To cut a long story short - I’ve broken the news of my boyfriend to my parents.
Actually, it would be fair to say they found out themselves having suspected something was amiss for quite some time now.
Some busybodies from the mosque we frequent caught sight of me and my BF at some desi restaurant a couple of times and of course couldn’t be expected to keep it to themselves! One man - not a family friend, from the mosque finally decided to accost my father and let him know in no uncertain terms and all hell broke loose.
Last night, I let my boyfriend drop me off closer to home since it was later than usual and family and ‘family friends’ were waiting. I know it’s starting to sound like a bad movie script and I’m writing this all disjointed, but bear with me.
Fortunately nobody started shouting till we went into the apartment. They first yelled at my BF to get out of the place - he hesitated, but I told him to go home and I would call in the morning thinking it would be easier that way.
I’ll spare you the details. There were horrible things said and a lot of crying on my mom’s part and mine, and my dad finally asked me to get the hell out of his home. I didn’t know what to think or do- grabbed my handbag and left.
Alright, so I checked into a hotel so I had time to think..I haven’t called my BF yet today and left my cell phone home. So, I don’t know what he’s thinking and am kind of feeling numb.
I’m not able to think cogently at this point.. so what now..? What should I do next..?
room with friends if possible or other family members that don't hate your gut right now. physically distance yourself for a few days to let everyone cool down and try to initiate contact with your family and explain your situation to them. are you in a serious relationship with your bf?
Let your family cool down for a bit. Stay in touch with your mom or dad - whoever is willing to talk to you. It doesn't matter how upset they are...just make sure you stay in touch.
Apologize. You have to realize its a horrible way to find out about your daughter's choices like this. Your father was probably humiliated when told by outsiders. He lost his temper.
You should have thought about it before making your own decisions to go against your family wishes and expectations.
Why do you want to live in a house and deliberately hurt people who you live with? Seriously!
Either convince them you are right or move out. Simple.
Ask your BF to take you as a wife and move at his house.
And why blame people who told your family? You were in a public place, you came home with him!
Go home and apologize. You obviously said some stuff to your parents that prompted that reaction. And yes the fact that you say "Its more complicated than that" definitely indicates you are to blame for something.
So you think its ok to hurt your parents feelings, just because your an only child? I personally could not care less what you do in your life, but obviously they do and its them you are hurting.
OP: you are adult and you have your own life and you better know your situation.
it was clearly indicated in your previous thread that your family will not going to support your decision. Now, you should move on and do whatever you planned with your BF.
if you want to make your parents happy then abandon your BF and act on the terms of your parents.
After all the discussion on the other thread how could u be so careless in meeting him in restaurants every other day. well achcha hova unhain pata chal gaya, aik din tu chalna he tha. Now u too meet up n decide wats ur next step.
CM,
I didn't mean to make myself out to be blameless.. lots of tactless things were said all around. I'm not standing on my pride either. I guess I just need time to think calmly.
Among other things I told him the man I'd found for myself was fat better than any he'd managed to find for me so far ..stupid thing to say I know.. but yeah.. emotions were running high.
My mom also chose the moment to say his becoming over-religious had driven me away. Gulp! It didn't help.
It is funny she chose a Hindu BF knowing that even moderate muslim would not accept for their children, yet expecting family to support her, and asking on GS to advice (also knowing most of us here are Muslim (although modern but everyone has their own thresh-hold).
All we can say since you made a decision, (if you feel this is the only thing important to you then) just accept the consequences and move on with the life.
I just pray Allah to give you wisdom and Hidayat to take right path.
