i know this is generally a happy subforum, but as this is the wedding section, i suppose i’m supposed to post here
i’ve barely begun this stupid rishta process that is so NOT me and i’m trying to give it a chance but already i’m hating it so much
and AGHHHHH i’m so angry right now i can’t even get out what i want to say exactly but i am not happy
but being that it’s apparently not gonna happen any other way because my life is the same damn thing here in small town usa with the same damn thing day in day out and no likely exit until i’m married, which is ironic in itself, i don’t have a choice but to do it this way
i’m so sick of being told how to impress these imaginary potential people that might come along that i don’t really care about anyway
i’m not like other desi girls and i’m not about to change that to impress some random auntie looking for a supermodel doctor for their less than average son
i hate the way my mother makes me feel like i’m such a hard sell when i don’t think there is anything wrong with my personality
i know i’m being negative and judgemental but i don’t care, i’m angry and frustrated and this is my thread
i’m also about to cry
i wish i could go out in the world and meet someone in a way that works for me, b/c i really don’t see this happening
and before someone tells me to go do that then, you haven’t met my parents
sorry to hear that 714..I hope you feel better. I have heard that you should pray to find a good match for you.In my times I remember that I hadnt thought of marraige so I never prayed or thought of praying:)
But I can see that the restrictions and the expectations are really making you frustrated.
Please think and reearch in your mind what sort of personality in a guy will make you happy. I m talking in practical sense and am not asking you to carve yourself an ideal , which is usally close to never found.
And foremost, know Yourself first and then decide on what you want:).
May Allah Mian guide you:hugz:
WHen i was going through this, my parents had the same issues and for the life of them couldnt understand the simple things i asked for in a guy. But i made lots of dua, held my foot down on some things and Alhamdulillah today i am married to a person, who is much better than what i had in mind. Alhamdulillah.
This is going to be a gruesome process and hopefully not too long. But what i like to think is there is light at the end of this tunnel as well. Good luck. PM me if you need to :)
Don't despair go to one of the rishta mandi ( no pun intended) ISNA arranges every now and then and you will be able to pick and choose. I do not know anybody who got engaged or married through that process but I have heard a lot of good things about it.
Trust your own instincts and your parents experience. Yes it is a painful process for boys and girls but this is how our religion, culture and customs have shaped it up.
I agree with the thread starter - A few of my cousins have actually taken up medical for this very same reason :S and their mother(s) keep on bragging about it to all the aunties who have son(s).
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i hate the way my mother makes me feel like i'm such a hard sell when i don't think there is anything wrong with my personality
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There is the problem. Potential rishtas never see the real personality, only looks, the fake smiles and the generic answers to generic questions (what are your goals, what do you do on weekends)
You caught me . LOL
Is there any harm in trying for another one after being faithfull to one for sixteen years ?
Just trying to cheer this girl going through these pains.
God help you....I hate this rishta process, it's too disturbing for me!!
i'm SO glad i didn't go through it...i was too stubborn to let it happen to me otherwise i'm sure my dad would love me to go through every step of this process....afterall, this is the method people in our culture believe to be the best way to make a successful marriage. well i say it's all bull****!
good luck you!! I hope this painful process ends soon!!
God help you....I hate this rishta process, it's too disturbing for me!!
i'm SO glad i didn't go through it...i was too stubborn to let it happen to me otherwise i'm sure my dad would love me to go through every step of this process....afterall, this is the method people in our culture believe to be the best way to make a successful marriage. well i say it's all bull****!
good luck you!! I hope this painful process ends soon!!
Go ahead tell her the trick you used to get out of it and what method you followed to get married. This is what 714 is looking for , advice to end her ordeal as soon as possible.
i hope you find a way out of it, 714... it sucks. i, too, hated it, desperately - it felt so suffocating and just illogical to me. AH it worked out in the end... i mean, i basically moved out, met my husband, and eventually married him. my parents were resistant at first but then came to understand and accept my thought process, so thank God, it worked out well. however, with all the crap i went through, i wouldn't recommend it unless you're at breaking point, which is where i was... can you not apply for a job elsewhere? or study some more in a university far away? desi parents seem to be more open to those suggestions than others sometimes...
You should be ashamed of yourself. You're so dumb.
Sara yes I am dumb but not so dumb that I would not remember that I have confessed to life imprisonment already. But you chose to insult me. Khair what can I do ? I am just crying now.
