I don't understand men....

[Haaniya786]

Re: I don’t understand men…

@GoriLady

Agreed (with everyone excepty CM). It is going to be really sad and hard but you need to cut him off, cold turkey. No phone calls, no texts, no emails and especially no FB. You’ve got to take each other off your friends list. If you don’t, you might end up a lunatic, frantically checking to see if he has updated his status. You’ll be constantly wondering where he is and what he is doing. When other girls write on his wall, you’ll get SO jealous even if you’d never felt jealous before. You might even feel betrayed when he is out having fun.
For my last breakup, the only way that made it any better was by us promising each other that in case of emergency, we’d still be there for each other. It is much easier to swallow than erasing him from your life completely. It is still going to be brutally tough. I can feel your pain I was in am almost identical situation. My bf gave in to his parents and said he’d follow their plans, yet he I loved him to death and he loved me to death so it was horrific.

If you continue like this, he may even continue to talk to you, even after he is married (exact same situation happened to a Pakistani guy friend of mine). You’re going to feel worse and worse; morally you’ll be behaving terribly (interfering in a marriage) and it will be a disaster.

Honestly, if he doesn’t want to marry that girl cousin of his, he doesn’t HAVE to. He is letting it happen for whatever reason (I know parents can be crazy manipulative and mean) but still, keep in mind, this is also his choice. He’s choosing to keep his parents happy over you. He had to choose to either loose his parents/family or you, and he choose them, so if it helps, remind yourself of that and let yourself feel angry at him. Anger will help you get over him faster. If you continue to love him, and glaze over his flaws, you may continue to harbor feelings for him for years.

All of this advice comes from experience… hard earned experience. I wish you all the best.

Oh and my last consolation, when I’m feeling really sad about losing someone. I remind myself that I’ll see them in heaven and since relationships are different there (ie not marriage), it wouldn’t be haram. I know it sounds corny but it helps a bit without giving false hope for a reunion on earth.

His fb doesn’t have any girls writing all over it, or any flirtatious comments, he’s a good guy. So his fb doesn’t hurt me, as far as the other girl is concerned, well his mom suggested this girl, but there is no serious talk about anything happening for another 4-5 years. Also I tried hating him or thinking about his flaws, truth is, he has soooooo many good qualities that they mask his bad ones, so I can’t even be angry at him. And I don’t blame him for giving into his parents, I know how moms can be too, and if I had a son, I’d want him to pick family over “some girl” too.

Why can’t we end up with the person we want? Why do parents have to be so difficult and make everything complicated? Truth is, he has all the qualities I want in a guy

Where do you find the himmat to “cold turkey” it? I find it so hard to delete his pics, mssgs, or to even remove him from fb, etc

btw your jannat idea doesn’t sound corny, I think the same.