I hate writing about stuff like this and asking for advice like a little girl but I’m really confused as to what’s going on.
A few weeks ago, I started at a new uni. I was talking to my group of friends and a desi guy randomly came up to me and started asking if we were in the same program (we are) and we made small talk about where we’re from and all that. We parted ways and, though I was intrigued because he was really cute, I didn’t give it a second thought because I figured we’d never really see each other (our class is pretty big). The next night, he added me on FB. Apparently it was his bday so I said happy bday to him on there (we don’t see each other in class most of the time) and he immediately messaged me asking me what’s up. Again…small talk for a while. A few days later, I emailed him and his friends something for class and he emailed back; this started an exchange about plans for the weekend and we ended up exchanging number (he gave me his first). 5 mins later, I check my phone and I have a missed call from him. I called back thinking he wanted help with school but he ended up making small talk for a while. So…random. After that, he would text me everyday asking me random questions (the next night he asked me “what kind of a desi” I was), stuff like that. Joking about how i never invite him to study with me, etc.
what’s so weird is that when I see him in person in a big group, he acts like he barely knows me; he never addresses me. It’s SO random…and rude. We went out for dinner in a huge group yesterday (I had invited him hoping that we’d have a chance to talk, but someone decided to invite 2873892 other people so that ruined it) and he sat all the way in the corner and never even acknowledged my existence (I was sitting next to some of his other friends on the opposite side). And no texts or anything today.
I am legitimately confused. He’s fairly good looking and I AM attracted to him (he’s a nice guy for the most part, also) and I really did think he was interested. I’m not the type of girl that tends to think that guys like her usually so I figured he was being fairly obvious for me to pick up on it. I’ve caught him hovering and waiting for me by the stairs outside class a few times and all that but I don’t know…I’d really like to get to know him more, but I wonder if I’m coming on too strong by texting him? Or (I have a habit of doing this), in my attempt to look not desperate, I’m overcompensating by just ignoring him and it seem as if I’m completely not interested.
Second, you made a major mistake and that was, showing your interest!
He was interested in you initially and HE was attracted by you, too.. and then you over-showed your interest and appeared as ‘available’ sort of girl and that what made him ignore you!!
See that’s what I was thinking but we’ve also been around just 3 of his guy friends and he treats me the same way. Doesn’t act like I’m there. It’s like he only wants to talk through text…or did. Because even that’s stopped now.
sorry! the number thing was just an exaggeration. I meant to invite just 5 ppl (inc him) to the dinner and some invited guest decided to go ahead and tell all of his friends so there were 20-30 ppl . I was pissed off about that.
Hmm…I don’t know how I’m making it seem as if I’m available. I was worried about that initially but now I’m wondering if I’m making it seem like I’m not interested at all.
So you think he was interested for sure?
I haven’t talked to him at all the past 2 days…so I’m waiting for him to initiate.
What is the reason of this whole friendship thing? Are you in freshman year of university?
I just started professional school. I'm in a city on the other side of the country that has no desis/muslims. I honestly just wanted to get to know anyone "normal" desi here because most of the girls/guys here drink a lot and I...don't. I wasn't even suspecting that he was interested until he called me. I legitimately thought he just wanted to be my friend because he's fairly moderate too, which is hard to come by around here.
You started a new uni and your already taking advantage of this azaadi?
I'm not doing anything to compromise my morals...?
I think he is doing same with other girls too.and all other girls were there that's why he was acting like this.
He's pretty good looking so I took him to be a player but from what I understand/observe, he doesn't talk to other girls at all. Even at the party, he was talking to his one close guy friend and that's it.
He's pretty good looking so I took him to be a player but from what I understand/observe, he doesn't talk to other girls at all. Even at the party, he was talking to his one close guy friend and that's it.
he doesn't talk to you front of other girls either ..I was saying may be he is messaging/txting/calling other girls too and all the girls he msg/txt/call were there that's why he was not paying attention to anyone.
Like u said he was acting like he barely knows u or them !
he doesn't talk to you front of other girls either ..I was saying may be he is messaging/txting/calling other girls too and all the girls he msg/txt/call were there that's why he was not paying attention to anyone.
Like u said he was acting like he barely knows u or them !
I made this exact same mistake years ago. Met a desi Muslim guy who would call/text me. We actually dated for a few months. When it was just the two of us…he made me believe that I was “the one”. Yet in front of his friends or any other person…he acted totally different. When I would ask him about it…he would tell me that he didn’t want poeple talk sh*t about us b/c “you know how desis talk”. He said he was doing it mainly to protect my reputation. And like a total idiot…I believed him. :hinna: And no, I never saw or even heard about him dating/flirting with other girls. I even met his older sister once.
After 5 months of this…he went to Pakistan for what I was told was a family vacation. After the vacation, he totally started ignoring me (didn’t return my calls, texts etc.). I randomly bumped into one of his friends at the mall a few weeks later, and we ended up having lunch at the food court. And through this friend…I found out that the guy I thought was my BF…went to Pakistan and got married. In fact…2 years prior (which means that entire 5 months we were dating)…he was engaged to his cousin in Pakistan.
So yea…lesson learned. If a guy acts different with you in front of his closest friends…red flags should go up immediately.
And like a total idiot…I believed him. :hinna: And no, I never saw or even heard about him dating/flirting with other girls. I even met his older sister once.
