Re: I don't want to marry my cousin
^ well said!!!
It is certainly true that marriage requires compromise and adapting to one another, and that a husband and wife can change and grow together. It is also true that the greater experience and wisdom of parents should be respected and often obeyed.
However, that does not mean that you should accept ANYONE they or others select for you as a husband.
There is risk in every relationship, arranged or love. In the end, marriage isn't about how you get there, but what happens once you ARE there. You will grow and change during the course of your lifetime together, and so will whoever becomes your husband. In the end, you need to have the maturity, trust, affection, and respect for each other to continue to make a life together, even as you change.
If you are old enough to get married, you are old enough to take responsibility for your decisions and your future. It is not appropriate to practice blind obedience so you never have to make a decision or take responsibility for your actions. If that is your attitude, then you are not ready for marriage. But that doesn't seem to be your attitude. You seem to feel very strongly that your cousin is NOT the right man for you. Think about it very carefully. Pray. If you are certain that this man cannot be a partner for your future, then you have to say so very clearly. No ambiguity, no hesitation. If you are not sure, then you need to talk to your cousin and hear from him as well. In the meantime, you must tell the elders in your family that you are not ready to commit to him yet, as this does not yet feel like a good decision.
Be aware that cousin marriages (even engagements) carry a greater deal of complexity, because problems in the marriage become problems in the extended family. Before there are any announcements made, you need to be certain and very clear.
the psychologist is back, wow.
Please do CONSULT Allah and do the Isitikhara or ask anyone of your family to do it if you can't. Allah is a great help. Try to understand. Do Istikhara and if you get a dream shown which is not good then you EVEN have a valid proof to say No to the wedding as I would guess that your cousin or your future in-laws would bother till your soul is death, you give up and make a decision you would never have done.
Always calculate the worst case scenario, having done that, CONSULT Allah if you want to be saved. And this is not a fairytale. It is the truth :)
May Allah guard you :)
Re: I don't want to marry my cousin
^ Just a note, after doing istikharah it's not necessary one sees a dream which is good or bad. It's just a feeling that exists, and it inclines to that which Allah decides is good for you. After that it's upto you if you follow that feeling or not.
Allah'u'Aalim.
:)