Re: I feel stuck stuck stuck
Spoko, I'm no expert or anything, but I am gona tell u something from my experience...
My husband, whom i knew for 5 years b4 marrying, whom i had a love/arranged marriage with, was the same, he was not interested in wedding stuff, he used to say that theres no need to do all this extra stuff its a waste of money blah blah... and we argued A LOT!! over silly things which became something huge just because the arguements got heated n we both said things we don't mean... but we kept it between ourselves, never involved our parents, because it was all silly & we used to be back to normal after 10 mins. U shudn't worry about him saying "ill fix u" i doubt he meant it, he probably said it out of anger, men hav anger issues, u just hav to learn to deal with it like i have, in time u learn how to "manipulate" the situation so to speak, women are more powerful than men think, and its best to let them think they are right all the time. If he wants u to ask him, then ask him, but do it in a way where he HAS to agree with u.. men hav to think things are happening their way but actually its happenin ur way, he just thinks its his way...
tht sounds really horrible of me but its the truth lol i'm not saying i do this all the time, my hubby makes me feel like the most important and most loved person on the planet so i in turn do the same for him :)
& think positive all the time, pray to Allah to giv u strength and make this marriage last, if u love him then make it work. b4 i got married i used to think a lot that im gona b miserable because of the argueing BUT ive never been happier Allhumdullilah.
The whole bidh issue, he lied to his mother, which means he knows he was wrong but didnt want to admit it to his mother so he made something up to save face, i know it made u look bad but maybe he didnt think it would get back to you... he's probably loving the freedom he has and marriage means responsibilities and less freedom so he's getting frustrated and edgy, especially since the big day is so close. It seems like u guys have conflicting opinions on some matters, marriage is all about compromise, 2 people have to join and think like 1 person on a lot of matters, its hard to adjust but once u do, life is a lot easier...
u need to ask urself if he is worth the trouble, ask him if hes happy with this marriage, express to him that compromises will hav to be made, from him aswell, thers no rule that says women hav to listen to men, no!! its not a 1 way street...
Oh i also wanted to say that, his mother, whether shes there or not, shud be the one sorting out the bidh, you dont need to get involved, if they dont provide it then it will look bad on them not you, so dont worry.. its strange that her son is getting married and shes not even telling him to sort things out! hmmm :/
Im sorry if i said anything that u felt was wrong, just trying to help you out, may Allah help you in every possible way. x