suddenly, i dont know why, i feel a sudden urge of jealousy to another girl who is in my year.
She is iraqi and insanely beautiful, she is super skinny and got amazing hair. She has a perfect pakistani boyfriend who treats her amazingly well, she recently went on holiday around the orient with her best friend and the pictures look amazing and she is doing reasonably well at uni.
When i talk to her/hear about her/see pictures of her on facebook i start feeling sorry for myself.
Why cant i be so skinny and eat anything i want, why cant i find a perfect pakistani boyfriend, why dont my parents let me go travelling, travelling is something i really want to do but my parents think its weird.
Its really stupid and fickle and i feel guilty and its sickening to feel so jealous. when i talk to her im not horrible to her or anything because shes actually a very sweet girl.
dont worry, i felt the same, my parents never let me go anywhere, as in on holidays alone, i cant even stay at a mates house overnight, but it stopped bothering me afterwards. i was also jealous of super skinny girls, or girls with nicer hair..i think its normal to be honest, every girl always feels this way....i didnt realise people felt that way ABOUT ME, i was stunned when a friend of mine said she was jealous of ME.....
so i think your normal, maybe theres people who are jealous of you...all part of the cycle..
iraqi girlz are v free type so thier parents allow them to go anywhere so u must thank ur god becz ur parents are nt like her parents ur parents dont want to go becz they care of u and love u so plz dont compare ur self with iraqi u must b proud that u r pakistani ...
Jealousy is a natural feeling but you wana make sure, it doesnt get out of your control. Everytime you get this thought, pray for this girl. Your jealousy will fade away. It is from experience. I hate to admit this but I started to feel this way about a good friend because she is so beautiful mashAllah. I knew this was horrible so I started praying for her well being and it faded away.
^yup. Jealousy feels very very crappy!..it's such a negative feeling but can easily be overcome by replacing it with something positive. I went through a time when everything was taken away - health, beauty, sleep etc etc..and i used to feel jealous of people who had it. Focus on how much you are blessed with mashAllah..and be thankful :)...remember that beauty itself is a huge trial/test.
Hula nice post. I felt jealous too because of a girl in my uni. She had all the guys and stuff but she was really dumb in classes. I confided about this problem to another friend and he's like "would you rather be intelligent and have loving/caring friends or would you rather have boys and be dumb?" Something about what he said clicked and I thought, well he's still sticking around and he likes me and we are good friends. Then I started analysing my life and I thought I had it going better than her.
We all go through this jealousy thing, some of us become bitter, full of hatred towards others and suffer from an inferiority complex but most of us get over it, clear our heads and get back on track. It's up to you to think positively and just work towards yourself. She goes travelling? So will you once you graduate and start working. She has a bf, (you don't know if he will stick around forever with her) you will have a nice fiancé or husband iA, she is skinny but skinny is not everything (guys like curvy bootylicious gals more), and she has beautiful hair? You can get beautiful hair too. Get it straightened, use yoghurt, egg and lemon, do something. You make yourself feel beautiful and important. That's the most pivotal thing.
yeah it is a horrible feeling eurgh, atm i am feeling a bit meh because i was supposed to travel this summer with uni and my dad said yes and it was all paid for but my mum said no like how can we send you alone to a different country, and im not having much luck in the finding a nice guy department and her bf is a very good friend of mine who is amazing and she is stunning and amazing body mA and im really trying hard to work on me.
But i am going to try and replace it with something positve as you said and hopefully it will help, if never felt this way before and i want to stop feeling this way as soon as possible!
If it makes you feel any better, my parents are the same. My dad says yes and gives me money and then mum barges in and says how can you let her go outside or anywhere alone. Just hold on. Hopefully once you graduate and start working/making some money and start showing your mum you are a mature sensible adult and can handle yourself, she will loosen up a bit. Mine did.
^..i think everyone goes through it. You just gota make sure you work on it :) - I mean at the end of the day, you are the one who is gona feel peaceful.
You are most welcome, Inspiron. I am just passing on advice, someone I adore and love a lot from GS and who I think of as a sister, gave me when I was in your shoes and feeling jealous and down. That's the spirit mate, work on yourself. Keep looking at the future, do things which will help you do things in the future. For example, keep healthy and fit for a long healthy and fun life. Be jolly good to people to have a lot of friends and connections, few years from now. That and many things. Hahah it's okay. It doesn't sound bad at all.
aisha, thanks for your post! it really made me put things into perspective!
i am definately going to work on myself and tell myself that my time will come iA for things i desire.
and this may sound bad but im glad im not some evil hearted psycho and other girls have been through it too!
She is iraqi and insanely beautiful, she is super skinny and got amazing hair.
Why cant i be soskinny and eat anything i want,
do u mind telling me why you would want to be super skinny?
I for one would rather have a girl with a figure of Kim Kardashian than skinny models you see on runway ex. Kate Moss
you know a lot guys like girls with decent chest and curves :)
not flat girls with bones sticking out
I hate what the media has done to us. Peoples thoughts about body image is very scary these days. Super skinny is harmful. Body and the cells do need fat to continue to live on. Fats are a vital part of the body function. I am not saying everyone be fat but seriously super skinny is wrong. Just be normal BMI for your body.
well super skinny girls get the attention, people say oh its all about curves, well where is the evidence?
and it doesnt help that my mum is like 'ufff itni moti hogay ho' every time i walk past her or every time i eat dinner she tells me to eat less.
Im just gonna try and pray...be thankful for what i have.
yes if you are fit and not chubby.. most guys i have met/talk to would rather date a girl with a figure of kim kardashian than super skinny.
now if you are lil big then that's a different story.
as far as desi mentality goes.. girl with fair skin is more beautiful than a girl with tan, regardless of facial features. (for most desi ppl)
iraqi girlz are v free type so thier parents allow them to go anywhere so u must thank ur god becz ur parents are nt like her parents ur parents dont want to go becz they care of u and love u so plz dont compare ur self with iraqi u must b proud that u r pakistani ...
So girls whose parents let them go anywhere don't love them?