i hate this ******* process

Lifestyle Wedding, Fashion & Beauty
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Re: i hate this ******* process

So now ur calling it life imprisonment? watever happened to 16 happy years wihtout any fight? :halo:

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Re: i hate this ******* process

Shouldn't this process be given a chance also. The ABCD or ARCD ( american raised desi) girls and boys are more enlightened but I am sure 714's parents will not push her into an 'andha ko-an' for the lack of a better word or translation.
After all 99.999999999999 percent of desies got married this way and are living happily ever after. I am one of those , been married for 16 years and still very happy. Yes I saw a few girls and then I and the family agreed to one and that was end of it.

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Re: i hate this ******* process

man where is your sense of humor on vacation ?

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Re: i hate this ******* process

its right here, i dint take anything u said seriously :p

Where is Masoom Muskaan?
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Re: i hate this ******* process

:bb:

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Re: i hate this ******* process

^ Are you the wife? :bb:

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Re: i hate this ******* process

I didn't use a special technique...Each person's situation is different and I think it's upto 714 to find out what will work in her situation. My situation was even more messed up because I knew who I wanted to marry but he was from a different culture and my dad didn't want to agree but it took a lot of guts and a lot of time and hardship to stand upto him and tell him in plain and simple words that I do not believe in the rishta process and I will only marry the person I like..

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Re: i hate this ******* process

You are absolutely right. So 714 does not have anybody in mind as I see it and as written above she should give this process a chance for a while at least. Everything Desi is not bad some of them are good too.
She hates this process and it is natural being born and raised or even just raised in USA. Most of the Pakistani girls back home do not hate the process and co-operate with their parents but again it is the difference of culture and circumstances.

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Re: i hate this ******* process

^ true, however, i can understand 714's pov too... her heart's not in it. why should she give it a chance when she's not feeling it, or wanting it?

like i said, you have to reach breaking point before you realise, you and only you, can stand up for what you want. she can continue to give it a chance and waste time, or she can make change happen. yes, its difficult in desi mentality, and anyone who says otherwise is from another culture, but its not impossible. i can certainly vouch for emerging on the "other side" as a much stronger person, with a lot more self-confidence, and a lot less tolerance for bull- regardless of who is dishing it out. this doesn't mean i dont love my parents, in fact, it was because i loved them so much and wanted them to see things from my perspective, that it was such a struggle. i could have shrugged my shoulders and walked away with a "to hell with you"... but i chose to stay, confront, fight, argue, cry, support... do whatever needed to be done, to make sure they knew my reasons and that i loved them and it wasn't about them, but me and the life i wanted.

in the end, its really up to you, 714... you can be miserable and continue doing nothing, or you can give it a chance, or you can do what you want. its all up to you- unfortunately, theres no magic pill to make it all go away and come back nicely organised.

dumb: i hope you realise how lucky you are that things worked out so well for you, because its not a given. i've seen marriages fall apart that were arranged, and i've seen people hide many, many things from the world and even their own families, to give the illusion of a happy marriage. so by no means is this the guaranteed "always right" way either. i think an arranged marriage has as much chance of success as any other kind of marriage, frankly.

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Re: i hate this ******* process

714 - i sympathize and i hope everything works out for you insha'allah.

what part of the 714 are you from? assuming that's an area code, cuz i don't think that's really smalltown, there's plenty of guys in 714, 310, 951, 909.. etc :)

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Re: i hate this ******* process

I completely agree with somegroovychick but its easier said than done..desi girls for some reason(including myself) have an extremely difficult time standing up to our parents and telling them NO. I wonder why that is. I mean I believe each girl has the potential to change her life for the better but for some reason, we just don't do it?

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Re: i hate this ******* process

And you said this process is not for you, so I think if you went away for school and met someone on your own that would make things a hell of a lot easier.

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Re: i hate this ******* process

:teary1: Hosla mere bachi hosla huggies

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Re: i hate this ******* process

I smell multinick. Mirch == Dumb

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Re: i hate this ******* process

:)…:hugz:

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Re: i hate this ******* process

:cb:

mujh say shadi keroo giiiiiiii :cb:

cheer up na.. kuch ni hota.. have fun with these silly aunties.. never let it get to u..

never ever everrrr take it personal..

:hugz:

are those rishta sites any good..

like shadi.com and stuf.. no harm in just looking …

this way is sooo old fashioned na..

when will we realize how lame this whole thing is.. btw i got married the same way.. pretty much. my fil saw me in pak and fell in love with me :cb: for his son ofcourse//

its so annoying na .. but try and hav fun and dont take anyrishta serious unless u deciide it is for u… :hugz:

Tic-tac-toe
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Re: i hate this ******* process

I like your reply the best coming from one who went throgh the process.
Is this a new fashion to hate every thing desi ? Is it a fashion to consider the desi parents backward if they want to arrange a wedding for their beloved daughter ?

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Re: i hate this ******* process

^ i love most things desi../ from clothes to food etc etc.. umm parents have to consider while fixing a shadi that their children's ego is not getting hurt and they are happy with the desicion without any pressures..

let me tell u .. parents aren't always right.. but they think they are doing their best..

um and the new fashion is to love everything rugged old somewhat desi.. like the indian style jewlery.. the kurtis / the pashminas// on the runway atleast.. :)

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Re: i hate this ******* process

aap k haan :hugz: free miltay hain ???

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Re: i hate this ******* process

they do the same thing when their love marriage falls apart. so u can't really use this as an example.
at least in arranged marriage you have the option to freely talk about your issues with your family... but in love marriages, these chances are pretty limited 'cause you know everyone is gonna blame you first 'hey, but that was your choice'.. nahi?