stardust,,,,,,all of this has got me thinking, are u SURE you want to marry him? and the excuse that there are ''slim pickings'' where u live is not sufficient enough to marry him. think about it, if you are starting off this relationship with lying/hiding/sneaking behind his back and taking pills on the sly just b/c he wont listen to you...then whats to come in the many many MANY years ahead in your marriage? hon, if he is not decently and maturely sitting down to listen to your issues BEFORE marriage, then u can kiss the hope of him EVER understanding later on good-bye.
since this is obviously a huge issue for you (and i cannot blame u if it is) then have u considered discussing and getting advise on this issue from your parents? or his parents if u are close to them?? how long have u known your fiancee...is this a love marriage or arranged marraige? either way, its obvious that both of you have ALOT of work to do on communicating each others thoughts and concerns to eachother.
moreover, have u openly discussed your desire to pursue your education to him? what was his reaction, was he convinced or did he give you a 50/50 response. it sounds like he may not be too happy with the idea of u pursuing higher education, hence his scheme to have a baby ASAP is the perfect excuse to not let you. i hope that is not the case....but then why the rush to have a baby right away?
best of luck! i really hope u can resolve this issue soon b4 your wedding.
Thanks Anjana. I dont really know what to say. I've known him for nearly three years now but he never used to be like this. It's sad that he's changed so much (or maybe I have). I don't know. Iam so confused right now that I really dont know what to do. I've tried speaking to my mum but she takes his side which really annoyed me.
He has never stopped me from educating myself. He wants me to do a Phd! after I become a barrister yet he doesn't want to give up on the idea of having a perfect family as well. I think he lacks maturity in that respect because he has no idea how difficult it is to raise a child. I know because I see my sis and my bhabi do it and how much of a toll it has taken on them.
I don't think things look so good ahead but pulling out from the rishta purely on this basis is not an option for me. He hasn't mistreated me or been rude and I am sure this is a matter which can be resolved with the assistance of an impartial party. I am yet to find one.