I feel stuck stuck stuck

[redvelvet]

Re: I feel stuck stuck stuck

@spoko

He was telling his mom (who won’t be at the nikah but be a part of rulhsati) that he wanted to do bidh boxes but I told him that there is no need. He even lied about the photographer thing saying that I never told him anything. These issues may seem childish but to me these small things mattered a lot. Well not anymore I guess. I don’t even want to be a part of this wedding anymore, let alone any arrangements.

SO, he wanted to have bidh boxes. Is that the WORST thing in the world? Frankly speaking…the boxes can be a refreshing change from the the little net bidh pouches that are commonly seen. It’s not only your wedding, Spoko. It’s his as well…and you can’t control every little detail. Once you do that, he’ll feel stifled…and then he’ll resent you…and try to find ways to get the “control” back. And people can sometimes resort to immature behavior (lying, etc) to get the control back. The boxes can be a cute idea. Hear him out, listen to what he says. Compromise. WHen he does something right…compliment him. If he has a great idea…acknowledge it.

Let’s say that he did indeed “lie” to his mom…lying is not the only problem he has. He “runs” and complains to mommy. So after the wedding…whenever he has little arguments with you…is he going to run to his mommy and tattle? (Nope, not saying that you should do that with your mom either). This is another thing that needs to be discussed. You guys should work like a team…and that’s not happening. If you want to marry him…then you need to bring it up with him that you have to work together together…and try to solve problems on your own…as opposed to involving the parents all the time.