I feel stuck stuck stuck

[blessed2006]

Re: I feel stuck stuck stuck

@spoko

My nikah is in 2 weeks and I am feeling horribly stuck. I was so happy last week but it all went downhill then. I asked my fiancé to please check out the photographer so we could hire him. He refused because he said that he was too tired. He wasn’t tired when he was chatting it up with his buddies on fb at 4am. When I Hired the photographer myself and told him the appointment time on his fb wall he got mad that I did it without asking him and he blocked me from his fb cuz he doesn’t want anyone to know about the nikah until after it has taken place. Since his mom isn’t here my mom asked me to ask him if he knew about the bidh. He said that he neither knew nor cared. When I got mad and refused to talk to him he said that he will ‘fix’ me after nikah. I in return told him that I would divorce him as soon as we were married. I made a mistake saying that because then his mom and him called my house and told my patents that I wasn’t interested in marriage anymore. My parents literally begged me crying and telling me to keep their izzat because everything is booked already. They made me call his mom and apologize. Everyone is blaming me for being so immature and getting mad over small things. Both his mom and mine told me to learn to ignore some things cuz ‘mard kabhi nahi badalta’. My mom has forbidden me to talk to him until after the nikah now. Am I really being immature? Isn’t it his responsibility to at least show a little care? I become extremely upset thinking about my nikah day, which until last week I considered to be the happiest day of my life. I am too scared now to even say anything to anyone anymore because I don’t want my parents to cry because of me again.

end of my rant

he sounds rubbish and immature. really bad on his parts. i know this is hard for you since you dont even have your parents support. if you had their support you would have fixed him.

by this what i am assuming is that in future if she does something stupid and then u say something he will call your parents and complain about you. which will be very bad. no girl or boy wants to see their parents sad.

I have 2 options for you:

1. think about whether are you ready to tolerate this behaviour of his in future? if yes go ahead with the marriage.

2. if its no then think about ending this relationship here. only you can take this decision since you know the best that how much of your "no "will effect your parents.

“When I got mad and refused to talk to him he said that he will ‘fix’ me after nikah”
that very very rude of him. if i was you i would have fixed him there and then.

btw i’ll say that before you take any step. just explain all this each and everything to your parents. including all the comments he made. see what they have to say.

good luck