I dont know what to do :(

[firenze]

with all this crap and other thoughts.. i can imagine.. either husband is going to kill you… or you are gonna leave him?

right?

@redvelvet

“why wouldnt he think marriage isnt a partnership and that the women had to give more??”

^BECAUSE…his parents have spoiled him…have only taught him to think about himself. Who knows? Before he got married, they may even have taught him that you should NEVER see your wife’s parents as your own…and that you shouuld keep your wife in control so that she will always cater to your needs…and that way she’ll never take you away from us…and the family will be kept intact ( no matter how ridiculous the tought).

The older you get, the more fixed in your ways you become. Your father-in-law may not change…your husband is young and could try to improve things…but unfortunately he simply DOES NOT see that there is something wrong with his upbringing. What he seese as “love” is actually (IMO) is a form of control to an extent. He doesn’t realize that his parents over-the-top protection is hurting him in the long run because it’s keeping him DEPENDENT upon them.

What on earth will he do if his parents pass away tomorrow??? Of course if you suggest that to him…he might either scream at you…or tattle to his parents and get them to shout at you for this…while he quietly watches you being insulted.

I think your husband’s biggest problem is that he’s too dependent upon his parents that he can’t think for himself. SO…try this out. When you see your husband taking independent decisions…and thinking for himself…praise/encourage him. That will hopefully give him the confidence to make decisions on his own…and become an independent thinker.

When you see your husband upholding views that are CORRECT but different from his parents…praise him. When you see him doing something right on his own… (defending someone) that his parents are puutting down…praise him. Who knows? Apart from making him stronger…this could help him build more trust in you and strengthen your relationship with him. He is so attached to mom and dad that they are like the only people he trusts…it wouuld be healthy for him to learn to trust himself and others like his wife.