Ok so remem the guy who cried infront of me on webcam…well we ended our relationship because he told his mom about me, and his mom said no because I live far, and a lot of other stuff (he didn’t quite give me details). But mainly the guy couldn’t take a stand, and he gave in to his mom. So his mom, seeing how sad he was, suggests to him another girl who he has known since he was a little kid, and that girl likes him too, however he never thought of her like that, but now because his mom is praising her so much, he is considering her but he says he has no feelings for her and they’ve always talked as friends and nothing more.
So whatever, it was hard, but I accepted this fact and decided to move on. The thing is, he’s still on my facebook, chat clients etc because we said we’ll remain friends. However, we did agree to stop all phone contact and even when we’re online we hardly talk, it’ll be a simple how are you, whats happening etc…and then nothing more. But then randomly one night he texts me and says “I will always have feelings for you, You are amazing. Please forgive me.” And since then, the past 4 nights he’s been texting me before going to sleep, and he’ll ask if I’m sleeping or what I’m doing. So I decided to not go online for 2 days, and I ignored his texts past 2 nights, so now he started texting me in the morning asking how I am and what I’m doing….but I don’t understand why he’s doing that because we agreed we’d stop phone contact once we ended our relationship.
Why does he even care now?
Shouldn’t he be focusing on that other girl?
Why is he spending extra money on sending texts to a girl in another country when he could simply be texting the girl in his own country?
Isn’t it easier for guys to move on, especially when they’re talking to another girl already. I’m thinking maybe it’s because he still cares???
He hasn’t asked me why I didn’t respond to his text, so I don’t wanna discuss this topic with him, so should I just continue ignoring and let him stop on his own?
Re: I don’t understand men…
Who said its easier for guys to move on? :no:
If you consider it an end, the delete him off facebook as you can’t really be ‘friends’ anymore.
Re: I don’t understand men…
I only consider it an end because he gave in to his mom, otherwise I wouldn’t have wanted it to end. We’re “friends” only because he’s too great of a guy to have him out of my life. I don’t want us to simply end all ties because the relationship we were aiming for didn’t work out. What I don’t understand is why would he start texting randomly when it was his idea to put a stop to it in the first place. I mean he won’t chat with me online, but then the moment i’m not online or I don’t IM him, he decides to text me to ask if I’m sleeping or what I’m doing. Why can’t he just simply be normal and talk to me online then?
Re: I don't understand men....
Life is way too complicated. You can't justify him with what problems he must have had to make such tiring decision. If you both truly loved each other, it must be hard for him to move on as much as it is for you. Let me tell you a universal truth, everyone in world hurts you, you just need to find the right ones worth suffering for.
Re: I don't understand men....
I only consider it an end because he gave in to his mom, otherwise I wouldn't have wanted it to end. We're "friends" only because he's too great of a guy to have him out of my life. I don't want us to simply end all ties because the relationship we were aiming for didn't work out. What I don't understand is why would he start texting randomly when it was his idea to put a stop to it in the first place. I mean he won't chat with me online, but then the moment i'm not online or I don't IM him, he decides to text me to ask if I'm sleeping or what I'm doing. Why can't he just simply be normal and talk to me online then?
I'm afraid it doesn't work like that Haaniya. Once you break up, hanging onto each other as friends or whatever you want to call it does not help and it isn't healthy. I think you're going to need to take a stand and cold-turkey it. If you don't you're giving him hope by being in touch. Yeah, you're going to say you aren't and you never said anything like it but he's not going to think that. The easiest solution to this situation is to let go of him and let him be. Yeah he gave in to his mum, yeah you guys ended it but you ended it mutually (We decided to remain friends). So just be kind to the him and yourself by cutting off all contact.
Re: I don't understand men....
I could be wrong but I think that if he's so easily open to considering another girl.....then maybe his interest in you wasn't overly strong. Or perhaps that's his way of moving on from you.....which would make the other girl a rebound....and that's not fair to her.
As to why he contacts you after you decided to move on with your life ...I think.....it's because of the tendency to appreciate or miss something more when it's gone/absent from your life. I think that maintaining ties can make the process of moving on tougher for some people....it can delay it.....and if that's going to be the case with you (and if you've firmly decided to move on) then I don't think keeping in touch would be conducive. And I say this because most people don't emotionally detach themselves from another person so quickly. You both are not on the same page......he's already indicated that having a relationship with you can't have any real direction. So when you know this, why set yourself up for more heartache right? It's also not fair to the other girl (that his mom has suggested).....if he's displaying an interest in her.......while also so actively keeping in touch with you.
Re: I don't understand men....
I only consider it an end because he gave in to his mom, otherwise I wouldn't have wanted it to end. **We're "friends" only because he's too great of a guy to have him out of my life. I don't want us to simply end all ties because the relationship we were aiming for didn't work out. **What I don't understand is why would he start texting randomly when it was his idea to put a stop to it in the first place. I mean he won't chat with me online, but then the moment i'm not online or I don't IM him, he decides to text me to ask if I'm sleeping or what I'm doing. Why can't he just simply be normal and talk to me online then?
