So, my marriage has been arranged with my cousin.It would be purely arranged marriage,arranged by our parents.Initially I wasn’t willing to marry him but now I feel perhaps my age is passing by, so I should marry him only.But I don’t feel any liking towards him,I don’t even feel comfortable around him.Ever since the proposal has been confirmed by our parents,we both haven’t even talked to each other.We both live in different countries.He seems to be happy and all,that’s what i have heard about from my female cousins,but I’m scared.What if this disliking feeling,this discomfort feeling would exist even after i get married to him.Sometimes i feel perhaps I’m just doing a compromise by marrying him.But would it cause issues after i get married to him?Would things be okay after the marriage?
I’m just kind of confused,and don’t know what to do.Keep advise.
Listen you guys have never been close from what I gather and the feeling is probably more so because you had certain expectations that he might try to get to know you better or get close to you after the engagement which he hasn't done so, yet. Maybe he feels the same way maybe he doesn't but you know that he likes you enough that is happy with the engagement. I think before you take any drastic step just talk to him and get to know him a little better. You'll get a much better idea about how you feel about towards him after knowing him a little bit more.
I have a friend who got married to his cousin but never talked to her directly. She didn't feel very comfortable talking to him either. They are now very very happily married and just love each other to death.
I think in every arranged marriage if you don't talk to each other, there will be some kind of distance initially. You develop liking unless of course you just find some traits or physical feature totally unattractive. I don't think that's the case with you. Give it some time. Try to talk to him. Spend some time together. I k now you live in different countries. Maybe you can plan a shopping trip or a mini vacation where he lives and try to hang out with him.
You are just having 2nd thoughts.
Just look at his family + his character. Is he honest, good looking, sincere, good looking, respectful, good looking .... You know the things that matter in the long run. If they are there - go say "I do do" at the wedding.
You don't know him much so yes there will be hesitance ... but if all the ingredients (mentioned above) are there and there is nothing stopping you - you WILL FALL IN LOVE! Guaranteed! or your money back.
I have a friend who got married to his cousin but never talked to her directly. She didn't feel very comfortable talking to him either. They are now very very happily married and just love each other to death.
I think in every arranged marriage if you don't talk to each other, there will be some kind of distance initially. You develop liking unless of course you just find some traits or physical feature totally unattractive. I don't think that's the case with you. Give it some time. Try to talk to him. Spend some time together. I k now you live in different countries. Maybe you can plan a shopping trip or a mini vacation where he lives and try to hang out with him.
i have a friend, who had same feeling for her husband before getting married...before wedding, she had same feeling and now they are very happy..the guy loves her alot and she is very happy with him
why dont you talk to him ...try to find out more about him
If someone makes you uncomfortable, there is a reason behind it,perhaps beyond any rationale. You do not want to spend the rest of your life with that person.
Spiral is correct. Go ahead with this marriage. Remember Allah always......
A word of advice: Once you are married, in case you feel different behavior to/from husband, consult some Molana sahib for dua....say prayers.... just keep quiet.....do not fight.... there is always Satan (third party) who tries best to break husband and wife relation....(Haroot and Maroot followers as mentioned in Quran)....do best to protect yourself from sorcery (witchraft).
Keep a balance with all relations like SIL, MIL, FIL, etc.... this is very important.
Spiral is correct. Go ahead with this marriage. Remember Allah always......
A word of advice: Once you are married, in case you feel different behavior to/from husband, consult some Molana sahib for dua....say prayers.... just keep quiet.....do not fight.... there is always Satan (third party) who tries best to break husband and wife relation....(Haroot and Maroot followers as mentioned in Quran)....do best to protect yourself from sorcery (witchraft).
Keep a balance with all relations like SIL, MIL, FIL, etc.... this is very important.
Get to the know the guy and see how you feel then. Its because you don't know the guy and you don't know what to expect of marriage life is probably the cause of the uncomfortableness!
You're a pawn being manipulated by your parents because they feel a sense of duty to their relatives.
There's not even a whiff of interest from you, you've never met your cousin and they're steaming rolling you into this marriage, for goodness sake.
Redrose you have everything to fight for, don't walk into this trap.
In years to come, when you've been drawn into bitterness and despair and your life has fallen apart, thinking back, you'll bitterly regret not having done anything to prevent this while you still had that one chance.