I met my bf in Uni - I was in 3rd year he was in 4th… When we started dating everyone knew including his friends and he never hid it for any reason. Even me being Paki and him being Bengali defied his parents from the very start and now they’ve grown to like me. These are the guys you want - the men that will go the distance and show you that you’re the centre of their world.
I’ve always said, if you need to question a person’s motives from the beginning or are weary of their actions, squash it. That’s not how you want your relationship to start off as because more often than not it doesn’t work out.
I know you all care oh so much about the updates. I ended up talking to his posse yesterday after class and he was there and was...normal. Then I see him today with my group of friends and we totally make eye contact and he...ignores me.
^ You need to not make a special effort for him. Treat him like a casual acquaitance as opposed to a potential anything. The more you try to figure out the unfigureoutable, the more you will confuse yourself.
And biggest thing - don't get caught up in playing the flirt and ignore game. Be yourself and respond to him as you would to someone you weren't crushing on who treated you the same way - if he's been rude and isn't friend material, then drop him as a friend as well.
ok wait....how absurd are some of the advises being given here.
the dude has made alot of effort to initiate contact. you havn't. ignoring him right now will definitely show him that you're not interested at all. At the party he was probably also waiting for you to initiate, but you didn't. things might have looked even worse to him if he saw you just talkg to other guys and ignoring him completely.
dont jump to any conclusion that he's looking for whats out there and whats not, and that he's messaging other girls aswell. im not saying there arent guys (or girls) like that, but if you always jump to this conclusion you will never be able to trust anyone.
I'd say you've definitely shown him you're not interested in talking to him. Dont ignore him. initiate the contact once and see his response. as for acknowledging you in public, maybe he's just not that 'confident'. Then again, have you acknowledged him at any of these get-togethers?
I think she just needs to focus on her first year of uni and thats quite about it. If something is so calculated and planned early on in order for two people just to become friends... ca mon, how far can that go.
I would highly suggest that you just concentrate on your education since i'm sure you've worked really hard to get to where you are and some guy who is causing you this much confusion is not worth your time. You could be using the little time off that you have to relax and have fun and definitely don't deserve to have your thoughts tied up in this manner for someone who is (what seems to be the case) playing mind games.
Just do whatever you have been doing...if hes worth it and he likes you genuinely he will make the effort...otherwise totally not worth your time so focus on what you are there for which is your education and just have fun on your time off with your friends.
ok wait....how absurd are some of the advises being given here.
the dude has made alot of effort to initiate contact. you havn't. ignoring him right now will definitely show him that you're not interested at all. At the party he was probably also waiting for you to initiate, but you didn't. things might have looked even worse to him if he saw you just talkg to other guys and ignoring him completely.
dont jump to any conclusion that he's looking for whats out there and whats not, and that he's messaging other girls aswell. im not saying there arent guys (or girls) like that, but if you always jump to this conclusion you will never be able to trust anyone.
I'd say you've definitely shown him you're not interested in talking to him. Dont ignore him. initiate the contact once and see his response. as for acknowledging you in public, maybe he's just not that 'confident'. Then again, have you acknowledged him at any of these get-togethers?
This is what I was initially thinking. I have been known to come across as intimidating and cold to most people in general and I tend to act more so when I'm interested in a guy. But I'm not so sure that I'm the problem anymore.
I think she just needs to focus on her first year of uni and thats quite about it. If something is so calculated and planned early on in order for two people just to become friends... ca mon, how far can that go.
I would highly suggest that you just concentrate on your education since i'm sure you've worked really hard to get to where you are and some guy who is causing you this much confusion is not worth your time. You could be using the little time off that you have to relax and have fun and definitely don't deserve to have your thoughts tied up in this manner for someone who is (what seems to be the case) playing mind games.
Just do whatever you have been doing...if hes worth it and he likes you genuinely he will make the effort...otherwise totally not worth your time so focus on what you are there for which is your education and just have fun on your time off with your friends.
You guys are right. I know I thought he was cute and was interested in him but more than that, I was just trying to find muslim/desi company because there are very few desis here in grad school I'm at. A group of us went out for dessert the other night and he seemed normal there but he was extremely short and, frankly, kind of rude with me when I tried talking to him (like I would with any other classmate I saw). His friends seem to be super sweet and nice so I think he's just a d-bag (my friends concur with this observation). He's not worth it.