I got thrown out of home ...now what?

Lifestyle Relationships
21

Re: I got thrown out of home …now what?

You left your cellphone and you are using computer from hotel?

You must be ‘independent’ and have funds to afford a hotel in NY area…etc. :hmmm:

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Re: I got thrown out of home ...now what?

tipusultan: calm down. many people already advised her in previous thread. now situation is different. she is sitting helplessly in hotel room. here we need to suggest her only workable solutions.

23

Re: I got thrown out of home ...now what?

I read most of the posts from the other thread. Theorist, IceSoul, Seshrysh and llxxll gave good advice. I though llxxll (post 202) gave the best advice. It was honest, sincere and non-judgmental. I suggest you read that advice slowly and let in sink in.

Good luck.

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Re: I got thrown out of home ...now what?

^
Thanks. I'm kind of panicking here.
To Diwana..I left my cell phone, I'm using a Kindle, yes.

25

Re: I got thrown out of home ...now what?

your priorities in your life will help you to select your next course of action.

26

Re: I got thrown out of home ...now what?

Make life easy for everyone.

First I thought you were kinds teenager then had to think a bit more when you showed some Independent acts.

Are you really sure you want to live a life with so many complexities? If yes. Go ahead. Go with your BF. Then you may not have a right to judge your family/friends etc. etc.

**Love is blind but one must be ready to pay the price for walking blindly.

What if he leaves you one day and his "love bhoot" disappers and your "love bug" dies?**

27

Re: I got thrown out of home …now what?

How long can you afford living in a hotel? Do you think you can afford enough to possibly move out? I know it sounds extreme but I think it was careless of your parents to kick you out of the house at night like that and expect you to fend for yourself. If I were you, and could afford to rent my own place or share w/ a roommate etc, I would prove to my family exactly how well I could fend for myself. It’s not practical and probably not something most people would agree upon but I have no respect for parents who can treat their kids this way over things like a relationship with someone, different religion or not, and that too from the account of SOMEONE else. If you can afford to do that, I would go back and get my things and start over. If you feel scared, have a cop escort you while you gather your things.

If you cannot afford to and must go back home, you have to either make them understand the situation with your boyfriend. If he has to convert for them to agree, ask if he’s willing to. Also, you should call him and let him know what happened. I’m sure he doesn’t want you being alone and feeling isolated at a time like this.

I’m sorry you’re going through this, desi parents can be such hard-you-know-whats about these things. I understand different religion doesn’t always translate well but still, kicking a daughter out of the house at night? :smack:

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Re: I got thrown out of home ...now what?

how did you forget your cell ph at home but not the laptop. Do you have a hotel close by your house, like walking distance? How are you paying for the hotel? Do you have a credit card?

29

Re: I got thrown out of home …now what?

I can afford to live in a hotel - or on my own. It’s just that I’ve never stayed away from home and parents - not even with girl friends. My parents tended to be over protective that way - one of my pet peeves.
I also can’t believe I actually did walk out and perhaps I shouldn’t have. I should have stood my ground and argued it out. I was just outraged that he told me to get out in front of all those ppl - busybodies, no matter what Diwana says :mad:.
I will also admit I expected some frantic emails etc when I didn’t turn up till the morning.. Nothing, nada. Just frantic emails from BF demanding to know where I am and if he should call the police.. sheesh! That irritated me too - quite unreasonably. Does he really think my parents are that backward that they would do me violence?
I feel like I’ve been pitched into the middle of a melodrama and wondering how I got myself here.

30

Re: I got thrown out of home ...now what?

I am not sure how good the guy is or how much in love you are. But no man or woman is worth destroying your relationship with your parents. Your parents are your blood. The guy or gal may just up and leave you some day.

31

Re: I got thrown out of home ...now what?

Kindle.. I use a kindle from my handbag. I had my phone in my hand and put it down somewhere - it's not the first time it's happened either.

32

Re: I got thrown out of home ...now what?

Get yourself a place, become independent. And make amends with your parents.

33

Re: I got thrown out of home …now what?

well said.

:d6c:

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Re: I got thrown out of home ...now what?

^
Why shoudn't this apply in reverse as well..? No man is worth ruining your relationship with your daughter or throwing her out of your house...

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Re: I got thrown out of home ...now what?

^ Who says it doesn't? Your parents aren't blameless. But you cannot control their behavior, nor are you held accountable for it.

You can control your own. Do all that you can.

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Re: I got thrown out of home ...now what?

Farimasait- as you already know your marriage if you decide to go through with it will be invalid islamically. However I feel that doesn't bother you. What you are doing is a sin. I cannot predict the future but I can say that you have a very rough road ahead of you.
No one is worth what your doing to your parents. Marriage is a lot more than just love. Your not accepting that. Your constantly making excuses when everyone is telling you what your doing is wrong. Your mind is clearly made up.
It's about time you get married since that is what will end up happening anyways. Just remember the pain and anguish your causing your parents who fed you clothed you took care of you taught you to walk taught you to eat and wiped away your tears. You have just turned around and given them more tears. You should be very proud of yourself. Your saying their destroying their relationship with you? Honey their looking out for you. They want whats best for you. Any decent muslim parents would flip out ok.
Not only are you going against them but most importantly your going against almighty Allah. I hope your prepared for your future.
So go on and go get married already because you have already made up your mind.
Good luck.

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Re: I got thrown out of home …now what?

Obviously he’s concerned, you’re at fault here for not at least calling him up. If you think you and your bf will eventually get married and you trust he’ll be there for you, you should just move out, become independent and prove that you can live away from your parents. Parents will eventually come around. Just call them up in the morning and ask if you can talk. Also, I cannot believe these random people showed up to your house to watch the drama go down. That may have triggered your dad’s harsh reaction too.

38

Re: I got thrown out of home ...now what?

Yes but I can tell you sided with your man against your father did you not?

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Re: I got thrown out of home …now what?

Because he loves you tons na!

Why would he think of these when he does not even know what happened and where you are? That is a bit too early for him to think like that. Its not like you have been missing for months or you were advertised as missing person. On what ground he will call the police?

Now you are not making sense. I smell something else in your intention.

…By the way, you still do not know how you got where you are?

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Re: I got thrown out of home ...now what?

agreed