Me and this guy had been friends for quite a few years and now we have our “baat pakki” by our family..He is in UAE and me in Pak. For the past few months, we have had great fights over phone and then he and me decided not to talk much… we both are of the same age:24… now the problem is that last week we again had a fight/arguments and we both ended up switching off the cells. Then very next day, he apologized and I said “itz ok” but still my mood was very much off.. for 2-3 days, he used to msg me daily once like how are u, whats up blah blah and I used to reply one liner..
Now the problem is that at once he has disappeared…i have been calling him 100 times daily and msging him, but he does not respond at all..I know that he is showing attitude now but I am just concerned if itz normal to disappear like that all of a sudden and do not reply to a single msg/call?? This is what he most of the times does when we have fight, he apologizes, (when itz his mistake) and then he disconnects completely.. I discussed this many times with him that disconnection is not the solution and for me itz such an immature attitude and he again apologizes but again do the same thing …
Am really upset and dun understand that what type of attitude is this?? Is this normal??is it that he wants to torture me like that?? What should I do? At times I feel we are not even compatible for marriage but seriously I don’t know what should be done? Am I overreacting?
This is quite immature, having 'great fights' over the phone. You guys aren't even married yet. Married life is not all fun and games and red roses, it takes a lot of tolerance, patience and compromise. Get out of the teenage boyfriend-girlfriend mindset and understand and own the consequences of your actions, both of yous. And give it a serious thought whether this is what you really want, and if you are both ready. 24 is a bit too young for a guy anyway.
Please do not use 'z' instead of 's', it is very annoying. And the bold font is not easy to read.
This is quite immature, having 'great fights' over the phone. You guys aren't even married yet. Married life is not all fun and games and red roses, it takes a lot of tolerance, patience and compromise. Get out of the teenage boyfriend-girlfriend mindset and understand and own the consequences of your actions, both of yous. And give it a serious thought whether this is what you really want, and if you are both ready. 24 is a bit too young for a guy anyway.
Please do not use 'z' instead of 's', it is very annoying. And the bold font is not easy to read.
Gracias.
thanx janwar... but i wanted to ask if itz normal to disconnect like that??
Dont know, men are all a bunch of freaks. I do think though, that fighting over phone/anywhere before marriage, is just not right. Maybe try talking to each other less. your not even married yet. He sounds like he likes the attention he knows he will get. he knows he will get you calling him 100 times a day, some people thrive on that. just stop it all.
I agree with nadz ! stop calling him & stop giving him all the attention you have been giving & then wait & watch and see where all this will take you.
Another thing, you both seem the same to me. both playing games, both switchin cell off, both ignoring, you doing it for a 3 days,him doing it for longer, its a game. now he has the ball and your panicking....but didnt you say you also were giving him one liners ( esp when he knows thats not normal from you) and so he though aha,,,,il just switch off completely.....
The whole argument/fight is immature. You might have reasonable ground to begin with, but if you stretch the issue beyond its boundaries, bad mouth and dig the burried ghosts, you are scoring negative points. (You people live far away, opening old accounts is the only explanation why you people have great fights).
The very next day he apologized and you said it is ok. You should never really say it is ok untill you mean it and you are willing to move on. When he apologizes, talk out your issue, concerns, problems, grudges you are holding and then say it is ok with a clear mind. There is no point in sending uniliners when you did say, it is ok.
Disappearing, torturing is wrong. It is not acceptable in any case and you should get the fact registered to him. Communicte this to him. But instead of cursing him or swearing at him, tell him it is hurtful. Forgive him, if he apologizes, because you gave him a reason to do so anyway.
As a post script, petty arguments make the relationship ugly. Avoid them. Even when you do have a valid point, there is always an amicable way of getting it across. By behaving immaturely, you lose respect, and ur words dont carry any weight either.
I agree with nadz toooo. Stop giving him all the attention and then u see either he will straighten up or if not then leave him. Rest is upto you. women are sensitive and emotional and men always take advantage of this point. So u better show him off his right place. or else this problem will remain till the end.
Why are you trying to equate men and women? A Man is naturally superior, sort of like master of the household. A woman is supposed to take care of his needs and to give birth to and raise his children. Don't have the roles confused.
The guy is having a moment of clarity . Usually we have it on two occasions . Once after a fight and make up , and second one after . . . ahum . Surprisingly after both we think ''What the hack I got myself in to'' . So yea its perfectly normal to disappear . Give him few days , once hormones will kick in and he'll be back with you .
You should've been fine with him when he apologized yet you continued giving him the cold shoulder. His turn now and that's what he's doing. Long distance relationships are difficult but you have to realize that your relationship is past the bf-gf stage and you're soon going to be married Inshallah. Petty arguments or 'fights' will result in both of you parting ways.
If you don’t ve any proper advise then it will be good to sit and watch other views.
