i have been married for 5 yrs i have a son.My problem is that at this stage i have actually starting hating my husband believe me i find him repulsive
HEs always cornered me out always wanted me to lick her mothers feet she abuses me my parents openly behind and infront of her son his brothers and sis do the same thing and my husband only says that its ok u should be the one to compromise u r the outsider aur tum ney hi hamaray dil jeetney hain believe me people im fed up now i cant take it now and i really really truely hate my husband
Am i being abnormal or r there any more of u who share the same prob???/
Re: i hata my husband
I cannot understand the point of this thread.
Do you just want to rant and rave about your husband and MIL ?
Are you looking for more miserable souls to start a club ?
Do you want to hire a hit man to get rid of your husband ?
Looking for serious advice on how to turn the situation around and live happily ever after ?
If you have been married for 5 years and have a kid then I guess things were not like this for some years in the beginning and something has changed .
So what has changed ?
Once we get the answers to these question then we can better help you with appropriate advice. For example if you are looking for a hit man then you will get advice on where and how to find one.:)
Re: i hata my husband
^excellent points Mirch!
Very sad to hear lilli. You have to do something about this - sounds like commuinication isnt going on between you and hubby. And if you are always sour and non-communicative (I'm sure he picks up on your "repulsion" of him) then he will not be inclined to hear you out yeah? Perhaps try to spark things up, make yourself lovely and LOVING once again. THEN - communicate with the man you married! When a marriage is a precious thinig to each partner, things tend to wrok out nicely.
Good luck!
Re: i hata my husband
Bas issi ki kami reh gai thi..
Re: i hata my husband
Communicate with him....desi women have issues with that it seems.
Re: i hata my husband
don't say that you hate your husband, MIL can't be just the reason of hating your own husband? - Just communicate and InshaAllah things will get better very soon. [remove this thing from your mind 1st that you can ever "hate" your husband] - other than post the actual things who turned your relationship into hatred.
Re: i hata my husband
Try and convince him to move out and get your own place.
Communicate with him....desi women have issues with that it seems.
Honestly Angel, why is it that communication with desi men never works? It seems as if a direct approach always gets you nowhere. But if you take the back road into their brains...it seems to be okay.
^ exactly…
It saddens me to hear someone say that they hate their husband…the father of their child. 
Hate is such a strong word…you cant possibly hate him because of your in-laws. There must be things you love about him as well…focus on those.
Honestly Angel, why is it that communication with desi men never works? It seems as if a direct approach always gets you nowhere. But if you take the back road into their brains...it seems to be okay.
I suppose it depends on the guy and where he was raised. Where I am from men appreciate a woman who is able to communicate her thoughts well. They cant stand mind games and having to read between the lines.
But if you take the back road into their brains...it seems to be okay.
To be honest I do not understand what you mean by that , can you please explain ? Thanks in advance.
Re: i hata my husband
To me, it seems like times are changing. The girls that are born and raised here, are no longer happy if they are married off to total strangers by their parents, who most of the times come from back home.
i have been married for 5 yrs i have a son.My problem is that at this stage i have actually starting hating my husband believe me i find him repulsive HEs always cornered me out always wanted me to lick her mothers feet she abuses me my parents openly behind and infront of her son his brothers and sis do the same thing and my husband only says that its ok u should be the one to compromise u r the outsider aur tum ney hi hamaray dil jeetney hain believe me people im fed up now i cant take it now and i really really truely hate my husband Am i being abnormal or r there any more of u who share the same prob??????/
Lilly, it seems as if your MIL forgot what it was like to be a DIL. Maybe you need to remind her? Maybe they are jealous of you on some level? Maybe something happened in the past where you said something and they misunderstood?
What is with this husband who says "tumney humare dil jeetney hein"? Agar dil nahin jeeta hota to shaadi kaise hoti? And since when are you the outsider? You are his wife now and half of what he is has your name stamped on it in big black ink. Dont forget.
Are you living with all of these people? Who is in your home? Who do you interact with on a daily basis? You should work from the ground up and concentrate on the people you are in immediate contact with first.
Re: i hata my husband
divorce him.
Try and convince him to move out and get your own place.
If you say that to him directly, he might listen BUT there is a higher chance he will go the opposite way and think you are trying to separate him from his family.
Sure, moving out may put a band aid on the situation but the problem is respect. Where is the mutual respect?
divorce him.
She has a 5 year old child though in this equation. Divorce may not be that easy for her. We dont even know where she is and what the laws are there. Will she be taken care of? Also, maybe she wants to preserve the family for the sake of her baby?
If you say that to him directly, he might listen BUT there is a higher chance he will go the opposite way and think you are trying to separate him from his family.
Sure, moving out may put a band aid on the situation but the problem is respect. Where is the mutual respect?
If he has any aqal left, he wil see that the lady is in pain and his immediate family chaki main pis rahi hai.
To me, it seems like times are changing. The girls that are born and raised here, are no longer happy if they are married off to total strangers by their parents, who most of the times come from back home.
more and more girls nowadays know what they want and they demand that their needs be met........thats why. before girls just went with what their parents wanted and just went with the flow of things even if they were not happy they made the most of it.
What I mean by that is you always have to figure out a way to make guys think a certain way. And to be honest, sure it works but its too much drama and why should I have to play mental politics with my husband? Isnt this supposed to be my best friend too now? Why cant I look him straight in the eye and tell him how I feel?
If desi guys were not that easily manipulated by friends and family, women would not have to resort to such tactics. If men were independant thinkers, women would have no need for this. We hate the feeling of not being able to turn to our other half for understanding and support.
If you have an independant desi man who is fully capable of using his own brain to make his own decisions and come to his own conclusions/judgements WITHOUT being easily influenced, you’ve got to clone him! I want one too!!!
If he has any aqal left, he wil see that the lady is in pain and his immediate family chaki main pis rahi hai.
He is calling his wife an outsider himself (even though its his job to never let her feel that way) and saying she has to work her arse off to win the hearts of his entire family, neighborhood as well as the President of Pakistan.
She has a 5 year old child. What concerns me here is all this happening in front of that little boy? Is he watching his mama get disrespected by his father and his entire dadial? What kind of values will he grow up with if this continues to happen? How will he end up treating women?
Aqal ka kahin naam o nishan nazar araha hai apko?