Re: i don’t wanna marry an ugly guy when his face is the only thing that i know about
^ :k:
Re: i don't wanna marry an ugly guy when his face is the only thing that i know about
yanzala don't worry hun most of us are like that. Why feel bad? Obviously when you are shown a picture you look at the way a person looks. Guys do it a lot. If we do that, what's the big deal? Keep on rejecting the rishtay until you find the one. Also it's a big decision so don't rush into it. I dont know whether you trust your parents choice completely but I let my parents choose. If they feel someone hits most of the boxes only then they introduce me to them lol I remember this guy ( a doctor) who my dad though was "smart". Seriously when I saw his picture I was like NO COMMENT. He wasn't ugly but not what I had in mind. Also it's not all about the looks they must have some of the qualities you seek in a person. You just need to find a balance of both.
Re: i don't wanna marry an ugly guy when his face is the only thing that i know about
awww....you guys are life saver.
i do trust my parents but our aesthetic values doesn't exactly match :p who they think is great looking isn't exactly that good looking for me. beside i doubt my parents look at the looks at all. my mom has never told me about a rishta and said that guy is good looking she always tell me about his degree and family but never about looks.
everyone i know says looks aren't a big deal for them. it's the personality, or the character or the "dil" of the girl/guy. but is it really true? don't we all wants to marry a great looking girl/guy...
why is it so hard for people to understand? why am i all of sudden become the materialistic person? maybe if i ever see him or talk to him i can ignore his face but other than that my decision is going to be based on his face too.
I think you meant to say 'shallow'. You'd be "materialistic" if you fell in love with the guy after reviewing his past several tax returns (don't laugh; it could happen).
Its hard to believe that your mom shows you a picture and does not tell ANYTHING else about the guy like family, education, financial situation etc. Your decision should be based on these attributes in addition to "face".
btw, will you say the same if some girl keep on getting rejected on the basis of picture only?
everyone i know says looks aren't a big deal for them. it's the personality, or the character or the "dil" of the girl/guy. but is it really true? don't we all wants to marry a great looking girl/guy.
here is a scenario: you don't know anything about the guy, you have never met him, seen him or anything. on day your mom showed u a picture and said oh here is a guy tell me what do you think............ummmm.................if i am only being shown a picture then my decision is going to be based on a picture too.
why is it so hard for people to understand? why am i all of sudden become the materialistic person? maybe if i ever see him or talk to him i can ignore his face but other than that my decision is going to be based on his face too.
urgh...i just need to vent out my anger.
Its hard to believe that your mom shows you a picture and does not tell ANYTHING else about the guy like family, education, financial situation etc. Your decision should be based on these attributes in addition to "face".
btw, will you say the same if some girl keep on getting rejected on the basis of picture only?
been there :D
Re: i don’t wanna marry an ugly guy when his face is the only thing that i know about
^ its awful for girls..they usually are rejected based on some physical feature… lets be real … wanting a “pretty” girl is high up on the list of priorities for guys… whatever their definition of “pretty” is… and dont even get me started on the pickiness of their mothers 
So if a guy and/or their families can be so picky about a girls appearance… why can’t girls? And girls usually are not even AS picky about that issue… they cant even afford to be that picky about it b/c they are so many other important issues to consider (i.e such as job and background).
^ its awful for girls..they usually are rejected based on some physical feature… lets be real … wanting a “pretty” girl is high up on the list of priorities for guys… whatever their definition of “pretty” is… and dont even get me started on the pickiness of their mothers
So if a guy and/or their families can be so picky about a girls appearance… why can’t girls? And girls usually are not even AS picky about that issue… they cant even afford to be that picky about it b/c they are so many other important issues to consider (i.e such as job and background).
only ugly people say looks don't matter
good looks don't last forever, but bad looks sure as hell do ...
says you? Hhhhhmmmm well i can only pray to Allah for you then
Re: i don't wanna marry an ugly guy when his face is the only thing that i know about
No.
That is so true, its bad enough the guys are picky (probably because they do not have a mirror in their house to see themselves) that their dear mothers have a never ending list of requirments.
Why is that in every situation, the girl is worser off then the guy? the guy gets a pretty reasonable girl and the girl feels sick everytime she looks at him?
Re: i don't wanna marry an ugly guy when his face is the only thing that i know about
yanzala....girl- i totally know how you feel!
i'm also from the US and went through the EXACT same thing! My mom would show me pictures of guys along with whatever info she had and ask me for my input. If i said no (based on looks)- she would go off on how I'm materialistic and I'm no Aishwariya Rai and I'm getting older...so I should give the guy a chance...and pictures don't always do justice, etc, etc.
I was able to get away with it for a while and did "reject" some guys solely based on their pictures. Eventually my parents thought I was being too picky and was getting "old" (mid to late twenties) so I started agreeing to meet/talk to some of these dudes. None of them worked out for one reason or another (thankfully :)). And...most of them did look like their pictures. Funny thing is- the ones I thought were very attractive in pictures had the worst personalities! The FOB/uncle-type/baldies (NO OFFENSE TO ANYONE) were nice, but not what I was looking for (in terms of education, job standard, outlook on life, religion, family values and ethics).
I went through this "rishta process" for probably 4-5 years- beginning after I graduated from university before I met the one :). No, it wasn't love at first site. I initially thought he was OK looking from his pictures. We started talking, met in person and found out we had so much in common and TOTALLY clicked. I didn't get butterflies or anything looking at him, but the fact that we got along so well made him so much more attractive to me. My parents were happy that he was educated, religious, from a great family and just very loving and caring and most of all loved me so much. Eventually, we got married :). Alh, we've been married for over a year now!
sooo...my advice to you- if you find the guy completely hideous looking, then its your call if you want to meet/get to know him or not. Is it something you think his personality/ views/ outlook/ etc will make up for? if you think he is even OK looking, I suggest you do talk to him and then make your call. I know its really hard to find decent guys in the US and this whole process is such a whirlwind and sucky process!
May whatever is in your naseeb be best for you and may you find your match soon, inshallah :). just don't give up!
Re: i don't wanna marry an ugly guy when his face is the only thing that i know about
nabz: thanks for the great advices girl. i really appreciate it.
i was 18 when i got my first rishta and the guy was doing engineering at that time here. even though he was in usa his immigration was giving him a problems and he needed to get married instantly. my parents were really happy about it, they thought he was perfect and all that. even though they would have never gotten me married to him at that age but nikkah or something like that could have been done. but i was instantly unhappy about it for few reasons first that he was living with his aunt, and even thought he was in america for couple of years or longer he didn't have his own place, his own car or anything, he was very depending on his aunt's family. and my idea of a perfect husband was someone i can rely on, someone strong and reliable. i still did istakhara and got a negative response so i said no. my parents did istakhara and they got a yes, so we were confused but we still told them that we are not interested. it has been 6 years since and after that rishta i find out from many girls here that they pretty much asked all the girls around here for his rishta and all of them said no for different reasons. also his living conditions are still the same after all those year he still lives with his aunt and i dont' think he has his own car, and he never got done with engineering either. he changed many major which delayed his gradation a lot and i don't even know what degree he has now.
so at that time when i was saying no to his proposal i was very confused about what if i am making a wrong decision, what if i regret it later but ALHAMDULILAH when ever i look back at that first rishta i thank god that he helped me made a right decision.
i do have trust in ALLAHTALA, and i believe that when ever the time will come i will get married and everything will be alright. but i am getting old now and all my friends are either married or getting married within few months. i have started to get lonely and i feel behind in life :(