As others have also pointed out…
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You don’t necessarily have to “fight” with your parents if they insult your spouse, CM. But you CAN talk to them in a civil manner and calm them down. Doing absolutely nothing while your spouse is being humiliated can show that you don’t care to acknowledge their feelings. At the very least…one should try to soothe their spouse in the absence of the parents. In her post, the OP, said that she had informed her MIL that she was going out for a walk. So, it wasn’t even that nobody was aware of her whereabouts. The FIL starts yelling at the OP for not being there to greet her husband. If this is the first time this has happened, he could have been more patient. Greeting your spouse at a later time…is not a sin or a crime. *****The FIL then told the OP not to tell her family that he yelled at her…This (to me) shows that the FIL on some level feels guilty about his reaction…and doesn’t want her parents to get upset about it.
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The OP mentioned in her post that she doesn’t have an issue with her husband financially supporting his parents…because she has her own money. The issue here is attitude and treatment.
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The issue here isn’t dependency upon parents…as we all know that family are among the first people that we count on. The issue is over-dependency. For example, she mentioned that her FIL asks when they go to sleep…tells his son when to go home/to bed. Yeah, sure…many parents (no matter how old their children get) will sometimes say “Beta…so jaao…khana time par khaa lo”…but maybe they’re overdoing it with being protective of their son. For example…when the OP wasn’t there to greet her husband…the FIL went off on her and said “I can do anything for my son…etc” How is this point even relevant to the argument (wife not greeting son)? I think the OP feels that if she fails to take care of her husbands exactly the way his parents take care of him (which…a spouse can’t be the same as your parent)…that she’s punished for it.