I got thrown out of home ...now what?

STA · February 8, 2012, 9:34pm

Re: I got thrown out of home …now what?

Now I’ll say something to you (OP) that no one else has bothered saying. If you were my best friend, I would have forced you to snap out of it and would have told you to snip it at the roots, before it became a bud and blossomed. This has OBVIOUSLY clouded your religious beliefs, made you confused and blind. This has caused problems with your parents!! Forget religion or being a Muslim, what kind of a daughter are you? I would NEVER do something against my parents wishes and HELLOOOOOO! Marriage is such a HUGE thing. When a daughter is born, the parents start planning for her future and save up. Go through hardships and do god knows what to raise her with dignity and respect in the community and in return they have basic few expectations and they full well have the right to have them! What gives you the right to humiliate them, hurt them and cause them distress like this? What have you done for your parents?

Let me tell you this. I was deeply in love with a Hindu guy. Yes, just like you I met him in University. (Undergrad).** I am not far off your age group either, I am 22. So in age, I am just like you too.** He was in love with me as well. We initially were the best of friends. Yes, religion was not an issue in the beginning because who cares about religion when you are just hanging out etc right? No one does. However, we both realised around the same time, that things will become complicated when it came to marriage. I am alhumdullilah a Muslim and he was/is a staunch Brahmin Hindu. He wasn’t willing to convert and I wasn’t willing to convert. Our beliefs didn’t match. My nature is, I cannot talk to or befriend people that go completely against my belief system, so how could I marry someone like that? We both had a mature talk, where we decided mutually that even though we love each other, this isn’t feasible. This would be sheer stupidity, since my family would probably say NO and his family had already said no. We both came to the conclusion that marriage could not be on the cards, so why ‘hang around’ with one another.

Slowly, we both distanced ourselves from one another and pretended to be friends, but even that faded away. Hardly have talked to him in 6 months. I could never have married him, no matter how much I love him, because for me, my love for my mother is greater than my love for anyone else. I can never hurt her. Plus for me, my religion and belief is really important. My advice to you would be, seriously think this through. Have a serious discussion with your boy friend about the future plans. This does not look good that his mother and family are not forthcoming. Would he be able to live away from his parents/mum in the case that you both get married and she stops talking to him? There are so many questions that you seriously have to think over here and answer in your head, before you can even take such a radical and big step such as marriage, that also to someone from an other religion.

hence proved.