This is a very heated subject, obviously, and there is enough hurt and mistakes made on BOTH sides to last a lifetime. When it comes down to it, OP is a big girl. Whether or not she chooses to adhere to her upbringing and live her life in accordance to the faith she professes to believe in is irrelevant at this stage in the game.
The bed has been made. She will have to sleep in it for the rest of her life, regardless if she marries the bf or not.
Such is life. And a life lived without learning from mistakes is a waste of God's time and efforts, if you ask me.
Starts with the 'lil things......stubbing your toe.....one red traffic light after another.....piano falls on your head. That's how you know that you have erred.
^^ zipping through the toll booth without paying, “sampling” the grapes in the produce section, running the dishwasher/washing machine before putting the detergent in, cutting yourself on the same finger twice while slicing aloo (still hurts by the way :()
What I meant was that OP's choice to carry on a relationship which seems doomed from the start, essentially ambushing her parents with the said relationship, exchanging heated words and ultimately walking out of their house/home...all **wrong
OP's parents ghusaa, getting swept away in the mob like mentality of the "family friends", cursing their own child and essentialy kicking her out of the house...all **wrong as well
These two wrongs put together can never be right. Ghalti sab se hoti hay. Ghalti karna, chahay banda barra ho ya chota, insaan ki fitrat may hain...
There is no justification for lashing out in an immature/angry manner just because you feel like you have been wronged.
Oh, is that what he meant??? I didn’t realize that…
I’m curious.. a lot of posts on here with questions on credit cards and paying for hotels.
I work, why wouldn’t I be able to stay at a hotel? It’s not that unusual.
Also, I haven’t had a row of this kind of proportion with my parents ever. Like I said I wasn’t thinking straight. It doesn’t make me a troll..
I’m calmer now.
To diwana about the my ranting,
No, I don’t accept I’ve done anything terrible. I’ve fallen in love with someone they don’t approve of - that’s all. It’s not a calamity, and apart from his religion there is no other way he doesn’t live up to what they would want in a son in law.
Updates***
I got to office late today.( Yes, I decided to go to office, anything rather than sit in that room thinking things over.).
My mother and bf were waiting for me nearby. They’d been waiting since morning apparently for me to turn up.
Mom and dad apparently had this flaming row after I left and the friends did too. She said she had demanded that he go after me. He obviously refused, but did not prevent her when she said she would be going to office in the morning to fetch me back.
So like I said my bf was worried and decided to turn up at office too, Since they now do recognize each other, I introduced them. Bf told mom he had been waiting here since he hadn’t heard from me and couldn’t reach me on the phone. Mom didn’t say anything, but was not too openly hostile to him either - just didn’t say anything.
Anyway, I’ve said I’ll go home again after office. Mom did say - “Whatever it is - we’ll talk it through. There won’t be any walking out…”
When he’d left, she did ask me details of who he was and what he did etc…
Is that a positive sign…???
Hooraaay for moms
I don't know if that's a positive sign. Might be a false positive. I have read about many interracial relationships like this where the mom is outwardly nice in the beginning but inwardly seething.
Alhumdolillah, things are heading in a more positive direction. Try to be careful with how you communicate your views to them......and carefully consider their concerns also. Lashing out at them (and vice versa) will just make everyone defensive...and won't lead anywhere.
Ok, also BF called to say "Give it a couple of days and then get your mom to meet me. Let me talk to her and convince her I mean well..".
His idea is, she's the only one among the four who we can possibly get on board, and then let's just go ahead and get married. The rest of them can come around in their own time".
