Re: i don't wanna marry an ugly guy when his face is the only thing that i know about
Picture isnt enough, you are not materialistic.
Do not marry anyone you havent had a chance to know a little bit first.
lol don't be sorry i was just being a drama queen
lol....
I pretended to be the good, humble king! So we are even then. :-)
Dimes are less valuable than quarters!
Re: i don't wanna marry an ugly guy when his face is the only thing that i know about
ajj kal after pics u r suppose to add each other on facebook....check him out on fb and get to know him better!
Re: i don't wanna marry an ugly guy when his face is the only thing that i know about
It doesn't matter if u r joota-fied, stick up for yourself, try to meet him first then decide. If u don't like him in real life, then stay away from the marriage.
everyone i know says looks aren't a big deal for them. it's the personality, or the character or the "dil" of the girl/guy. but is it really true? don't we all wants to marry a great looking girl/guy.
here is a scenario: you don't know anything about the guy, you have never met him, seen him or anything. on day your mom showed u a picture and said oh here is a guy tell me what do you think............ummmm.................if i am only being shown a picture then my decision is going to be based on a picture too.
why is it so hard for people to understand? why am i all of sudden become the materialistic person? maybe if i ever see him or talk to him i can ignore his face but other than that my decision is going to be based on his face too.
urgh...i just need to vent out my anger.
You are rite! I would advice you to by all means select someone you find attractive but at the same time you should get to talk to them too before you say yes. Only a good face is not gonna make the relationship work. And there is nothing Islamically wrong in this either if u two get to talk in presence of your guardians.
Re: i don't wanna marry an ugly guy when his face is the only thing that i know about
I wud neva eva even think about marrying someone from a picture. I didnt even know people still do that these days?.......... I wudnt even take any notice until i get to meet the guy and get to know him first. Its a bad move marrying someone by just a picture. Might not even be him. Never know.
everyone i know says .....
1st of all parents apni ulaad ke dushman to nahi ho saktain hena. Agar photo dekhai hay to is mein koi haraj nahi. Mom n Dad ne jo bhi decide kiya hoga buhat soch samajh kr hi decide kiya hoga warna unhain konsi majboori hay k kisi airay ghairay se shaadi kardain apne bachoon ki.
2ndly Rahi baat shaadi ki. Nikha kartay waqat larki ko pura ikhtiar hay ko woh 'Haan' karay ya 'Naah'.
and last. A person should s'up 2 their parents when he/she c photo of his/her future husband/wife, b'coz mom dad ne apni zindagi guzar li ab app ne guzarni hay.
I wudnt even take any notice until i get to meet the guy and get to know him first. Its a bad move marrying someone by just a picture. Might not even be him. Never know.
Usually in normal life..."Koyla" doesnt happen :P LOL! BUt i know what you mean.
Re: i don't wanna marry an ugly guy when his face is the only thing that i know about
^ LOL thats exactly what i was thinking you now! wow u mind reader!!!!
It cud happen!!!!!!!!!
dude i am not getting married to a picture guys. picture is just an initial thing. they were asking me if he looks alright so they can process like talking to hsi parents inviting them over etc.
i am sure i will eventually get to see him someday but i am scared that by that time i will get to see him the rishta deal with be a bit too far ahead that saying no at that time would be really rude.
i don't find him attractive at all, and he is sorta ganja too :( now i am sure (hypothetically speaking because that's all what you guys are gonna say) he must be a very nice guy at heart blah blah blah blah blah, but guess what i don't know that yet, all i know about him is that he is quite dark and he doesn't have much hair and he seems tall enough for me. so what should i do??
Re: i don't wanna marry an ugly guy when his face is the only thing that i know about
Your concerns are very legit Yanzala and do not for one minute think that you are being too picky or selfish.
If I were you, I would be honest to my parents about it. Tell them that you are not won over by the picture. Tell them you do not want a super-model or anything but that it is important that the person you end up spending the rest of your life is someone you atleast find pleasing to look at. Perhaps you can talk to your mom about this if you are not comfortable speaking to both of your parents. Emphasize your point and concerns (the ones brought up on this thread) to her... that you are doing the right thing by not going behind their backs and getting to know some random guy on your own. But that you are handling this big thing in your life - their way. And the whole rishta process is initiated by a picture and if you are not interested in a picture... then it sets a negative connotation from the get go and that any further steps in pursuing the rishta should be taken very carefully and not be taken too far without consulting your opinion about him again (hopefully by then you had gotten to know him a bit better).
First impression sets a tone for many people.
