’m speaking from an American POV, so IDK about Canada and the countries of Europe and their conditions.
Sometimes you really need to look at the situation objectively before letting your nationalist tendencies and pride get in the way.
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haye haye!! innay mushkil sawaal cafe ke bachon se 
Ok here’s the thing.. it’s all about easy big-money 50% of the time.. it’s just a general statement.. I am not pointing out anyone.. and I am including whole subcontinent and some other parts of the world in it too.. and honestly quality has nothing to do with it.. There is much more quality in Pakistan too, you just dont know it yet..
and why west?? because those countries are richer and offers good salaries.. also, the main difference is in currency rate.. which is around 1 to 100.. so a person earning there 10k a month means 100 times more money in here.. plus points..
and now to preferences, I think there’s a big difference in style of raising a child in both cultures.. which is a big deal.. Western people have more broader minds.. and they usually have no problem in dating other people or choosing their life partner by their own.. maybe I am wrong here, but I am saying what I heard from my family/friend’s experiences.. and also people there have more freedom and courage than here, which helps them take decisions on their own.. (again this is just a general statement).. and about desi culture.. people here are more into old culture, in which parents kept a hold on their children, dating here is a bad thing.. you dont see people dating here.. though some kids do it chori chori.. however, people here are married for once and forever(more than 80%).. and they are so many more things, which is why, western parents/people look for a good person/rishta in subcontinent, no matter muslim/hindu/sikh etc etc..
and no one is so dumb that they dont know desi usually agrees for a foreign rishta cause of money.. westerns know they have a plus point of being in west…
and now to other half of the 50%.. I am ONLY sharing it because I’ve seen it with my own eyes.. so NO, not everyone is marrying for money.. My cousin married a British born girl which is now living in PAKISTAN with him, and they are enjoying life alhamdulillah.. so quality or money have nothing to do with it and guess what, they were friends on Facebook, then became love birds, and then Patti Patni.. there is another one who married a girl in CA, he moved with her to CA, he was well settled here, but pyar andha hota hai naa.. and I know so many who are married to western born girls and boys living happily in here and in west too.. and they did not marry for money..
Overall, it’s a give and take relation.. everyone have to compromise a bit everytime.. No one will ever find a servant.. you shake hands for marriage happily, then keep shaking it until the death.. it’s what Islam says..
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No!! hygiene is a big thing for both of us, her eldest sister who passed away had shared with me that she cant stand her husband because of smoking smell and although he was very well placed and educated he ate gutka and ruined his teeth. You could be walking on water and don’t floss, I don’t want you.
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I was eavesdropping while she was talking to her friend about me, I thought she will say that I am good looking, make a good living, cook, clean, spend hours with our kids activities and much more but the surprising thing she said she likes the most about me is that I let her do whatever she pleases, so giving you spouse a lot of room is a big thing. She does whatever she pleases.
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Agr ye thread relationships mein open hota tou ziada behter hota q k wahan ziada danishwar aur philosphers comment krte…yahan cafe mein tou thore se danishwar hain bss 