I hate my mother

Lifestyle Relationships
21

Re: I hate my mother

aww :hugz: I dont know what to say yaar …

22

Re: I hate my mother

basically you need to take some time out and get away from the situation, look at things from a diff perspective. Go on holiday.

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Re: I hate my mother

puchi kuchi ! i respect what u said in yr post

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Re: I hate my mother

going through her illness has made me into such a strong person in the sense that I will not go through that route, sometimes we suffer with the people close to us and learn from their mistakes.
all my life I saw mum’s depression which made me want to become a PSYCHIATRIST, so i specialized in this field for this purpose alone. I know more than any dr, as Im also the dr and suffering with the patient, who can know more than me?
I was the one who went through all the different side effects of diff meds with her and tried my level best to get her meds that would have the least side effects. It is handy being a dr and also being in this situation but sometimes people think we know everything and can handle everything. It;s not true. Dr’s are also human.

25

Re: I hate my mother

i know she is my mother and she loves me inside but she is ill. She is much better now, she isnt a psycho she went through PSYCHOSIS.

you misunderstand me, Im not here to say i'm doing an ehsan on her by looking after her I just need some reassurance and a hug or kiss from my mother, Is that so much to ask for?

EMM I guess you have always had a mothers love

my mother has been depressed since I was born. haha she has never hugged me or told me that she loves me. I know she loves me a lot but it hurts when she can never tell me that even though she expresses her love to her nephews n nieces...

the major part of her depression went away when I was 16, I used to stand up for her against ppl she couldn't stand up to in the past. she learnt to have confidence and love herself through me, I tried to teach her all the good stuff so sadly when she became better our relationship suffered and we never really bonded as mother and child.

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Re: I hate my mother

to me it seems like fraudia and iconoclast are the only ones that make sense in a situation like this. sometimes the relationship between the mother and the child is not always peachy keen, with every thing perfect. it's always give and take, and when there is some sort of disturbance, it can be very hard for others to wrap their heads around that.

chunni i don't think it is too much to ask for some sign from your mother that she has some affection. but it's not like she doesn't feel any sort of love towards you. it just might be that the situation just makes it harder for her to express it. normally you can show love and affection towards others, but when it comes to your own...it just is harder for some reason.

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Re: I hate my mother

hey CM.. i think you have a right to say what yu wish and how you wish and just because we say something which dispapoints us about our parents doesn’t make us bad..
I really feel for you hun and realise how hard it is to miss out on hugs and kisses..

Usually children who have parents who are loving can sometimes not realise what you’re going through . but what I will agree on with everyone who posted is that you need to do YOUR best and RESPECT her.. insh’allah ALLAH ji aajr dain ge.. and please please pray there is nothing as great as prayer..

Big :hug:

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Re: I hate my mother

Munni, you just need to be strong and try to find out the right support services available in your area. I had some young carers students at school, they are very brave like yourself. Teaching staff have a key role in the early identification of young people experiencing problems and are in the position to take supportive action that will allow pupils to identify themselves as a young carer.
Proper support system is in place for their education, health and well being.
In legislation they are defined:
“Young carers are Young people (up to the age of 18 years) who are affected by chronic illness or disability of a family member and who provide them with care and support. Physical disability, learning disability, mental illness, substance misuse and HIV/AIDS are the primary categories of illness/disability likely to affect young carers”.
Young carers will often be responsible for a great deal of their own care. Most young carers care for parents or siblings, but they may also care for grandparents, other family members or friends, Young children who are very young. For example, a six or seven year old who regularly checks that a sibling is safe and well in another room in the house because the parent is physically disabled is carrying out caring tasks beyond what might be considered normal.

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Re: I hate my mother

exactly....one cant expect normal behavior given her illness...nor should they expect affection.

u will get rewarded for taking care of your mother.... if not in this life then in the hereafter...inshAllah. Be patient!

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Re: I hate my mother

I am surprised that being in the healthcare field, you have ignored the very basics. YOU need as much counselling and support from a QUALIFIED THERAPIST or support group for caregivers , as your mom needs therapy for her illness.

That is pretty much the first thing they din into you in the first weeks of a psych rotation at med school or just plain old nursing studies.