You can't have everything. When you have 100% of someone, its impossible and very painful to go back to being just 1%. At least not so soon.
Re: I don't understand men....
Essentially you are the guy over. Well done. Once you break up you do not remain friends.
Re: I don't understand men....
I still think wo khushe kay aansu thay !!!!
Re: I don’t understand men…
i always thought there were no mixed signals with men, but i always get proved wrong. so many men that emotionally torture or play games just to mess with a girl, i think i’ve only come across that kind of man…
Re: I don't understand men....
none of you is getting a closure by being friends....
for peace of mind....let go of each other completely
Re: I don't understand men....
none of you is getting a closure by being friends....
for peace of mind....let go of each other completely
how do you let go of someone you don't wanna let go of :(
Re: I don't understand men....
how do you let go of someone you don't wanna let go of :(
And people wonder why women are attention whores. I am sorry but this is pathetic on your part. You have a guy who likes you, you tell him no. They you keep him around like a love sick puppy. Any decent girl would have broken off all ties when she learned his parents were thinking of this other girl.
Re: I don't understand men....
Haaniya, I would encourage you to let go of him, don't speak to him, just do the normal thing; stalk him secretly.
Seriously though, this:
how do you let go of someone you don't wanna let go of :(
It doesn't matter if you don't want to. Make yourself understand that wants are tricky things, not to be trusted. I have observed that more often than not romantic entanglements make people so very selfish. This makes me wonder whether it is indeed romance they have or whether they are simply just accustomed to the attention they provide each other; habits are hard to break. His behaviour, and how many times he messages you is of no consequence, he is no doubt having a difficult time letting go himself, but that is not your concern; you need to focus on your own actions. Best of luck with it.
Re: I don't understand men....
well i think, he doesnt want to commit and give you false hope, but he does want to be in contact with you as it is. thats the signal I am getting from all this. and I am sure, he only brought the mom in just to put blame on her to avoid any blame. I dont think he has mentioned anything about you to his mom. but I could be so wrong without knowing the person.
Re: I don't understand men....
Haaniya786
will you be ok seeing him with another woman, showing off his engagement photos all happy and in love to all in his friendlist including you
i'm sure you're very charming, beautiful and smart, you'll get the right guy, just don't force situations like this that will never end up the way you want. have faith in Allah that the right guy for you will come soon
if he really liked you he would've told you straight and definitely told his parents not to look for another girl...atleast I think he would've.
Re: I don't understand men....
plus this guy seems like a flirt or just enjoying the company of two women being into him........these kinds of guys just give the good men(where ever they are in fantasyland) a bad name.
Re: I don't understand men....
how do you let go of someone you don't wanna let go of :(
you cant marry him coz his mum said no.....
you cant stay just friends coz you keep thinking about marriage/what ifs.....you are neither here, nor there
so for your own sake, you gotta let go
if you stick to him even as a friend, you'll not move on emotionally(as you said you dont want to)...............why do you want to let this situation hurt you??
Re: I don't understand men....
lol. dramay....some people just want to act all their life. dont worry, if your not part of his life he wont gonna commit suicide and if he did then it will be obvious that you never deserved such a weak minded person.
Ignore him and switch off your cell at night. and delete from facebook. no need to have a "so-called friend" who you cant even call when you are in need. besides it was his suggestions of being friends with him, which you don't necessarily need to OBEY. and tell him straight-away "DONT BOTHER TO SEND ME TEXT MESSAGES. I AIN'T FARIG AS MUCH AS YOUR ARE."
what he actually want from your is you be his friend but dont get serious and all. but he want to act like as if he owns you and remains an integral part of your life.
ps. please girls learn to ignore who dont deserve your sleepless nights, tears and 24-7 engrossing mind of someone. think about your parents and the other important people. and imagine what would they think when they find out that their princess ruined herself behind such an ********.
Re: I don't understand men....
lol. dramay....some people just want to act all their life. dont worry, if your not part of his life he wont gonna commit suicide and if he did then it will be obvious that you never deserved such a weak minded person.
Ignore him and switch off your cell at night. and delete from facebook. no need to have a "so-called friend" who you cant even call when you are in need. besides it was his suggestions of being friends with him, which you don't necessarily need to OBEY. and tell him straight-away "DONT BOTHER TO SEND ME TEXT MESSAGES. I AIN'T FARIG AS MUCH AS YOUR ARE."
what he actually want from your is you be his friend but dont get serious and all. but he want to act like as if he owns you and remains an integral part of your life.
ps. please girls learn to ignore who dont deserve your sleepless nights, tears and 24-7 engrossing mind of someone. think about your parents and the other important people. and imagine what would they think when they find out that their princess ruined herself behind such an ********.
lol did you go to the beach today?
Seriously though, she's as guilty of whats going on as the dude. She said they parted ways 'as friends' so she's the one who's still in his life even though he's chosen his parents over her. So she just needs to quit the contact since he obviously seems to be hung on her still. Yeah, not ideal but what are you gonna do 'eh...