I dont see a ring...

[libranrulz]

@diwana

I see where you are coming from but you may have misconception that I am speaking based on religion here.

All I have said is that there is no such thing as ‘commitment’ even in bf/gf relation for those who are in this relation.

Commitment is in marriage.

Fishing and trying before buying is bf/gf. bf/gf know other person could leave anytime without even needing an explanation.

“We can’t be together forever, I am sorry”

“We need to talk”

Or even stop calling! And that’s it.

Both bf/gf are in this relation because they do not want to ‘commit’.

And if they do feel committed or pretend to be committed fine. A third person knows they are not.

The moment one person finds a bettter person to be with. Off this person goes. Happens all the time. No real strings attached. (Unless a child is involved, house is bought together etc. But again, does not mean they are committed for life)

It is perfectly OK for a third person to try to ‘sell’ himself or ‘herself’ to these non-committed people. The emphasis here is on being ‘non-committed’.

After marriage doors to looking and accepting someone’s advances are closed (except when the marriage goes south and things do not work out, divorce is imminent), but not in bf/gf relation.

To get out of marriage, you need certain responsibilities to fulfill. Not always in bf/gf relation.

Why do we try to make bf/gf relation equal as marriage?

Marriage has its own sanctity and level.

Can we not have respect for marriage relationship to keep it separate from other kind of relations? Not necessarily because of religion.

I hope my position is better understood.

I totally and completely disagree iwht you. I think its your misconception that poeple in a relationship are not comitted. Even if I am just friends with anyone I have a certain level of commitment towards them. Whatever arguments you have against relationship, all of em apply to marriage too. People just walk out on their marriages (refer to another inlaw thread in life1). There are a billion examples of everything that you have said against relationships happening in marriages.

Just assuming people in relationships are not comitted is just ignorance tbh. You’re saying that there is a certain type of sanctity in marriage, again thats a part of the culture that we have been brought up in that teaches us that and it is not the same for everyone. I am not in any way saying that bf/gf relationship equates to a marriage couple or some how one is better than the other. My culture and up bringing tells me that marriage is better but that might not hold true for everyone and I don’t want to label anyone anything based on how I have been brought up.

I know people who are not married and have more commitment towards each other than most married people I know. They are not married yet because of external circumstances (financial situation/studies e.t.c.), but that doesn’t mean they are not going to get married or end up being together. What I am trying to say here is do not judge everyone by your own yard stick. Marriage does not equal to commitment and a bf/gf relationship does not equal lack of commitment either. Most of the time bf/gf relationship equates to commitment towards each other. We are not in their shoes, we don’t know their state of mind and what is going through their head and we shouldn’t be judging anyones level of commitment based on the relationship status.