Recently, my SIL (nand) had a stay over at our house. She stayed for about a week and everything went well.
One night, she came to me, and told me she needs to discuss with me something. When I asked her what’s that, she said, N (my Jithani) has told me several things about you, that you spoke about us (both nands). Her tone was quite polite because she was not in a fighting mood but she wanted to make things clear.
After hearing whatever she said, I was quite shocked to listen everything for I said none of it. (I dont feel necessary to share “gossips” she was told that I said, which I never did actually).
I made things clear to my SIL and proved her logically which she understood eventually and things between us are perfect now. I also told her, that I am ready to have a face-to-face conversation when she is sitting next to me to clear things more and ask her directly why the hell she did it…I was really angry too and really wanted to have a face to face talk.
When two of us were talking, meanwhile my hubby called, I discussed it with him in front of my SIL and told him that I need to talk to N for why she is spreading rumors about me or why she is back stabbing and blaming me for something I never did.
My hubby stopped me. He said, NO! You dont need to. He said, you know the kind of woman she is, and all she wants is a Big Drama Fight when all are at home.. My hubby also told me, things will be cleared eventually but at the end of the day, peole will remember… Jab Queen pakistan aai thi to bohat bari larai hoi thii… and even when you are not wrong… people will somehow try to drag you in that crap!! So dont be a reason of any fight and leave her!! You have cleared things with my sis, she has understood your point, now leave it!! Stay normal and dont change your behavior towards her.
I told him, but by this, people around can think, because I really said all that crap, I am afraid to face her… and my hubby said, let all of them know that I have stopped you of doing that so.. (Mind, my hubby holds a special place in the home.. he is the one, who they consult anytime or everytime for any problem.. and “they” means, every person of the house including my parent-in-law!!)
because my SIL was sitting next to me and could hear the discussion between us, she could say nothing and my explanation, that your brother doesnt want me to clear things, was kind of enough for her and she said, of course leave it (everyone listens to my hubby and takes his decision as a final decision).
All this time, I kept on feeling how strange my jithani was reacting and guess she was expecting a fight or an argument from my side..(she was well-aware that my SIL will surely discuss things with me and then it will lead to a fight). I didnt change my behavior at all although I was really angry over her but just to avoid the fight, I stayed calm.
Its been several days now… she is getting back to normal and so I am but in heart… I am really feeling bad. Bad not in sense like I need to fight with her, bad in sense, I dont like munafiqat and this thing is killing me inside.. I laugh with her, talk with her but inside I am quite disturbed.. how can she be fine again? what she thinks that I dont know what rubbish she spread about me and yet she is laughing with me. Cracking jokes with me!!
I dont want to fight at all… but I wish if I could go to her and try to discuss/clear the issue with her.. she would not start a fight!! She would not start acting like an illiterate!!
I believe in resolving issues with discussions.. but in past, I have found her arguing every time in an illiterate tone instead a simple talk/ discussion.
My SIL also told me that N told all these things to my MIL and that my MIL told both of my SILs what N told her. I asked my MIL, what was the discussion going on when she said such things? but my MIL says, I dont remember.. I asked her, but there must be something for which she started back stabbing… any issue she might have discussed with you or anything you said to her that turned her defensive and actually blamed me for anything that never happened?? But my MIL said, Pata nahin… mujhay to kuch nahin yaad.. (I am just clueless how can she not remember what the actual conversation was going on)!!
In past, several times, I have found my SILs and MIL also spreading misconceptions between two of us (when there was a time while we two were really good in relation). This time, sometimes I feel, again they attempted the same thing and my Jithani, instead coming to me and clearing things, started defending herself and did spread statements that I never said… I know she is stupid!! I always asked her to come to me and clear misconceptions, every time she promises and every time she forgets!! Might be possible that my MIL and SIL has just discussed HER side of story with me and not “their” part of story!!
There is no issue going on currently and everything seems to be so normal BUT, I am getting back to UK soon and before coming, I was wondering if I really should clear things between us or not… I cant keep grudges in my heart, I just clear things, forgive and forget… and in case if I find myself guilty, I accept my mistake and forget… taking the burden in my heart and flying to UK seems so upsetting to me!!
Should I clear things with her before I am coming or should I leave it!! Please Suggest!
nothing is going to change… a time will come when people will know what type of ur jithanis are… koi bhi cheez chupi nahi rehti 
atleast 80% people are into this 
