choti jaan they are being harsh on you, aren’t they? But you know you deserve it, and I must say, that takes a mature individual.
There is a much bigger issue here, isn’t there? You hate conflict, and you hate standing up to people. You don’t like it when people are mad at you, or when people are upset with you. You’re a people pleaser and you’re universally adored, at least, you like to think so. (although, you very well may be.) I am kind of the same way, anytime I have to stand up for myself my voice and body start quivering. Sometimes I am near tears. I still make myself do it.
I don’t know your roommate’s version of the story, but I bet if you asked her she would say that she feels isolated from the rest of you. That she feels like you guys get along so well and leave her out. When you don’t bother to ask her to wash her dishes, or throw away her “rotten” food she probably feels ignored, even invisible. When she is literally screaming on the phone and no one bothers to ask her if everything is okay or even to say “shut the hell up, I’m trying to sleep!” she has to wonder why you don’t even acknowledge her presence.
I’m not saying she’s the vicitim by any means, but I am pointing out the other perspectives that manifest when there is a general lack of communication. That can’t be a good environment to go home to. You know, home, where you feel most secure, every individual’s “safe zone”? I don’t think any of you feel like that. And I doubt this unpleasant roommate of yours feels very welcome in her “home” either.
You’ve got to talk to her dear. Be firm, precise and straightforward. You can still be the polite **choti jaan **that we know you are, but that does not mean that you have to be timid. I know you’re afraid of what people will think of you, you’re afraid of becoming this monster right? You may actually have enimies! People might say negative things about you behind your back. You might not be the sweet, innocent, youthful girl that you have been your whole life.
As far as I am concerned, therein lies the problem. Look at your username: choti jaan. Its so sweet that it makes my tooth ache. And in most of your threads you come across as this damsel in distress, almost like your whining for help. Much like a child would do, “choti” right? Please don’t be offended, because I honestly took a liking to you. You are extremely sweet and innocent. And there are moments, when you’re responding to someone else’s problem, or getting involved in an issue beyond your personal scope, where I see real glimpses of you. Somewhere inside you is a strong, intelligent person. You have thoughtful and insightful contributons and suggestions. You’ve got to embrace this side of you instead of being so scared of it! Be bold, be brazen, be confident. Youthfulness and naieveity are often indicators of immaturity.
You are going to be an MD soon and you’ll also be someone’s wife. You’re going to have a husband and a susral that you’ll have to stand up to. You’re going to have patients who you’ll have to break bad news to.
Trust me, when you work up the courage to stand up for yourself, no one, not even the gossiping aunties will think bad of you. Right now they probably imagine that you are this sweet, gullible, bholi girl. If someone says, “Oh did you hear, choti jaan told her nasty roommate to shove it!” they will all remember your sweet and pleasant disposition and realize the fault lies with your roommate. Furthermore, they will realize that choti jaan has turned into a bari woman! And people will always respect a mature, intelligent woman more than a child who has yet to understand the world.
I hope that came across okay. And if I didn’t, you better tell me off 
!!
