I am upset :(

[Orpheus]

Re: I am upset :(

to be honest, neither of u two seem ready for marriage.

i suggest you go with the other 'm' - m being mortgage :@:

[PyariCgudia]

Re: I am upset :(

I haven't heard stories like that since high school. Sorry, I don't know what to say.

Maybe jafri can help.

[diamond321]

@Magic_8_Ball

Sweetdoll,

Here’s what I think. Yes, it IS strange for him to disappear like that. Yes, he IS being immature. But then again…YOU are ALSO being IMMATURE.

Look at the parts in your post that I have highlighted in black and blue. When he apologized and said that “it’s okay”…your mood was still off. I understand that it’s hard, but you need to learn to let things go and move on from them when the other person has apologized (some people never apologize). After that for the next few days he was courteous enough to call you and ask how you were doing…and you responded with “one-liners.” WHY??? Asking how you were doing… was like his attempt at trying to MOVE ON from the fight. But instead…you gave him one-liners…which probably gave him the impression that you’re holding a grudge.

I think you both are at fault. Him for disappearing…and you for not moving on after a person has said sorry. Yes, such a combination is going to cause frustrations in a relationship…and you both are not even married yet!

For right now…the first thing I would suggest is that you STOP calling him and sending him “100” messages. This makes you look desperate…which is a turn off to men…and also women…in general. He KNOWS that you’re sending him messages…he has read and heard them…he’s not interested in responding right now. Him not responding to you is his way of saying that he doesn’t want to talk right no. So, leave him alone sweetheart…and get busy with your life. You had a life before him as well.

He’s taking a break from you. So you go ahead and ALSO take a break from him. Use this time to really think about a few things:

1. What is the reason behind these string of fights that you both are having?

2. Reflect over YOU OWN behavior also. It’s so easy to blame the other person. But it takes 2 people to make a relationship. Think about your own actions that might be hurting him/the relationship.

3. Ask yourself if you’re truly happy with him. Or if you are just going along with plans of marriage…only because…the baat has become “pakki” now…and you think it would “mess things up” if your break the engagement. “Baat pakki” should NOT be the sole reason for a person to continue a relationship. If you feel like he’s incompatible…then keep in mind…that it’s much easier to break off an engagement than a marriage. You still have time to end this before a marriage complicates things further.

M8B has given very good suggestion :k:

I would like to add one more thing. I don’t feel fights & arguments can affect a relationship negatively when two people are really in love. I have seen two couples who used to fight like cats & dogs before marriage & after marriage they were the same but it didn’t affect their relationship. My own cousin fights with her fiancé like anything but he loves her truly so it does not affect their relationship. BUT the important thing is …what are the things & issues you both fight on ? if it’s personal just about you & him then I think it’s ok and can be handled. But if it’s about either of your family or any 3rd person then you should seriously re-think about your relationship because no other person in the world should have the power to affect your relationship , if someone can hurt you both then your relationship is not strong enough.

He not replying to your 100 messages is plain rude. Have some self respect & stop contacting him and let him come back to you. Neither of you should ignore each other. I feel that now he knows that baat is paaki so you are HIS and he can do whatever he wants …shaadi ho hi jaye gi ! if that is the case then it’s not right , imagine how things will be after marriage then ?