Please get help for yourself too. I think taking care of her will be less of a burden for you, if you have worked out your own feelings about being an intensive caregiver for your mom.

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Re: I hate my mother

i’ll be honest with you
when i saw the title of this thread i thought “oh no…not another girl like me :rolleyes:” but when i read all the comments…i can see what a strong girl you must be :D…i feel for you…and yeah its not fair on u that u gta take care of her THAT MUCH coz she’s ill…i hope that you realise she doesnt hate you…it’s probably her illness :bummer:

May Allah listen to your prayers and help you through this Ameen :hugz:

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Re: I hate my mother

my mom is an angel but i know that there are some mothers who are mentally ill and can't take the stress and they take it out on their kids its not that i dont disagree with my mom or never argue with her but i always remember that she is the one who has spent sleepless nights for me educated me given me good values and has taught me to respect others and have done alot so what if she takes it out on me but i know that she loves me to bits when ever i am ill it seems as she is the one who is having more pains trust me CM you will get reward for looking after your mom and one thing DO NOT listen to any one outside just try to stay calm i know it is hard at times but this is the best thing you can do:)
best of luck in life and i pray that things between u and your mom get better and remember that mothe has a higher place on earth so try to respect her as much as you can :) we will all realise what a mom is i think when we will become parents :)

~~~ Missing someone ~~~
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Re: I hate my mother

you are so sweet coz you are still thinking that you can not leave your mom :hugz: but be more patience and try to stay calm you can share things with me if you like or any one who you trust :slight_smile: and its good to take it out some times but never say these things to ur mom coz it will make things worst, i didn’t understood one thing why does she tell ur dad bad things about u:confused: and what bad things:confused: is she ur step mother? and dont worry about tane sweety coz moms are like this some times but they dont mean it :slight_smile:

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Re: I hate my mother

i know ke unke paon neechay jannat hai i keep telling myself that

thanks guys for your kind words and support

if i told my cousins this or my aunt/uncles/friends they would really hate me and look down on me because jo apni maa ke sath argue karta hai in reality other people dont respect that person

they just see on the outside i do everything with a smile on my face

but i always wanted a normal life..like a mom who would tell me off but then laugh with me hug me etc at the end of the day but it never happened.

s0metimes she behaves like im her sauten..so much spitefullness and mockery and hate...i really dont know what Ive done wrong...then she feels guilty and cooks food for me and buys me things but i dont want all that..i just want a normal life...

its hard

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Re: I hate my mother

yessss!.....that is what i would EXPECT them to do....after all they arent ur mum to see ur side of the story....and it's true....sayin ur problem on here is gna HELP you coz u know what no1 knows you on here and thas the best part of it!

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Re: I hate my mother

yeh dont share it with any one else share it with me instead :smiley: trust me if you look around no one has a normal life in this world :bummer: every one has a different story to tell and if you listen to them you will think that yours is not all that bad but still i will pray that Allah (swt) give you the life you are looking for:)

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Re: I hate my mother

feel sorry for you.. hope everything will turn out good in the end.. by the way don't leave her at this moment > that's all i can say

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Re: I hate my mother

Chunni,
You are not alone in this situation; there are 23% young carers in our area schools. If you feel depressed get professional support form GP, involve your siblings and dad in caring of your mom. You need counselling for yourself, only speak to the people who have care responsibilities or either they are professionals.
For carers caring allowance is available. They can get support worker to give them hand. Please try to find the right support for yourself, where you would be able to share your feelings and can get the right advice on day to day basis.

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Re: I hate my mother

Chunni-munni, aap ko shayad abhi iss umar main maa ki ahmiyat ka andaaza na ho....lekin maan se barhi duniya main koii neimat nahiin,sachha pyaar is duniya main agar koii kerta hai tau sirf aur sirf aik maa.

aap Namaaz parhein aur aaytal kursi aur chaaron qul ka vird kertii rahein ,aap ko sukoon milega.

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Re: I hate my mother

I had a similar situation with my mom as yours.but not that my mom was mentally ill but yes she saw a hard life.but now that i hav kids of my own,my view is totally changed.my mom n i r on good terms now.If u r optimist u can handle things in a better way.just b patient n ignore.She'll realize ur efforts sooner or later.Either strict or lenient remember there's no substitute to ur parents not even a life partner.this is my experience.