I don't want to get pregnant

Dubaiwali · January 26, 2010, 6:47am

^ I thought of a Desperate Housewife episode as well when I read this thread… Eidi and Carlos were dating and Carlos really wanted to have a baby. Eidi agreed but secretly kept taking birth control pills. She actually did hide them in her purse. Carlos ended up finding them after some time (accidently) and was obviously extremely furious and felt deceived. He called her out on it and ended the relationship completely.

Even though this is a fake tv show… its not hard to get the concept that lying to your significant other can lead to no good. It is especially not the right way to start off a marriage. I understand completely that 2 people in a couple are not going to agree on every single issue. But I do think it is important that there is a meeting of the minds on the very big issues such as this one.

Try talking it out some more with him and stress the points that some of the ladies here have made. (that having a child right away *will * have an impact on your goals and ambitions, it is healthy for the couple to have some time for themselves so that they can adjust to their new lifestyle, you need to be emotionally ready to become a mother, when you become a mother you want to be the best mother possible and devote yourself completely to that task.. and now is not the time, you want to be more financially stable as a couple, etc.) . Emphasize the fact that you WANT to have kids… just not right away.

Even if he really desires to have kids right away… he should be able to understand your points and be able to sympathize and respect your wishes. Choosing to have a baby has a huge impact on the female partner … beyond the physical aspects of being pregnant and giving birth… its also has a huge impact on lifestyle… and yes - realistically: on career goals as well.

I know that you have told us that he has been very understanding in the past with you… but this is a HUGE issue. Such a huge issue, that it should be able to be talked about easily between the couple and compromises should be reached without too much of an argument. If you guys have a hard time doing this… I would be very very wary in taking the step to get married.

Afterall… you don’t want to be resenting him in the future if you give in and agree to have kids right away and put your own dreams and goals aside. AND you dont want him resenting you in the future when he realizes that you are not getting pregnant right away (the truth will come out when he suggests you guys going to the doctor to make sure everything is alright).

So don’t start things with a lie and try to work this out now if you can.

Yeh exactly that is the exact same episode which came to my mind when I was reading this thread.