I know it is hard for girls like us living in the U.S..... options seem so limited. But that should NEVER mean that we should settle. Even if a few years go by. I am almost 26 and just got engaged. It would have been easy for me to just settle and say that I was not going to ever find someone meri passand ka in every way. But I waited and it all paid off. Everyone is different ofcourse ... but i do think that you should follow your heart and never settle on anything. Because at the end of the day --> it's YOUR life. And this is the person that you are supposed to spend the rest of YOUR life with. This person should meet/be upto all of your standards.
and inshAllah- you will find this guy :D
Your concerns are very legit Yanzala and do not for one minute think that you are being too picky or selfish.
If I were you, I would be honest to my parents about it. Tell them that you are not won over by the picture. Tell them you do not want a super-model or anything but that it is important that the person you end up spending the rest of your life is someone you atleast find pleasing to look at. Perhaps you can talk to your mom about this if you are not comfortable speaking to both of your parents. Emphasize your point and concerns (the ones brought up on this thread) to her... that you are doing the right thing by not going behind their backs and getting to know some random guy on your own. But that you are handling this big thing in your life - their way. And the whole rishta process is initiated by a picture and if you are not interested in a picture... then it sets a negative connotation from the get go and that any further steps in pursuing the rishta should be taken very carefully and not be taken too far without consulting your opinion about him again (hopefully by then you had gotten to know him a bit better).
First impression sets a tone for many people.
I know it is hard for girls like us living in the U.S..... options seem so limited. But that should NEVER mean that we should settle. Even if a few years go by. I am almost 26 and just got engaged. It would have been easy for me to just settle and say that I was not going to ever find someone meri passand ka in every way. But I waited and it all paid off. Everyone is different ofcourse ... but i do think that you should follow your heart and never settle on anything. Because at the end of the day --> it's YOUR life. And this is the person that you are supposed to spend the rest of YOUR life with. This person should meet/be upto all of your standards.
and inshAllah- you will find this guy :D
thank you punjabi rose. i am just scared, i am scared of ALLAHTALA, my parents and my future. i don't want to be to picky and then in the end left with no one :(
but your response has made me feel really good. i trust ALLAHTALA and i always pray that who ever ALLATHALA has written in my fate i want my heart to accept him regardless of his looks and status.
Re: i don't wanna marry an ugly guy when his face is the only thing that i know about
what sort of a guy do you want, yanzala? tell your mom or whoever is finding you guys about this. also, are you a hottie?
not what this quite desperate sounding desi chick bemoans often.
only ugly people say looks don't matter
good looks don't last forever, but bad looks sure as hell do ...
Re: i don't wanna marry an ugly guy when his face is the only thing that i know about
@daenigma: A real nasty thing to say. And please don't get started on me, alhamdullillah
I am pretty fine looking.
Now coming to the discussion at hand. As per judge judy: Beauty fades, dumb is forever.
Personally I think that every girl has the right to select/reject any rishta if she feels she is not attracted to the guy. Islam gives this right to the girls as well as guys. Obviously, this right should be exercised in a decent manner. Seriously, one SHOULD have atelast *some *attraction to the person that they are going to spend the rest for their life with. Obviously now this definition of attraction varies from person to person.
Best of luck !!
what sort of a guy do you want, yanzala? tell your mom or whoever is finding you guys about this. also, are you a hottie?
oh god, i was thinking why hasn't anyone asked me that :D
well here in America all the Americans, and arabs thinks i am gorgeous. like literally it surprise because i never though of my self as beautiful or gorgeous but people here thinks so. so i don't know.
but my family in pakistan doesn't agree to them at all. :( mainly because i am not fair. i am dark :( other than that i think i am fine looking.
i haven't really met anyone in pakistan or america who has died of disgust at the sight of me. so i am pretty confident that i am not that ugly.
my nose is not mooti, my eyes are ok size, i have high cheekbones :D i don't know...........what is that which exactly make person beautiful but i am alright ALHAMDULILAH.
Re: i don't wanna marry an ugly guy when his face is the only thing that i know about
^ Beauty is in the eye of beholder, I am sure you heard this.
What may be considered beauty in 'west' may not be considered same in 'east' and vice versa.
In general darker tone is preferred in 'west' and lighter skin in 'east'.
I know women who are blond very fair colored, prefer men with darker skin as opposed to blond very fair men, to have children with medium colored skin or hair.
It all depends what is common and uncommon at any place.
Re: i don't wanna marry an ugly guy when his face is the only thing that i know about
if u dont know him and r not attracted to him DO NOT MARRY HIM!