Re: I don't want to marry my cousin
Don't compromise and be upfront, parents won't like it and may go agianst you and brainwash you etc, but who said life was easy eh? with hardships come ease. Constantly pray and ask the Almighty to ease things for you, if possible perform thajjhad - he surely will give you positive feedbacks inshAllah.
Re: I don't want to marry my cousin
Just say no, you are entitled to it. Do not marry someone you have no feelings for, or cannot relate.
Re: I don't want to marry my cousin
Tell your parents that marriage with cousin is haram...lol ( I know it is not so don't get on me but it is a good excuse and a tested one..lol...)
you sound just like my cousin in toronto...she got married to my cousin in pakistan. he is a pretty nice guy, not backwards, but the thing is they are not compatible at all. he speaks mostly punjabi and listens to ghazals; she skateboards and blasts emo music whenever her saas comes over.
her mom was afraid of her getting kharab at college so she sort of pressured her to accept the rishta. it's been 2 years and they live like roommates. they have a good comfort level but they never really fell 'in love' and seriously...i would be surprised if they reproduce. at the mangni time, i was begging her to back out, but she kept on worrying that her mami already bought the jewelry, that she would embarrass her family, etc. now she regrets but she is even more stuck than before. returning jewelry is easier than returning to one's maeka.
my advice...if you just say no outright it'll become a ego clash...your parents will think you're doing naa farmaani. just say something like "i can't see myself living with him, i see him as a brother. just give me 2 years and let me get my life settled...and i'll be up for considering anyone you suggest."
or just say "mein aap ki baat achi tarah se samaj sakti hoon, lekin maine apni puri zindagi jeene hain in ke saath, so i want to be 100% sure." your parents might bug you again saying "marriage is a gamble, arranged or not"...just agree and say that you completely agree with that but you don't want to play this round.
Basically anticipate all their objections, think of what you will say back, and give them the impression that they have you in their control while you try to achieve your own goals :)
Re: I don’t want to marry my cousin
akhir kion? main ney kiya bigara hai tumhara 
mujh main aisy kiya khammy hai, 
Re: I don't want to marry my cousin
dat was just be gross marrying ur cousin
ffs half his blood is already the same as the blood u were made out
Re: I don't want to marry my cousin
Say NO and stand your ground...wavering in your decision shows weakness.
no point of tellin parents they wont listen trust me lolzz
talk to da guy ur cousin n if stil nothing workz RUN AWAY :D
Re: I don't want to marry my cousin
Have you thought about Isthikhara??... I think it is best that you take Allah(swt)'s approval and then decide, i think then your mind will be clear as to what you want to do then....
After that making up your mind and coming to a decision will be a piece of cake as Allah(swt) blessings will be with you:)
Jazak Allah Khair sister
hey btw adeeba how do u do istikhara i h eard lot bou tit never done it ...i mean watz da purpose and how is it done and how do u get da answer to it..
maybe i shud start a new thread for dis but i dont think i have enuf priivilgaes to start one
Re: I don't want to marry my cousin
I know what you mean about having zero feelings for a cousin. I feel like that with mine. I sit there looking at him and I might as well be staring at the wall. It makes me feel absolutely nothing.
My mom doesn't understand the concept of attraction - she doesn't understand what that has to do with anything. But luckily, I am not an obedient daughter - so they can't really force me but one thing I have definitely realised it that trying to tell your parents that you just cannot marry this guy because you have zero attraction to him is like speaking another language to them.
Do whatever but don't marry someone you feel nothing for.
you have forced yourself into luving the guy.... its nothing but a big compromise..u have to live with it.. and so ur defending it.. leave the girl alone please..
Love don't need any compromises at all!
I simple love him. How much?! I dont know
Re: I don't want to marry my cousin
Straight_up, I understand the concept of attraction....believe me........that is related to deception as well......parents kee marzee aur dua shaamil honee chaheye...... beyshak dua mei itnee taqat hai kay khushian saree zindagee keee....... yehi woh rishtay hain jo kaaam atay hain....they are related to you by God. Maybe, being disobedient u get what u want.....maybe as u get older.....ur kids do the same.........Allah keee pakar sey derna chaheyay......All the best!
You're totally right about the importance of parents' consent. I don't plan on marrying without their consent at all. I totally like the idea of arranged marriage, too. The only thing I ask is that whoever my parents pick, I get to see him beforehand. When I see him, he need not be the hottest man on the planet earth, but I have to feel some sort of attraction. Something!
You have full right to reject or accept......it's a matter of maturity and how you view things.....
A human baby is born, he/she cant talk, walk, eat, move.....is dependent on parents for 5-7 years......An animal baby is born, he/she shakes his head few times after birth, stands up and starts walking in a matter of hours..... is independent.....
We are a strange creature....... so immature......even we got teachings of Islam.
Assalamu'alaykum...
The best way to solve this is to do istigharah. :) Always turn to Allah for these matters. Insh'Allah He will guide you to that which is best for you.
And also.. which has been mentioned before.. is that you have the right to say no. Your parents obviously made this choice because they think it's right for you.. Do talk to them about it, and explain. Insh'Allah they will understand.
But it's your life and you're the one who has to spend your life with him, so it's gonna be your decision at the end of the day anyway.
Good luck & may Allah guide you.
Re: I don’t want to marry my cousin
I am against cousin marriage specially First cousins just for the mere fact that i have always seen them as my sisters and the thought of having them as my wife is disgusting. :k: Call me white washed, westernised or anything.
Re: I don't want to marry my cousin
This cousin marriage concept was brought up in my house a few years ago too. I put up such a fight, it never showed up again. I listen to everything they say and always will except that. No way, no how.
Re: I don't want to marry my cousin
Please consult Allah, this is my sincere Advise to you. I'd advise you not to share these stories with strangers as they don't know you and their opinions can lead you into a direction you maybe never wanted.
In the end it is your own decision. The best thing is to talk with your parents. Do Istikhara so Allah may show you if this is the right path. Rely on Allah, Allah is All-Knowing, Allah is great, he will show you the path my dear. Consult him :)
Re: I don't want to marry my cousin
It is certainly true that marriage requires compromise and adapting to one another, and that a husband and wife can change and grow together. It is also true that the greater experience and wisdom of parents should be respected and often obeyed.
However, that does not mean that you should accept ANYONE they or others select for you as a husband.
There is risk in every relationship, arranged or love. In the end, marriage isn't about how you get there, but what happens once you ARE there. You will grow and change during the course of your lifetime together, and so will whoever becomes your husband. In the end, you need to have the maturity, trust, affection, and respect for each other to continue to make a life together, even as you change.
If you are old enough to get married, you are old enough to take responsibility for your decisions and your future. It is not appropriate to practice blind obedience so you never have to make a decision or take responsibility for your actions. If that is your attitude, then you are not ready for marriage. But that doesn't seem to be your attitude. You seem to feel very strongly that your cousin is NOT the right man for you. Think about it very carefully. Pray. If you are certain that this man cannot be a partner for your future, then you have to say so very clearly. No ambiguity, no hesitation. If you are not sure, then you need to talk to your cousin and hear from him as well. In the meantime, you must tell the elders in your family that you are not ready to commit to him yet, as this does not yet feel like a good decision.
Be aware that cousin marriages (even engagements) carry a greater deal of complexity, because problems in the marriage become problems in the extended family. Before there are any announcements made, you need to be certain and very clear.